I Ramble: 28 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I haven’t slept a wink and it’s already 5:25am now. I might be in trouble over the lack of sleep because I have not one but two interviews today.

Of all the days to be so wide awake at night….zzzzz

Maybe retrieving le fiance’s mail wasn’t such a good idea. Oh, the things he was put through. D:<

When it comes to money, both of us seemed to be tested greatly. Money going out but money not returning when it should be. I think if the both of us were to survive in the future, we need tighter financial policies. Hahaha!

But actually, no, it’s not really a laughing matter when both of us keep getting suckered out of our money out of our kindness.

I need to sit down with him and re-prioritise our pending payments.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure now that I’m annoyed by the thought of people getting away with our money, enjoying their lives, while the two of us battle hunger, sickness, and limited funds.

But knowing him and knowing myself, we won’t be fighting to get our money back. Instead, we’ll be fighting to start our earnings from scratch. Yes, it’s very painful to be conned of a four-digit sum and for him a five-digit sum if not a six-digit sum. But because we are very thin on resources, all the more we should utilise those resources in growing them.

So please, please, please pray for us our affairs will be made easier for us.

I also cannot thank Nora enough for helping me through these difficult times and both Nora and Lyra while I was in the Philippines.

I am also endlessly grateful to Him for letting them both into my life because if we were to base things on first impressions, both of them would certainly not be my friends and I would be worse off right now.

And I can never fully repay my family for spotting me cash in my time of need.

As for le fiance’s health update, he’s still weak and drowsy. It’s been a week now since that fateful night. I think what kept me up as well beside the abovementioned frustration in life is my anxiety in finding out if he will finally be well today. At least well enough to follow me to a group interview by the Japanese retail company I mentioned before in an earlier post. He is still keen on an outdoorsy driver delivery job but I much rather he stays indoors with people around him in a well air-conditioned place and goes home with a higher pay.

But I seriously think my pitch to him would centre more on the air-con. Hehehe.

Wow, it is 6:07am and I am still not sleepy and I have to be out of the house in about two hours.

Hais.

Stay financially wise everyone.

And Allah is Al-Baasit, the Expander, the Munificent. – MM

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I Write: Mortal — Chapter 4

Zola awakened from her slumber, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of her room light and her ears pricked at the ruckus going on outside her room.

Damn, I forgot to switch off the light. And wow, people are so happy about the first day of classes?

She got up from her bed steadily as she rubbed her sleepy eyes a bit. She walked to the window to take a look outside.

Before she could even gasp, a firm face appeared right in front of her and his arms embraced her tightly, while a burning meteor-like giant stone flew towards them from behind him at a rapid speed.

Zola and the stranger disappeared just as the fiery stone crashed into Zola’s room, wrecking walls and shattering glass, producing a thunderous cacophony and strewing a devastating mosaic of the opaque and the transparent.

*

Zola gasped loudly as she appeared at a hall full of students with the stranger. There must have been hundreds of them; some sitting on the benches, some tending to their wounds, and a few were lying on wheeled-beds. She trembled and nearly fainted as the stranger stepped away from her and disappeared from sight. Right at that moment, a girl caught her just in time and propped her up from her left.

“It’s okay, I got you. Just try to calm down a bit. Let’s sit over there with the other first-year girls,” the girl said gently and Zola immediately realised who it was.

Zola nodded weakly and tried to muster all the strength in her legs. She was too stunned and too bewildered to say anything. She was not even sure if she knew of any questions to ask. She would just have to trust Venera. Zola sat beside a girl who was trembling like her and sobbing quietly while Venera took her place beside Zola. Zola tried to find her voice to ask Venera about the situation at hand but failed. Venera, who seemed to have deciphered Zola’s confusion, rubbed Zola’s back comfortingly and said, “I think it’s best if you don’t look up or look around yet until you are calm enough to speak. For now, just know that something very serious is going on right now. The school is in a state of emergency. More will be explained to you later when you are no longer in a state of shock.”

Zola nodded weakly again and closed her eyes for a bit. She inhaled deeply before exhaling it all out. She repeated the breathing technique her mother taught her when she was a child after waking up from a horrible nightmare. Since then, nightmares became a frequent occurrence for Zola. Zola was able to put up with it at first but the intensity of the nightmares increased until she was hospitalised for a severe panic attack one night. Despaired, her mother brought her to stay with her grandmother in a remote village in Nigeria. Zola could not recall what those nightmares were about. She could not recall exactly what happened at her grandmother’s house either. All she could recall were the times she spent happily with her grandmother, learning about flowers and their uses in her grandmother’s garden. And that the nightmares stopped since then.

“Venera…” Zola’s voiced trailed off as she turned to her left, only to find Venera’s seat vacant. During that short glance to her left, Zola noticed that a few benches were empty and managed to catch sight of a girl leaving her seat, following a line of girls who were being ushered out of the hall by student councillors. She wondered where they were heading to and if she needed to leave the hall with them as well.

“They’re being sent home, Zola,” Venera interrupted her thoughts while propping Nerea and leading her to the empty space on the bench beside Zola.

Zola found Nerea’s pallid visage and vacant stare disconcerting. She looked at Venera and asked meekly, “All of us?”

There was a look of hesitation on Venera’s face. Zola found that to be even more disconcerting. For someone like Venera to be uncertain, the situation at hand must have been a greatly distressing one. Before Venera could answer, she was tugged away by a girl who whispered something urgently in her ear as they pulled away from Zola’s sight.

Zola looked down, slightly afraid to look at Nerea and the girl on her right, who was still sobbing and trembling.

What the hell is going on?

*

“Damn it! It’s my bedtime! Give me a break! I must have already killed at least fifty of you!” Yezekael yelled as he landed a blow with his fist on the creature’s face before him.

“Ouch! Shit! Is your head made of brick or something?!” Yezekael continued to punch with his other fist.

The creature screeched horribly at each of his hit. It opened its mouth and Yezekael could spot a glowing ember emerging from the back of the creature’s mouth.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Yezekael got down and swept the creature’s legs with his right leg. The creature was knocked over and Yezekael could see a burning ball of fiery stone shooting out of its mouth before quickly dropping back into it due to gravity.

The creature went into spasms and choked. Yezekael took the opportunity to take his dagger chucked aside nearby on the ground and stabbed the creature in the chest with it.

Black liquid flowed from it as Yezekael yanked his dagger out. He was ready to plunge it in again but stopped when he saw the creature’s eyes roll up. The creature shook vigorously for a few more moments before it went limp and then immobile.

Yezekael heard a horrible screech that must have been a hundred times worse than that of the creature before him. Yezekael covered his ears quickly and looked up.

“Shit!”

The mother of the Qakkirs he killed was getting angrier, especially at him.

I Romance: 24 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

Dear Bee,

Here are a few easy-listening songs for you to relax to while you are recovering. And well, okay, our favourite song at the end of the list hehe.

Love always,

Bae xoxo

P.S.: If you guys haven’t noticed, I have been signing off with Allah’s names (there are 99 of them), some were mentioned in the third video.

And Allah is Al-Qaabid, the Restrainer, the Straightener. – MM

I Ramble: 23 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

Does anybody miss Mortal? I know I do. I was scrolling through FaceBook when I come across this video. Guess the Gorilla’s name… It’s Zola! Hehehe!

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fbbcnews%2Fvideos%2F10154803820962217%2F&show_text=1&width=560

I think I will get on with Chapter 4 tomorrow. I’ve finally got a bit of inspiration to start the chapter with so it’s just a matter of taking it from there.

Oh! By the way, right after I lamented about my inept abilities in securing jobs with high-profile organisations, Mamma Mia! Both of them called me back for an interview! :O

And to think I screwed up both of their tests! Both organisations contacted me on the same day to inform me about it.

And today I received a call from another Japanese company but in retail. :O

Alhamdulillah. I am so thankful to Him. I know, having a shot at an interview does not equate job security but at least the good news will keep me going in my pursuit of securing a job. Also, such good news are most welcomed during such difficult times. Been doing all I can not to break down.

I got to see le fiance today. He looked so weak. He was still drowsy and in a lot of pain. I wanted to cry as I looked at his weary visage but turned away when I felt the tears coming and there was a strain in my voice as I replied “Okay” to him when he told me not to worry about him. He took my hand, stroked it, and kissed it.

I blushed, of course. Gee, what a man.

I hope he recovers quickly in time for him to join me for the interview with the Japanese retail company…and I hope he gets the job. Mate needs to stop doing manual labour outdoors. He’s no longer fit to do so anymore, I feel.

If he still hasn’t recovered by Tuesday, I’d probably drag him out to the Singapore Buddhist Free Clinic. Hey, TCM, especially acupuncture might just be what he needs.

People, pray for him so he may get well soon and be able to stand on his own two feet again. Pray for me as well so that I may get the best job out of the three options currently available to me right now. Amin.

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And Allah is Al-‘Alim, the All Knowing, the Omniscient. – MM

I Ramble: 22 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I absolutely botched the test set by the Japanese company.

Sighs.

Maybe I’m too dumb for the corporate world…

But le fiancé refused to allow me to believe that of myself. He reminded me that intelligences come in different form and mine was not related to Mathematics.

He cited my writing as an example. My story, Mortal, has made him look forward to reading more.

Well, usually, I would dwell on my failures but for some reason, I’m choosing not to this time or I’m simply disinclined to do so. Maybe financial pressures and other personal worries simply has squashed out any remaining space for self-pity.

Just get over it and get back up on my feet. I have had many rejections in life, especially lately, so I could most likely accept a couple more.

I have been receiving quite a number of offers from childcare. I know, my problem would have been solved easily if I had joined a preschool. But I’ve been so traumatised by the sector that I’ve been very reluctant to take it up again.

They don’t fulfill their ambitions. They simply show off on paper. They are only interested in making money.

Those are the conclusions I have derived from working with my former company.

Hence, that is why I am looking forward to a change in environment. Office work or retail or public service or tourist service.

I have learnt some restraint over the past five years but I am still a passionate person. So when my passion declined at the speed of light at my former workplace, I knew I had to get out of there. Still, even after leaving it, I was still tied to a sense of commitment, enough to tie up remaining loose ends.

Maybe that is why it is quite difficult for me to get a job. The competitiveness is mostly and usually based on paper results. Let’s face it, I am rather dumb in being book smart and rather gullible in being street smart.

The only thing I really have is a lot of heart.

I don’t have a lot but I still give my all.

Okay, I feel pumped enough to get on with life. May life be kinder for everyone reading this. Amin.

And Allah is Ar-Razzaaq, the Ever-Providing. – MM

I Ramble: 21 June 2017 part 2

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

Turns out I didn’t have to fly to TTSH later. Le fiancĂ© chose to be discharged as he saw that the hospital was crowded. What a lad.

Doctor’s orders: He is not allowed to fast. Got pills to pop in. Well, thankfully, we are only left with four days of Ramadhan. He will have to make up for his fast. I guess he can do so with me when he is all better in the future before next Ramadhan.

If anything, this incident made me realise that I don’t think I can deal with having him leave me alone in this world. Losing him would definitely bring me unimaginable pain and sorrow.

But at the same time, I am always reminded that I have no control over death by both Him and him. If it happens, I will have to take it in my stride but for as long as possible, I hope I don’t ever have to go through that. Even for my loved ones for that matter.

Gosh. I’m glad his test results came out good.

And Allah is Al-Wahhaab, the Bestower. – MM