Metropolitan Muslimah

It is incredible how it takes a lot of time to build something and to create something, only to have it destroyed by a moment, a series of moments, or a chain reaction.

That much I learned about myself, about my failed marriage, and about my professional reputation.

It is tiresome, isn’t it? To always have to rebuild or to fix cracks… And it is just as tiresome to protect, especially when you feel like the only one doing so or you are indeed the only one doing so. I think, that much I have learned this year. Although it is one lesson, it is a lot to take in.

I’m just feeling retrospective as we reached the end of the year.

Also, because I’m struggling to understand, why the hell am I always feeling disrespected.

Is it my pride? Is it my ego? I thought I lost both when I lost my marriage. Essentially, I feel like I lost my entire life. Or maybe somehow as I began to rebuild my life, I was unknowingly rebuilding my pride as well?

Ya Rabb, ya Al-Quddus, help me out on this one.

I tried to get on with my life and admittedly I lost a little faith, no, actually, I lost a lot of faith, but it looks like the only source of help will forever only be you, ya Rabb, ya Al-Fattaah.

It is back to business with me tomorrow. New day, new me. Pain is temporary. It can be cured. And I will cure my pain.