Days In The Sun

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I had a tune idea right before I fell asleep at 2am yesterday. I tried to pin it down in midi format using the piano app and I tossed it to Shike.

I woke up to him yesterday having recorded a guitar riff and he asked me to try playing mine to his.

So I tried it out and that’s when Beedin heard it and joined in as well.

Thus this baby was born:

I feel like I’ve achieved something in life although I played a teeny-weeny role in it and that it was only a 30-second clip. Still, I’m proud of it!

Another thing that I’m proud of is I finally finished creating my friend’s website. Head on over to 4V77V and support it! Buy a t-shirt! Haha!

It feels good to be productive.

It feels better to receive compliments that I don’t expect to get; that I’m passionate, enthusiastic, and resourceful.

It feels great to know that two people in total would like me to be part of their separate business teams.

It’s crazy.

I didn’t have to try to impress or sell my skills. I was just myself. I just wanted to help.

It’s crazier that once upon time, I was spat on like a piece of scum and my worth was never measured up to simply because I am nothing like the preferred lifeless art forms.

So there was never anything wrong with me.

I am… justified?

Vindicated.

I hope that I can continue to be this good person that I am.

And be even better in the future.

I think all of this came at the right time, right when I’m trying to identify myself as an individual. I feel like a jack of all trades, master of none. I know now that it is an asset and not a total flaw. I’ve been trying to figure out if I’m more creative or resourceful.

I guess we’ve locked it down that I’m both now.

I took this test: https://www.16personalities.com/.

This is my result:

And after reading up on my strengths and weaknesses, it all makes sense now. Hahaha. I would say that for me, being resourceful comes with me being creative, having to look out for ways to address an issue or solve a problem.

I can definitely use the word to describe myself now — creative.

Achievement unlocked.

And Allah is Al-Muhsi, The Accounter. – MM

A Little WFH Jam

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Working from home has been difficult for me. No motivation and plenty of distractions!

So here’s a jam for all of us suckers who have to keep on working from home or if you are one of the brave ones, at the frontlines now! Essential services are still frontlines in my eyes. ❤

There ain’t no rest for the wicked. Money don’t grow on trees. I’ve got bills to pay. I’ve got mouths. There ain’t nothing in this world for free. I know I can’t slow down. I can’t hold back though you know, I wish I could. There ain’t no rest for the wicked until we close our eyes for good.

Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked by Cage The Elephant

And Allah is Al-Hamid, The Praised One. – MM

How Am I Busier?

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I’m currently not really sympathising with people who are getting bored being stuck at home due to the coronavirus situation. To be honest, I’m enjoying being home a lot more than normal people do. But I think we have established by now that I am not normal. Hehe.

I also find that there are so many things to do so I’m never bored.

First, I am on standby notice, which means I am expected to work as and when the company activates me every Monday to Thursday from 8am to 6.30pm and to 5.30pm on Fridays.

Second, I was asked to create a website for a friend so that will easily occupy my time.

Third, I was posed a musical challenge of having to record myself performing a song. As mentioned in a previous post, I am attempting to play a song using a guitar while singing.

Fourth, I am focusing on my diet and exercise in order to lose some weight as my BMI indicated that I am mildly obese. *gasps*

Fifth, I am in the mood for some Borderlands. I have finished playing Borderlands: Game of the Year Enhanced Edition and Borderlands 2 main story. I will just have to conquer Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel and finally take on Borderlands 3.

Sixth, there is always the house to take care of. Cleaning, chores, and miscellaneous stuff involved including trying to survive an upstairs neighbour from hell.

Seventh, my mum is asking me to bake so I will definitely take some time looking for a recipe I can work on as well as buy the ingredients and equipment online since the stocks in stores are limited.

Eighth, I really want to establish that musical routine I have mentioned in a previous post and just develop more holistically.

Ninth, Netflix all day errrday. Haha! I’m currently hooked onto Car Masters: Rust to Riches! Can’t wait for the second season of Rust Valley Restorers too!

Tenth, Ramadan is coming… prepare yerselves!

And Allah is Al-Walii, The Protecting Associate. – MM

We Are (Rock) Stars

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

So my bandmate, Shike, came up with this great challenge of recording yourself playing music yesterday. His was a keyboard+vocal cover of ‘Make You Feel My Love’, originally by Bob Dylan but covered by many artists, especially by the ones we all know, Adele.

Duc responded with a bass cover of ‘You Are The Universe’ by The Brand New Heavies.

Teck didn’t do a drums cover but he sang ‘What Are Words’ by Chris Medina.

So now it’s just Beedin and I left to complete it.

I’m not sure what he has in mind. I thought I’d duet with him but he has been knee-deep in his game creation that it’s hard to tear him away from his project. I couldn’t even get him to help me out with the strumming pattern of a song I decided to play on the guitar anyway.

Men…and when they’re too focused. Hmph.

Looks like I’ll have to do this on my own and figure things out by myself.

The song I chose is ‘We Are Stars’ by The Pierces. Particularly the acoustic version that impressed me more than the record version:

I have pretty much gotten a hang of the chords used. Very simple. Without the solo that is. I’ll just stick to the simple strumming during the solo. But the strumming pattern is a challenge for me to grasp. It gets worse when I tried to sing while strumming at the same time. My strumming kept wanting to follow my vocals, which throws me off everytime.

Nonetheless, I will continue to have a go at it.

I have to keep on taking breaks in between trying out since my fingers aren’t seasoned. They’re hurting but the pain is bearable. I have gotten a hang of when I need to stop, mostly when it gets too painful to press down the strings that my playing just goes tits.

I will just have to persevere a bit more. I think the outcome will still be rubbish but you know, at least I put in some effort.

And Allah is Al-Mateen, The Firm. – MM

If Love Won’t Grow, Then I Will by Nurul Huda

Love is not painful

But the act of sacrificing is

Very much so

It consumes you until you choke

No choice but to take all

The broken pieces of my heart

And bury them like seeds

Deep into the ground

And water them with my tears

With the hope that someday the love will grow

But I will never know

If it takes years for a tree to grow

Then how could I wait for something that may or may not show

Soft is the earth I touch

But softer is my broken heart

Bitter is the taste

Of sadness that lingers

Like the aroma of rain

It never leaves me the same

If love won’t grow then I will

I will have to

Be bigger than I am today

As a person

With a broken soul that’s drifting away

I must get it back!

I must live!

If I want to see the seasons change

And maybe I will get to see

If the forgotten love had finally grown into a tree

Even if it doesn’t

I know that I am free

From the misery I once buried

Deep in me

If love won’t grow then I will

Different Stories

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I was going through my spam mail when I came across an email saying that the sender knows I used someone’s messenger handle as one of my passwords. The sender then went on to threaten to upload videos of me watching porn of I don’t send him bitcoins.

Lol.

Anyway, the point was the scammer mentioned a username that I have let go from my mind for some time simply because there was too much hurt behind the entire remembrance of the person.

So when it popped up out of nowhere, of course, I felt something.

“I’ve locked the door… deep inside… different memories.”

So when that door was knocked, of course I was a little startled.

Memories, no matter how good or bad, shaped me to what I am now.

Which reminds me: I bumped into my former crush at workplace before late last year I think. He was with his wife and baby. He was glad to see me.

And I was glad too.

Maybe, one day, that can happen for us, when the good overrides the bad.

And I will be glad too.

And Allah is Al-Qawi, The Possessor of All Strength.

What Has Changed But Keeps Changing?

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I think my brain feels fresh enough to give this post a title in the form of a cool riddle.

Off the top of my head, the answer is life but I feel that other suitable answers are also acceptable. Like water for instance, sometimes in varying states depending on the temperature.

I hope that everybody is coping well with the recent change to Singapore’s educational and workforce situations. I must admit I am one of the lucky few who firstly, get to keep their jobs and secondly, get to keep their salary and finally, get some relief from the government.

Only those whom I trust knows my exact situation and how so much hinges on my day job. So this is a huge relief for me.

Kind souls have been asking, “So whatchu gonna do with all these free time?”

Without a single trace of guilt, I said I would:

  • Play games
  • Bake
  • Write more lyrics, heck, maybe even write a complete song by myself
  • Clean the house until it is guest-ready
  • Workout until I can return to work sexy

In fact, for the last bit, I’m on a little #StayHomeStayFit challenge whereby my colleague and I will see who returns to the workplace slimmer. Hahaha!

Look, I believe in getting bigger clothes as my weight increases but getting more clothes is not a viable option for me spatially at home and more importantly, not economically wise right now. So in order to keep on fitting in my current clothes, I gotta shed some weight. Also, due to my BMI, I actually am mildly obese right now. I don’t look fat, at least not to me lol, but the ratio of my height to my weight suggests differently. :/

So with that in order, some resilience and a whole lot more of rock-and-roll, let’s ride this out together.

I can’t buy you a lamborghini and a ducati but I can afford you some wit with a little bit of giggles here and there but mostly a listening ear if don’t feel like being talked to all the time.

God knows we are all done being talked to. Sometimes, we just need somebody to hear us out and the weight we carry around becomes less heavy for a little while.

Oh, I digressed. I actually wanted to flex that I am wide awake earlier than I usually would be on an off day. And I slept at 2am to boot! That is all to be honest. Hahahaha!

Must be the toll of the daily work grind on me. Sheesh.

Love you all to bits!

Here’s my favourite AC/DC song for such a great morning!

And Allah is Al-Wakil, The Trustee. – MM

City Lights by Nurul Huda

Turn on, turn off

Turn off my heart tonight

Looking for another way out

Turn on, turn off

Turn off the light tonight

Looking for somebody to save me from myself

From myself

Save me from myself

From myself

Save me from myself

Burn bright just like the city tonight

Switch on, switch off

Switch off my mind tonight

Searching for a conversation

Switch on, switch off

Switch off the light tonight

Searching for somebody to save me from you

From you

Save me from you

From you

Save me from you

Burn up, burn bright, just like the city

I showed my scars to the world

But all I get are salted wounds

I shoved myself into the corner of the room

I would kill the city lights

If I weren’t so drunk tonight

And I would kill the city lights

If I wasn’t so dark inside

%

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

My bandmate, Shike, ‘visited’ me at work yesterday. Lol. It was great fun. I have always enjoyed having friends come see me. It makes a typical long day of work shorter and they make me forget all about the workplace for a moment.

Tried out some fancy Arabica coffee for the first time thanks to Shike and I must say, it is a far cry from my usual mocha coffees. I didn’t know what to expect and to be honest, I didn’t know exactly what it should taste like. Lol. I think Reena will appreciate the atas coffee more. I should jio her there for our 30 min break or something one day…whilst there isn’t a queue!

The main takeaway from the conversations yesterday is that the grass ain’t always greener on the other side.

Regardless of the depths of your pockets and your knowledge, if the world is going to fuck you up, it will do so anyway. What differentiates a person is their character: the ability to bounce back and get back on their feet after being beaten down.

I think I have been stomping on myself for so long that I have forgotten that I am capable of more than what I am doing now.

It’s good to be humble but it’s not good to keep on debasing yourself.

I don’t know what I am for now and I don’t exactly know what I want to be but I know I want to be the better version of me.

So when someone reminded me unexpectedly of the person I used to be, I’d better listen.

And Allah is Al-Haqq, The Truth. – MM