I Relate: 27 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

And He is Knower of all things. – MM

I Ramble: 24 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Ya Allah,

Thank you for blessing me with the best in this world.

Amin.

You know best for You are the Knower of all things. – MM

I Recall: 20 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

17 September 2016.

I was supposed to meet A at 8am at Long John Silver’s at Tampines Mall. In the end, we met at 9.15am though because his bus, 88, was caught in a jam. Apparently, I didn’t realise he was waiting for me at the entrance of the mall and I simply walked past him hahaha! He told me he had to go after me but while doing so, he was stopped twice by strangers asking him for directions! Hehehe… I walk really fast by the way so you can imagine just how comical that was! Hehehe!

The man treated me breakfast as a belated birthday gift! Wheeee~ He brought his laptop and transferred stuff to my external hard disk as a birthday gift as well! I feel so rich! Oh, oh! I gave him a little surprise as well by transferring him stuff to his laptop. I hope he likes them. Hehe.

After breakfast, we made our way to Pasir Ris Park. It was quite funny! We kept going back and forth within the interchange before finally walking to the park via Downtown East. The walk took longer than I imagined but I didn’t have a problem with it because I enjoy walking. I just feel bad for him because he had to carry his laptop, two bottles of peach tea that he bought (I bought a bottle of mineral water for myself), and my acoustic guitar (he volunteered to carry it, okay, I didn’t force him).

Even upon reaching the park, we kept going back and forth as well trying to find a good spot! Hahahaha! So cartoon!

Well, we settled down and worked on my original song that I wanted to give to Se Young as a gift! It was so cool…having the opportunity to experience making music and witness how he input the notes he figured out for my song into Guitar Pro 5 on his laptop. I thought to myself, wow, never in a million years could I have imagined that I would know someone who is exceptionally talented and that I would get to work with him. It truly felt surreal. Actually, before working on our song, he taught me guitar basics. I was really a noob so he got to laugh at me being rubbish at it a lot hahaha! Anyway, he did a really nice thing for me. He took out my guitar saddle so that the strings would be closer to the fretboard, making it easier for me to press down the strings, thus playing the guitar becomes much easier as well. It touched me as well when he told me he’d give me his guitar pick, which is thicker than mine. He stood up, got his wallet out and got the pick out of the wallet. It was black and had the initials ‘JP’. “Judas Priest?” I asked trying to figure out what that was. “Also can,” he replied with a chuckle before adding, “Well actually it stands for John Petrucci”. I didn’t add onto the conversation about JP given how clueless I was… But you know, after doing a bit of online research, I am now more touched than ever. Check it out: http://www.jimdunlop.com/product/john-petrucci-jazz-iii

Like wow… Little old noobie me deserves a pick like that right out of his wallet? I feel even more motivated to learn guitar more than ever! Truly honoured!

Anyway, he eventually managed to figure out the chords for the entire song. I felt really bad for him because I kept screwing up my chorus singing! Ahahaha! Well, he just laughed it off the whole time. I am so grateful for that. It felt really nice to sing along to him playing the guitar. I was so focused on my singing that I think he might have been amused by it because he looked at me sometimes. Oh well. Maybe the sun was playing tricks on me. After that, since it was close to dinnertime, we decided to grab a bite at Asli Village @ Downtown East. While making our way there, he sang a bit for me, just a couple of lines, asking me if I know the song…but it was still nice anyway. I like his singing.

When we reached there, I offered to pay him for my food but he waved it off and set a deal, saying I could pay for his bandung instead while he treated me to dinner. After he ordered our food, I asked him to keep an eye on our belongings while I went to get our drinks. After getting the drinks and turning back, there he was standing and smiling. Hmm… There was something in his expression that I can’t quite figure out. Also, I don’t quite know if he has been watching our stuff or me instead. HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right, Huda, in your dreams.

Anyway, while having our dinner, he took out his laptop and showed me how his old version of Game Maker Pro works. He let me meddle with the software. Once again, it felt so surreal…to see the game he designed for me in its development form — the codings, the images, the music, the folders, and so on. I’m referring to the game ‘Fruity El Kapitan’, which I recorded a let’s play of on YouTube called ‘Fruity Fun!’ I was truly amazed by it. I think he enjoyed watching my reactions. Oh well. Maybe he was just checking to see if I understood what he meant.

After dinner the man accompanied me at the bus stop. I had a direct bus to my bus stop from there. He had to take 88 from the interchange though. I offered to walk with him to the interchange since 21 is there as well but he said that would be bo liao of me. I think we parted ways at about 6.30pm…which neither of us expected! We actually planned to meet for a few hours but whoa, we didn’t realise that we could actually finish the whole song in one day! He was really amazed by that fact as well.

Upon reaching home, we both talked about our day out hahahaha! Gosh. We both enjoyed it but we came to the consensus that the beach was too humid for us hahaha! So maybe we’ll jam at the garden near his house instead. He said he’ll even cook for me wheeeeee~!

Last Sunday night, I whipped out my guitar to play it since he has modded it for me. Wow, I can still smell his cologne on my guitar and there were little specks of ashes from his Viceroy cigarettes.

I could get used to this.

Well, yesterday, I told Eleena something that even caught me by surprise. I said, “I never thought I could be happy again.”

Only Allah Knows best. – MM

I Ramble: 14 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

I’m feeling that again — the wish to not talk to anyone… I’m just too exhausted from work.

How on earth can Nora managed a 7 to 7 shift, I have no idea.

I will be quiet for a little while.

And He knows best. – MM

I Ramble: 8 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

I shared with A the Humble Game Maker Bundle. I informed him that I bought it. Well, guess what?

He bought it too! Yay! He told me his version was too old and the licence to publish games has already expired.

I’m glad I told him about it!

I feel very happy right now. Very tired but very happy.

A makes me happy.

Nora makes me happy too! Really appreciating all the help she is giving me. I am really trying to do better so she won’t get upset with my bad habits but my body is simply not cooperating with me. 😦

I am really tired. The happiness I am feeling now though, is the biggest source of what little energy I have now.

Yeah, I’m secretly grateful you’re living this moment with me…

…my dear A and Nora.

Nora might be coughing right now amd wondering why she is. Hahahahaha!

And Allah is Knower of all things. – MM

I Ramble: 7 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

I woke up to news that Humble Bundle is selling a Game Maker bundle.

My jaw dropped briefly before I swallowed while purchasing it. Hahaha!

Yep, I am really excited about having the software now! A uses Game Maker Pro, a slightly different version from the one I have now but still! I can work towards collaborating with him on games he is creating now! WHEEEEE~ 😀

I’m really tired but I’m feeling more energetic. Thank you, Allah! 😀

Alsooooo…. A sent me his rendition of Super Mario’s theme last night using his electric guitar and effects to keep my spirits up during these busy and exhausting times at work, especially. Can’t help but have a huge smile on my face! 😀

He’s really been a gem in my life for the past four months now? Besides game-making, music-making, he is also really interested in learning more languages. In fact, he would like me to learn the same languages he is learning so we could both practise on each other. Hehehe. He bought Pimsleur audio packs and will share them with me. Very kind and sweet of him. 😀

Yes, today I am full of smiles. 😀

I will be busy-crazy at work today. Pray for me, people! Hahahaha!

Also, have a piece of music to chillax to: https://youtu.be/1NDSP9dzk7g

And Allah is Knower of all things. – MM

I Ramble: 6 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

I feel so tired that I am just lying on my bed right now when I should be up and going.

I think stress can really affect you physically indirectly.

Somehow, being a winner takes a lot more hard work than I realised. Hopefully, it will feel sweeter to receive the award after being put through all of this hard work.

I am really glad Nora helps me out at work a lot. My colleagues and A are very supportive of me too.

Can somebody carry me around today? Sighs.

On a more energetic note, I need to get the following done at work today:

  • Letter to parents regarding our fundraising project
  • Answer interview questions asked by a local magazine
  • Song charts for the songs that will be used in the Light of Love musical
  • The Light of Love musical script

Okay, that is enough to set my mind focused on the tasks at hand. I will share more about our fundraising drive and the musical production I will be overseeing with Nora in another post because I have got to get to work now.

And Allah is the Knower of all things. – MM

I Ramble: 3 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

A shared with me recently about how his life is no longer the same after knowing me.

He told me that after bumping into me, he found himself working on his old passions, namely music and programming, and that the quality of his works now is much better compared to before. He has become more serious than ever in music and programming. There is no turning back for him.

He also mentioned how I have inspired a lot of his projects that he is working on now such as the games he want to create and the songs he want to finish.

I am secretly grateful that I was able to have had a positive impact on him.

Apparently, he has also followed my habit of snacking on biscuits with a warm beverage. Hahaha!

Gosh.

To think we were once strangers…having led our lives oblivious to each other’s existence… and now we’re close as though we’ve known each other our entire lives…and affecting each other in various ways.

I don’t think he will ever find out how he has impacted me in return because he doesn’t read my blog and I’m too lazy to share with him personally. :p

He… made it easier for me to want to get up in the mornings. He doesn’t even need to call me. He made me believe in myself, especially my voice. He knows how to push me in the right ways towards the right directions. He makes me to always want to be a better version of myself. Sometimes I think I am becoming more domesticated because he has influenced me to be so, given how his solo lifestyle is, having to cook and clean for himself on top of supporting himself. That’s how I should be living my life if I were to really proclaim independence.

Most of all, I think he allows me to feel safe and he allows me to be myself.

Although I get upset and have problems, I don’t find myself being too weepy or moany or depressed all the time like I used to. I am still generally happy even during these difficult times. That doesn’t mean I didn’t cry or rage. I did but every negative reaction has went down a notch for me.

Maybe we both grew old. We both admitted that.

But it’s always nice to feel like we affect people, isn’t it?

I’m really happy that finally I’m able to make the person I care about feel happy too.

Sometimes I think it’s such a shame I couldn’t do the same for the guys in my lives before him.

But then I realise, the problem wasn’t me and that I wasn’t supposed to make myself feel accountable for their happiness or lackthereof. Yes, I used to carry this weight around — that I am the one who caused them to feel miserable and that I deserved to not be loved.

But really, I gave more than I should to them.

But anyway, I have pretty much cut them out of my life. I have never mattered to them to begin with in the first place.

So I’m sure they don’t feel any loss.

I’m just another girl and they can just get another girl.

But to A, I’m not just another girl. I’m a weirdo. :p

A weirdo he wants to team up with in projects we are both passionate about.

So alrighty. Let’s embark now. 🙂

And He is Knower of all things. – MM