In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Yesterday, I started feeling a bit different. I am not sure if it was positivity or if it was nonchalance that was permeating through my mind.
Today, I woke up really late! Oh, my God! However, I woke up with the same feeling I had the day before, only stronger. I realised that my mindset has been adjusted from a grieving victimised ex-girlfriend to an empowered single confident and independent woman. In fact, I felt like I have never been in a relationship before. What is an ex? What is ghosted? What is a baby mama?
Basically it felt like I was on a clean slate. Like I have completely wiped out all my sentiments and memories of ALL — yes, get this, ALL — men I have ever admired/liked/loved.
At this point of time, they simply have no imprints left on my heart.
They have disrespected me so I don’t see the point of honouring them, even in my memory.
I feel good. I feel powerful. Shit, son, I feel brave.
I am ready to love… anytime.
However, while waiting for my man, I ain’t gonna sit around doing nothing.
I am working on myself. A lot of exciting things coming my way. I have a staff chalet this weekend. Hopefully, I’ll learn to be more active in capturing those moments. I will only stay for one night tomorrow, then after the BBQ on Saturday evening, I will head home. I am volunteering at the Istana again on Sunday from 7am to 1pm so I think it is best that I get a good rest the night before. I will be completely busy at work preparing for Mother’s Day celebration on 6 May, Friday. If my dad is not working, I might go to the game on 10 May, Tuesday with him. I am still keeping up with Zumba every Wednesday evening. I will be jamming on 12 May, Thursday at Aljunied. It will be the first time I am meeting a group of men in their 30s in a soundproofed room so pray for my safety. I hope they will like my vocals enough to keep inviting me to their sessions. The following is the confirmed setlist:
On top of all that, I am still keeping up with my Iqra’ classes and my Quran classes. Alhamdulillah.
More interestingly for you readers, I just got on this dating app called LunchClick, which is really catered for serious singles. So far, I had one interested in me but I am not sure if I am supposed to ask him out or if I should wait for him to do so. I will just go with the flow. Okcupid was cool but I actually didn’t want to throw myself into the dating scene so quickly to be honest. The only reason I got LunchClick was to sort of accompany my friend who was interested in the app. But hey, why not go for it? I don’t have to answer to anyone and it is not like my ex cares if I get together with anyone so quickly, eh?
On top of that as well, I am still working on my album called Boldly. Might have to set that aside for now since I am quite occupied with so many fun stuff.
Additionally, I am having fun blogging and vlogging here and singing on smule.
I am very happy right now.
And He is Knower of all things. – MM