I Ramble: 28 July 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I was thinking of discussing a difficult topic but I realised I may be well out of my depth to talk about it.

So I think I’ll just stick to what I know.

You see, I have this newfound friend who is going through a difficult time in his personal life. From the very first time he shared with me his story when we first met, I could already sense the grief he has about it. There was so much sorrow in the way he express it. On a certain level, even, it felt like he needed to talk to someone about it but didn’t have the opportunity to do so.

I may not be the brightest or prettiest or most talented or most popular. But I am certainly blessed with the gift of allowing people to feel comfortable to confide in me or share things about themselves with me, which they normally don’t even with their closed ones.

So today, to feel that sorrow again when I met him for business, affects me a bit. Made me rethink a lot of things that’s got to do with myself.

Made me think about how much more worn out he is yet there he is still hustling and here I am struggling to be energetic after a week of work. It’s an ugly truth but I should face it nonetheless: I get very self-absorbed when I’m tired. Moral of the story: Other people get tired too and their fatigue can actually be greater than mine. Be more considerate, Nurul Huda.

I feel very guilty and sorry for not pulling my weight more in the partnership. I’ll have to practice mindfulness in order to circumvent similar situations from happening again.

Another reason why I would need to step up more than ever in the partnership is to contribute in a personal way, my way of showing emotional support as a friend. I know this is a very sensitive period for him. Usually, I’m very carefree in my interactions with those of the opposite gender but I’ve been restricting myself from interacting freely with him. Why? Because people are dumb asses. There is a tendency for them to make assumptions, especially those from the negative camp. I think it’s wise to avoid generating fodder for the rumour mill. Girls, please take note; Yes, there is nothing between yourselves and your guy friend but think of the people around your guy friend. Be mindful of their situations and carry yourselves appropriately. I have seen some girls going around asserting their right to be friendly. Yes, it is your right but isn’t it also right to spare everyone including yourself the trouble by being proper in your interactions?

That’s just my two cents though.

So yeah, as much as I’d like to be all “Bruh, I’m here for you anytime” kinda thing, I can’t be that kind of friend. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a friend, right? There are many ways to be a good friend so working harder on the business, I feel, is a good way of showing brotherly support.

*fist bump*

Also, we are all too familiar with how student-looking I am so people may not feel the ‘engaged woman’ vibe from me. HAHAHAHA. So see, all the more I need to be careful in the way I carry myself.

I hope nobody at work has a crush on me. HAHAHAHA EH DON’T LAUGH, PLEASE! When le fiancé and I worked together for the warehouse sale part-time gig, a Bangladeshi worker had a crush on me, which I totally did not realise until le fiancé pointed it out to me HAHAHAHAHA! He even dropped his chicken while offering me food during lunch break and got laughed at by his friends. Poor chap. He was still sweet to me on the second day though. HAHAHAHA.

I miss working with Beedin. Hehehehe. Maybe one day, the both of us can work together again. Not necessarily job-wise but things like music collaborations, which we did successfully last year or making things like for our engagement gifts. Basically projects and stuff.

But of course, it will be nice to see him around at the workplace but he doesn’t fancy working at my workplace hahahaha.

Anybody wanna join me? Hahaha! I wouldn’t recommend it per se but I’m just saying it would be nice to see a familiar face around. Hehehe.

I hope everyone is in a better situation than myself and my friend. I’m not exactly in the worst situation but I’m struggling. I do not wish for anyone to go through what I went through.

But do not be mistaken. The both of us may be in turbulence in or own situations but we are at peace with ourselves.

And that’s a kind of happiness that people frequently long for but rarely find.

Be grateful, my friends.

Keep calm and support Street MOB Clothing. HAHAHAHAHA.

Eh, t-shirt idea sia. I should suggest that to him!

And Allah is Al-Halim, the Forbearing, the Indulgent. – MM