I Play: Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines (female Malkavian) | Episode 1

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I Ramble: 20 May 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Oh, my goodness. That is all I could manage for now.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Well, things are definitely getting more interesting. Very unexpected but very interesting. I am okay with things being like this to be honest but I do hope to have a good conclusion at the end of things.

Why the cryptic nonsense, Nurul Huda?

Well, guys, see here; interesting developments have occurred in my personal life. Usually, I would elaborate but I think right now, I would give it a miss and keep those developments to myself. Muahahahaha.

However, there are a couple of things that I suppose I could go through in the post.

Firstly, oh wow I managed to get through the entire week at work after having a new responsibility fall into my lap. A colleague injured herself and that warranted her unfit for work until 25 May. As such, I have been appointed to supervise the intern at work in my colleague’s place instead. It is not that big a deal to be frank but I somehow feel the weight of the responsibility. My other colleagues commented that I took that task rather seriously. I talked to my P about it. She asked whether I was interested in the mentoring aspect of it. I couldn’t really answer her. I did not have any mentoring qualifications so I really am not sure if I managed to impart the right things to the intern. I did not have any leadership qualifications, knowledge, or experiences. Well… I did enjoy the feeling of being able to pick out things that could help the intern improve herself professionally or her lessons. Maybe I was hesitant to answer my P because I really am not sure if I am up for the position of a senior teacher. By admitting that I enjoyed supervising the intern, I might end up signalling to them that I am ready for the role. Personally, I do not feel I am ready for it because I am not equipped with the skills and knowledge. On the other hand, my entire career thus far has been about being thrown in the deep end of the pool and learning to survive on the get-go. Hmm… also, it looks like I will have to supervise her longer as my colleague will only return on 30 June in the end. Oh, to be fair, I also enjoyed learning from the intern as well. Reminds me when I was still all bright-eyed and enthusiastic about learning the tools of the trade. And we all know I am always up from learning no matter who teaches me. 🙂

Secondly, family affairs. I won’t go into the details but basically, I am being put in a position whereby I will have to takeover the family’s financial responsibilities sooner than I would like to. I would really like to finish paying off my study loan this year so having 1k out of the window each month has left me very very tight with money. I don’t quite understand how we ended up in this predicament but if He wills it to be, I can only do what I have to to please Him. Hmm… yeah this matter is slightly heavier than the first one… plus it is coupled with recent developments in the family as well. Well, Nurul Huda, you’ve got bills to pay and mouths to feed. Welcome to being 30 soon. At the end of the day, just make sure you can safely say, “Jangan cakap Nurul Huda tak payung”.

Regardless, I feel blessed with my current tests in life. I hope I can do well in all of them. Insya Allah.

And He is Knower of all things. – MM

I Recall: 15 May 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

So… WordPress is telling me I haven’t blogged in about two weeks now. Jeng jeng jeng…

Well, like I have mentioned before, I was rather busy. Even the part-time teacher commented just how happening my life is right now. Hahaha! Well, actually, I still have yet to go on a date through LunchClick because my potential date was busy and then I was busy and now he is back to being busy again. I actually watched him perform last night at the Malay Heritage Centre. It was quite surreal to have him pick me out from the crowd when he was in front with the other performers during the finale. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stick around long enough to meet him after… because mum got mad at me last Thursday night for not telling her I will be home late.

Really, I am 26 years old and I have never needed to tell her my activities and what time I will be home all of my life. Suddenly, she got mad at me… all because of one person in the house who broke that trust. Not fair. Come on, man. She even got me to promise that I won’t meet up with strangers from the Internet. But then how the heck am I suppose to get to know people, right?! I didn’t make that promise. I can’t. She will have to realise that my world will forever be small unless I start putting myself out there. I understand her position and I know the risks. I will probably react worse than her when I become a mother myself in the future, Insha Allah. Hahaha! Should this conflict happen again, I will need to explain my position to her. Tactfully and respectfully of course.

I must admit that I want to go back to not having a curfew. Seriously, man, I have been good all these while. Cut me some slack and let me not have a curfew… hahaha!

Okay, I don’t want to turn this recollection post into a ramble. Move on.

I was busy crazy for Mother’s Day celebration preparations. God. What did I get myself into by being responsible for two classes and three levels?! Hahahaha! Please, Cikgu Nurul! No more again! Hahaha!

But the Mother’s Day celebration on 6 May marked one month of my breakup. I made it. Not gonna lie, the pain remains in my heart but I have begun to forget many details of my relationship such as dates. I only remember my breakup date now. Hopefully, that too will cease in time.

In fact, I have something new to help me chuck that out of my life completely:

13 April 2016: I guess that made it one week post-breakup. My passion for singing was rekindled through smule and I thought, heck, since I am all single again now, why not I try out for a band and see if there are any kind souls out there who are willing to take me in as their singer. So I did and after looking through a few forum posts on soft.com.sg, I stumbled upon one post that intrigued me. They were looking for a vocalist who is interested in rock and metal. They stated their age range and influences. I was alright with all those and initiated contact. I asked about the songs they usually jam to and I received a setlist. It was great that I got involved in smule so they could have a listen to my voice. Then a couple of days later the jamming session was set to be held on 12 May.

Luckily, I asked my colleague to teach me a few techniques to sing loud and strong. It did help me eventually but I still need a lot of work. But then I got busy with Mother’s Day so the practising stopped. So for the entire week after the Mother’s Day hoohah, I was practising the songs. I just completely forsake everything else, even my work actually. I don’t know. I suppose, I was very aware of how possibly skilled they might all be. I didn’t want to look ridiculous too although in the end, I did. Hahaha! Also, I suppose, I did have quite a bit of a singer’s pride. It doesn’t feel good when people tell you they don’t like your voice. :/

12 May 2016: The day of reckoning arrived. I was really nervous, really anxious, really worried. Will they like my voice? Will I be able to sing properly? Will they like me? We met up at a coffee shop nearby the jamming studio. And oh, man, I messed up horribly on most of the songs. However, somehow somewhere, I felt in sync with the band. That was when I realise, “Crap, I really want to be part of the band now”. Hahaha! Really! I can’t really explain it. After the session ended, I really wasn’t sure how things would pan out. I mean, they didn’t say if I was in or out or made any comments about my voice or singing. I offered to pay my share of the jamming cost but they refused to take my money. Haha! Then we had supper at the same coffee shop. They also refused to take my money for that when I offered to pay my share! They said next round is on me. Alrighty then! It was like a band meeting as well. We had a round table discussion about the jamming session. We discussed the good and the bad things that happened during the session. I actually received commends for the ending of Flight of Icarus during the session. I managed to hold a note for what felt like the longest time ever and nailed the final high note, which was more of a scream. Haha! I was coughing badly at the end of it! Horrible me. Hahahaha! They applauded me again during the discussion. I guess, that was my saving grace. Flight of Icarus will forever be my boon and bane. Hahahaha! When it came to my turn to contribute my input, I told them I felt a good chemistry amongst ourselves. They seemed to agree. Still, I wasn’t sure if I was in or not. Went home. Reached home.

They added me to the group chat.

Oh, okay? Looks like I’m in! 😀

I’m really happy about it. In fact, I went home feeling really overjoyed. I really enjoyed the session. Had a lot of fun. I suppose they felt the same way. I guess I will never know what they feel about me and their internal discussion about me. Hahaha!

So yup looks like it’s me and four guys. It feels like I’m a tomboy all over again! Hahahaha! Hopefully, we’ll have loads of opportunities to play together and deep down I sincerely hope we can have opportunities to perform on stage. I think that would be neat but for now, we are sticking to casual jamming and growing together as a band.

Me in a band… wow… I have dreamt of it for the longest time ever. Since we were all busy with our life commitments, we bonded over conversations in the group chat. Good fun. I feel at home with them to be honest because I feel safe and happy and I can be myself.

Band name? I’m assuming it’s Dry Magnum. Hahaha! Well they never explicitly mentioned it but one of them dropped that name on his YouTube channel. By the way guys, really, save your ears from my voice but if you wanna ruin them anyway, go here and here to check out our videos. 🙂 They play well. I unfortunately, sang less well. Nevermind, motivation for me to improve.

I will be busier at work now. Just had a new responsibility fall into my lap. Sighs. Just like that happy days can be over. But I shall trod on… looking forward to the next jamming session after Hari Raya. They want to wear baju kurung. They want me to wear baju kebaya. I told them I will wear jubah instead and they are okay with it but I will surprise them anyway with my kebaya. Haha!

Also they have been throwing ideas for a music video and band photoshoot hahaha! The suggested timings are unearthly. So yeah… this is why I want to have no curfew… I don’t want my band activities to be limited… I am willing to compromise my dating life for my band life even.

Please, Ma, please, please, never mind if I can’t date a guy until late night but please let me be with my band!!! 😀  Hahahahaha!!!

And Allah is Knower of all things. – MM

I Read: Dakwah Secara Terbuka — Khadijah: The True Love Story of Muhammad (Bahasa Indonesia)

In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.

This chapter examines the period of time whereby Muhammad (peace be upon him) was spreading the message of Islam openly instead of limiting it to only family and friends. It was quite a dangerous and trying time.

Therefore, it was fascinating to see that as one of the many trials that a married couple might have to undergo. Imagine our suffering brothers and sisters in places like Aleppo, Gaza, and Syria… having to part with their partners with genuine worry for their safety, not knowing if they will come back home. That must have been what Khadijah (blessings be upon her) went through went Muhammad was pretty much a walking target. The fact that his own uncle, Abu Jahal, wanted to kill him with a boulder, emphasises just how dangerous it became for him.

Yet, we have couples arguing over petty issues, augmented by lack of effective communication, personal egos, and maybe in the first place, lack of genuine love for each other.

What I really like was the author wondering if Khadijah actually sent her daughter Fatimah (blessings be upon her) to spy on the enemies of Islam and inform the family should there be plans to endanger her father, Muhammad. That was pretty intelligent of Khadijah if that was so. What I can take away from this is that as a potential wife, I will need to be intelligent in handling affairs like Khadijah. Also, this is very important to note, perhaps it is okay to collect intelligence and information about our husbands. However, do so if there is genuine concern for his safety and well-being. Do not spy on him unnecessarily, really. I think that is possibly damaging to the relationship when you keep on trying to actualise something that was never there. I mean that in terms of always being suspicious of the husband cheating on you when he really doesn’t.

So yeah, moral of the story is, be intelligent in handling affairs.

And He is Knower of all things. – MM

I Ramble: 1 May 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Happy Labour Day, everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend! I know I have! However, the lack of sleep is killing my body. Ugh.

It’s that time of the month whereby I check my progress in achieving my 2016 goals. So far… very unsuccessful. Ha!

Anyway, I really have to get back to sleeping at 11pm and waking up at 5am. Until I nail that down, we are all going to have a problem with my lethargy, lack of productivity, and tardiness.

I have updated my goals. Those I have achieve and/or am consistent in achieving were struck out in black. Those I had to cancel or amend were struck out in red:

2016 goals updated 01052016

 

I have been wondering if I would do better in achieving those goals by having some sort of an anchor person or life coach who would help me keep on track. For waking up, I will just text my colleague upon waking up at 5am. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit? I will do that consistently for 21 days and see how it goes.

Alrighty. Right back what is wrong, we move along.

And He is Knower of all things. – MM