Peaky Blinders Season 1 Episode 1; I Relay: 26 June 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Finally am making myself get around to rewatching while text-commenting on one of my favourite television shows, Peaky Blinders.

Doing a reaction video is not feasible due to copyright-related issues so I am doing a text reaction of sorts. If I get too lazy, I might just add in a little opinion or two. Hopefully, I will stick to this because we all know how easily I drop a project. Ha! All of my Peaky Blinders post from here on will contain spoilers so stop reading if you would rather start off the series as a virgin audience. Just a disclaimer before I proceed: Thoughts are mine alone and I may always be wrong because interpretations I made are based on what I know and my knowledge may always be limited or flawed. I am always happy to open my mind to better ideas.

Oh! And this seriously has got to be my longest blog post…ever. I don’t blame ya if ya stopped reading. It’s too long! But there was just too much to unpack!

Contains spoilers. Click to read more.
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June Bujo Setup; I Plan: 20 June 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Ha! I am 10 days away from the end of June and I am finally posting my June bullet journal setup! Lousy!

Anyway, now that I finally managed to do so, I think I like the look of the second weekly log. Seems most fitting with the theme of fast food because it had the menu vibe to it. I might revert to it but with better aesthetic. I am getting way too lazy for my own good.

Yes, I am experimenting with the weekly log layouts and I seem to be zoning into daily log layout at this rate. I am not sure what works best for me: to-do lists, time-framed schedules, side trackers, and more.

Today has mostly been unproductive but as you can see, I have started to kick my butt a little with just taking the initiative to start something. Be it cleaning or journalling or even blogging, I think I just got to get in gear by just starting something somewhere.

I think listing 10 most important things to do is tiresome. I think I will stop using the current layout and create a better one for Wednesday onwards. It is not as functional for me as it may be for others, I reckon. Maybe I will revert to time frames or copy a pre-existing layout on the web. There are so many to choose from.

Just a side note: I discovered the joy of doodling. I just wish I had more patience to doodle. I think my cola and fries doodles will definitely turn out better if I had the willpower to make them aesthetically pleasing. Those are pretty easy to doodle so you may want to try them out if you feel like doing easy ones.

And Allah is Al-Haleem, The Most Forbearing. – MM

I Relay: 5 June 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

It has been more than a month since I blogged here! I have been pretty busy. It was always a case of either no energy or no time!

However, I am trying to get back on track. Life is financially hard right now and the only stresses in my life right now is money and my self-growth. Otherwise, I am pretty happy.

Anyway, I will share my bullet journal setup in a separate post. For today, I want to share the following video and my thoughts on it.

I am surprised by people’s genuine interest in Islam. Given the negative portrayals of Islam, you would think that people in general would not even want to entertain even a shadow of a thought about it. Instead, there are people who are keen to have their questions addressed and curiosity satiated.

People clearly struggle with the knowledge of the beauty of Islam and the knowledge of malpractice and misdeeds that happened supposedly in the name of Islam.

This sort of internal conflict in one’s mind actually makes it easier to open up the person to exploring the discourse of the conflicting ideas. If this discourse occurs without the specialty or proper guidance of an expert, it can easily sway the person to misconstrue ideas based only on what they believe or understand.

A key takeaway for me from the video is about how an act of kindness is considered as worship. It acts as a great reminder for me. I think I kept looking at worship as something that I do not have any choice in. It became somewhat a burden. That was never supposed to be the case. I am supposed to be — and this was mentioned in the video — in remembrance of God. In whatever I do and however I live my life, I should always do everything in remembrance of God.

Easier said than done, yeah? Such is our fallacy of human beings. We seek His help when we are in need and when we do not, we tend to forget Him. We keep thinking that our achievements are ours. That whatever comes to us is the result of our hard work. What we do not understand is that nothing will happen if it is not for His will and permission. If He does not allow us to have a good life, we will never have it. Some evil people seem to have the good life but we forget that this life is merely temporary and a test. He chose to give them a good life temporarily, keeping the doors of repentance open because He loves his servants. However, once their doors of repentance are closed, those evil people will not have a good Afterlife, which is permanent.

I hope this video is helpful to those who have the same questions as those in the video. Trust me, even Muslims have the same questions as non-Muslims. It is not about the lack of faith but more so the lack of education and accessibility to such resources due to lack of time, money, and lack of home support, etcetera.

Let us keep learning and keep growing as healthy intellectual individuals.

And Allah is Al-Khabeer, the All-Aware. – MM

Setting Up May 2022; I Plan: 1 May 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Firstly, Happy Labour Day! I hope that all you hard workers out there, some still working today, will have a blessed day ahead!

Secondly, I almost forgot to set up my May bullet journal!

Very simple designs this time round. I realise that I need variable space for my daily logs so I decided not to go for the fixed weekly spaced kind of template. I did, however, try to draw inspiration from artists online and found this particularly interesting doodle. So of course I had to try it out but I did it in my own style!

The inspiration

Hers definitely look lovelier now that I am looking at her reel again. I only had one look at it a day before doing my May setup. Explains why mine is pretty off from the original. Poor memory!

Yeah, my art and design skills still need a lot of work. I am happy to keep practising through my bujo though!

And Allah is Al-Lateef, The Most Gentle. – MM

End of April, End of Ramadan Soon; I Ramble: 30 April 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Hola! Yo yo yo.

If you have not caught wind of it yet, well, I have COVID again! For the second time!

Lies we have been told about this virus, seriously.

Unfortunately for me, when my husband contracted it a week ago, I contracted it as well. He was lucky enough to have eluded it when I first had it last year. Why could I not have the same luck? Could have made some money now that our livelihood depends on our ability to earn. Tsk tsk.

So that kind of surmises Ramadan for me. I learnt that perfection is not the key to Ramadan. It is patience. We so often think that it is all about being the best Muslim, maintaining the good habits we have planned out for a highly successful Ramadan, and ensuring we made good planning to secure all that. However, what happens when our perfect plans get screwed up? What if we were thrown a curveball in life? Does the perfect Ramadan only exist for Muslims in perfect circumstances? Is a successful Ramadan equivalent to a perfect Ramadan?

Hence, given all that has happened this month, the opportunities to do good that I have squandered, the time I have wasted, the things I had to go through and endure, I must say that this has been quite a haphazard Ramadan for me. I thought I could end strong but it looks like I could only end weakly with this virus living inside me now. The virus itself is only one of the many diseases residing in my body right now. I have a lot to work on.

Still, I will be patient and finish it as well as I can, even if I cannot finish it strongly.

I am still working on fixing my relationship with Allah. The ‘A’ that I need to prioritise before my ‘A’. It is tricky because sometimes I have to prioritise my ‘A’ in prioritising the ‘A’. It is all about defining the priorities. If you cannot be clear on what they are, that’s where you feel lost in life. You do not know which direction to head towards. I want to be smarter in prioritising.

Well, today is a day of reality check. It has been 72 hours since I tested positive so if I test negative today, I can be released back into the world. LOL. If not, I will have to check on Day 7 at 12pm, which is on Eid itself. Sucks, right? Haha. Happy CovEID to my husband and I!

Besides that, I need to jump back on this bandwagon called life.

I do not know why I have this sense of being disrespected. I have this tingling feeling that someone or some people out there have been disrespecting me. It could also be possible that I have been squashing out whatever form of disrespect I have experienced over the years that I finally imploded and am only feeling all that now.

I find it disrespectful when women come in between myself and my good men. This has happened multiple times in my life. Of course, while it could always be a play of fate, I always like to take a little bit of responsibility at least. I allowed myself to be disrespected by these women. I have decided I do not want anymore of that.

I find it disrespectful when men decided I am not good enough for anything under the sun. This has happened so many times in my life that it is almost rhetorical sometimes, the way things would end up. Again, while the circumstances may not be favourable for me, I had allowed myself to be disrespected by these men. I have decided I do not want anymore of that as well.

I have a lot of work to do. I realise the playing field will never ever be level. If I want to play the game, I have to play at the level they dictate before I am able to gain control of the game and switch it to my tempo instead.

I do not want to play the game but if I do not, I will forever be disrespected. Playing the game is tiring but I am more tired of being disrespected at this point.

Just gotta keep working.

And Allah is Al-‘Adl, The Utterly Just. – MM

Wasted Day; I Ramble: 24 April 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

I think I slept from 2.30am to 6.30pm today. I could not really remember at exactly what time I fell asleep. I only remember waking up with the worst backache and getting really confused as to whether I had woken up at 6.30am or was it really 6.30pm.

That makes it 16 hours of my hibernation. I did not know that a simple sore throat pill could knock me out cold like that. Maybe it was a multitude of factors besides feeling ill such as feeling beat from travelling 3 hours a day for work. Such as doing house chores after work in the evenings. Maybe my body is trying to fight my husband’s COVID so hard that it used up whatever energy I have left.

I only know that I did not enjoy missing out on 16 hours of time I could have spent working on my projects.

And that just sends me on a downward spiral from there. I feel lethargic and I do not feel like I am up for anything much right now except to just kick back. It is not healthy, definitely.

But my body is not cooperating with whatever instructions my mind is yelling at it.

I do not know how to treat this. Do I take it as an off day? Am I allowed to rest this much? Am I entitled to rest this much? Or am I supposed to feel guilty? To wallow in self-pity? Such a familiar taste of poison.

If there is anything Ramadan has taught me, it is not about how you started. Sure, it helps your chances. You get an advantage for starting off anything well. However, it is also about how you finish. The unpronounced mercy from our Maker – redemption. We all crave redemption. Even heroes. Even heroes are prone to mistakes and most certainly look for redemption when they make mistakes.

With about eight more days of Ramadan left, and boy, has it whizzed by, what can I do to redeem myself from the wrongs I have committed? Get me out of my slump, please.

That is just it, is it not? We all have to be our own heroes because in the end, we have to face things all alone once soul is separated from body. In that moment, we each know what we had done.

A, sometimes I really wish you would discipline me more. But we both know that if you do that, I might feel like I am less of my own person. And we both know how important it is to me that I feel like I am my own person. It is why you married me in the first place. I am my own person.

And so I should start saving myself.

And I can do that.

Because I am my own person.

And Allah is Al-Hakam, The Impatial Judge. – MM

Book Selection; I Read: 22 April 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Hello! I kinda promised myself that I would pick up a book to read during Ramadan. I feel like I have not been feeding my intellect. Decided to go on a whim and just browse through the national digital library. And this is what I picked up.

How To Explain To Your Children, How To Handle And Save Money by Thorsten Hawk

I was thinking that this might help me sort out my finances. I have the mind of a child when it comes to finance. I just do not deal well with numbers.

Going to read a chapter tonight and I might just blog about my progress as I go along.

And Allah is Al-Baseer, The All-Seeing. – MM