Tag: 2022

Hello, July 2022; I Ramble: 1 July 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Yooooooooooo….itta meeeeee….

How was your first day of July? Today was a pretty hectic day of work. I’m really tired out by the day’s load. I’m very upset that I missed out on my first two obligatory prayers. Going to really get back to waking up at 5am because that has been my goal since foreverrrr! I still have another 6 months of the year to cement the routine of waking up at 5am. My problem is that I’m always thinking, “What the hell am I doing waking up at 5am? My body is crying out for sleep!”

So I really want to achieve that. I believe once I can achieve that, I can pretty much achieve everything else because things will just fall into place once I am consistent with the time I create for myself and once I am consistent with my daily prayers. It’s that easy to be honest. Just a matter of executioning the plan.

As you can see, I only managed to do 5 of the 10 things I wanted to do. To be fair, I took longer than I anticipated to iron our clothes for a wedding tomorrow because — get this — I had to clean the iron and the ironing board beforehand. That’s how long they have been in storage. Geez. I was already tired from work and then I became even more tired out by the ironing shindig. Goodness. But oh, well. At least I managed to force myself to get 5 things done today. It feels like an accomplishment for me because I usually just don’t do anything when I feel tired. I’ll end up watching videos and playing games to just unwind. I definitely feel more productive today than I usually am so that’s good. I’m happy with that. Although it was not a great start to July 2022, it was a better start than previous starts. I will set tomorrow’s goals tomorrow, in the morning, because I want to approach the day with a fresher mind.

And Allah is Al-‘Alee, The Most Exalted. – MM

Advertisement

July Bujo Setup; I Plan: 30 June 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Determined not to repeat the mistake of setting up my bujo halfway through the month, I have prepared next month’s setup. Tada!

This month, I decided to do a full spread of the July calendar for easier reference. I tried to copy the design by the following journaller:

She used paint so I used water colour pencils. Of course, her design is nicer and she chose to do a cover and then her monthly log. I found that I do not need the bird’s eye view of the month. I just need a calendar I could easily refer to. After all, I had the yearly log set up earlier in the 2022 section of my bujo.

Then I did my weekly spread in the way that I feel will work for me. I amended certain aspects because I realised that not all tasks take the same amount of time. I learnt this the hard way when I did the blog post on Peaky Blinders’s pilot episode. I took 5 freaking days to complete it! Then that just knocked out my ability to keep up with my MITs and everything just went out of the window. That is why I have created a ‘Duration’ column for me to realise which tasks are mammoth and may need to be repeated on the following days before I can mark it as completed.

However, after looking at my design now, I realised I left no room for me to write down events and notes for the day. I think I will need to dedicate each day’s spread to an entire page for future days.

I should probably make some sort of attempt to make my daily spreads more pleasing but for now, I think my focus is on trying to create something that works for me.

And Allah is Ash-Shakoor, The Most Appreciative. – MM

June Bujo Setup; I Plan: 20 June 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Ha! I am 10 days away from the end of June and I am finally posting my June bullet journal setup! Lousy!

Anyway, now that I finally managed to do so, I think I like the look of the second weekly log. Seems most fitting with the theme of fast food because it had the menu vibe to it. I might revert to it but with better aesthetic. I am getting way too lazy for my own good.

Yes, I am experimenting with the weekly log layouts and I seem to be zoning into daily log layout at this rate. I am not sure what works best for me: to-do lists, time-framed schedules, side trackers, and more.

Today has mostly been unproductive but as you can see, I have started to kick my butt a little with just taking the initiative to start something. Be it cleaning or journalling or even blogging, I think I just got to get in gear by just starting something somewhere.

I think listing 10 most important things to do is tiresome. I think I will stop using the current layout and create a better one for Wednesday onwards. It is not as functional for me as it may be for others, I reckon. Maybe I will revert to time frames or copy a pre-existing layout on the web. There are so many to choose from.

Just a side note: I discovered the joy of doodling. I just wish I had more patience to doodle. I think my cola and fries doodles will definitely turn out better if I had the willpower to make them aesthetically pleasing. Those are pretty easy to doodle so you may want to try them out if you feel like doing easy ones.

And Allah is Al-Haleem, The Most Forbearing. – MM

Subdued; I Ramble: 21 April 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I am feeling pretty down now. I think the term ‘Ramadan Challenge’ has just taken its own course.

I did not even realise that we are past the halfway mark of the holy month. It seems surreal. At this point of the game, everyone is stepping up their efforts in a bid to meet Lailatul Qadr. That special night also known as the Night of Power, when supplications are accepted and highly rewarded, and your past sins forgiven.

And right when the bid for Lailatul Qadr is on, so did my personal Ramadan challenge that seemed to have been written for me.

My problems are starting to feel a little heavy but nothing too complex. They are just heavy in weight. I faced one of the problems before so I do not feel too emotionally overwhelmed and I faced another one many times before so I do not have too much fear from it. Then there are a few that are right smack in my face all along so they are not exactly my first rodeo.

Back to my Ramadan challenge. So basically, just when the race for Lailatul Qadr is about to start, my husband contracted COVID yesterday morning. I tested negative today but there is always a chance I might contract it as well although I should be immuned to it since I had it last November. However, mine was the Delta variant so I am not sure if there is a high chance of me getting the Omicron variant. Or is it Omicron XE now?

It came as a surprise. We have always thought that my husband is forever immuned from COVID seeing how he did not get infected when I had it. We practically live in a shoebox and share a toilet. Like how did he not get it with me that time? Haha.

So what I am feeling right now is exactly the same as what I felt when he broke his ankle; alone. Coincidentally, a key personnel from my personal support network has just flown out of the country for months-long respite. I mean, just how much louder can The Maker’s challenge be conveyed to me? He is really telling me, “YEP, YE ARE ON YER OWN, LADY”.

Yes, it is veritable that The Maker is extremely jealous. He does not like it when I attach myself to people more than to him. So right now, He is showing his jealousy by making me feel the exact same feeling that would steer me towards Him. It is indeed a familiar feeling that I recognised it almost immediately.

Of course, it comes without saying that as long as my husband is ill, there is no income coming in. I cannot do our usual deliveries without the driver and he is my deignated driver. Haha. I am just a coordinator. Thankfully though, The Maker gave me a little way out of that hole by moving the hearts of our friends to employ me in supporting their operations. I will be paid hourly while my husband is out of work. Of course, I will need to test myself everyday before I head out as assurance. I will keep my mask on as added measure.

Something is better than nothing.

Want to know something else interesting? I have just asked myself two days ago why exactly am I in a marriage that has not been meeting one of my many many needs. And just like that, poof, tada! Husband gets COVID. And out of that comes another familiar feeling; responsible. Whether I like it or not, whether I want to or not, I have been placed by The Maker in positions that come with a lot of responsibilities throughout my entire life; being a student, being a teacher, being a supervisor, being the eldest daughter and sister, being a wife, and probably on a whole lot more occasions than I actually realise.

The real reason I resigned is because I just want to be selfish and just do whatever I want to do but even that went south because The Maker decided I have to be responsible. I have to always push away any and all selfish needs of mine because He wants me to be responsible.

So this is His way of showing me how much this marriage needs me, which is just as much as how I need this marriage in order for me to stay responsible.

The higher you ascend, the heavier the crown. That is what my mind has just come up with.

That feeling you get when you get the heavy things off your chest. The darker the hour, the heavier the thoughts. I am on a philosophical roll here!

I can close that topic now. I am now in the mood for another more persistent load I have been carrying around. It is about my body image and body issues and basically the entire package of it.

Trust me, I am comfortable in my skin but I am just not enjoying how I look right now. I realise now I feed off the power I feel from enjoying looking good. It has been difficult trying to feel attractive when constantly wearing masks has damaged the mask-wear areas on my face and now I think I am at my heaviest of 62.6kg.

I believe developing the look that I want is one of my goals this year. It has been hard to commit to caring for myself. I do not know anything about proper skincare, good makeup fixes, refuse to buy clothes just to flatter my current bodyline (I much rather lose the damn weight and wear the clothes I have, plus it is more economical that way), refuse to adopt effective exercises, and I do not know how to start preparing balanced meals for my husband and I when we do not have the budget for superfoods.

Tough.

There. It is all out there now. I feel less burdened and more subdued now. Today is another day and another chance at meeting my goals.

Just be brave, Huda. You have dealt with this before. You are a seasoned player. The games do not get easier. They are just different each time. And you season with time. (Spotted a potential pun here: Season with thyme. LOL.)

And Allah is As-Samee’, The All-Hearing. – MM

Oy, 2022! I Plan: 3 January 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful.

Hello! How has the holidays been for you? It was mostly work for me so nothing about it felt like any sort of holiday. But that’s life as a working class man like me.

I have promised myself that I will change my life this year. But that determination was nowhere to be found two days ago. Ha! Woke up very late in the afternoon with a headache, which led to me downing multiple cups of caffeine and going to bed only at 2am.

I was just sorta thankful that Syuruk is after 7am so I could somewhat sneak that usual 4-5 hour sleep in. Not good because I should be making an effort for tahajud and then making it for Subuh from the very first minute.

It is all about priorities and clearly, I have been like any normal human being, wrapped up in the illusions projected by this world.

Choices are easy to make but the follow-up actions are always hard to execute.

A lot of people have been giving a retrospective of their past year and the prospective of their new year goals. Let’s review the success of my 2021 planning before we jump into the my 2022 planning.

Retrospective:

I like to use simple traffic light colour coding nowadays. Red for not achieved, amber for somewhat achieved, and green for achieved.

I did not achieve any of my 2021 goals.

But that does not mean my year was a complete failure.

  • I feel like I read the Quran in the morning more than I have had in my past. But I kind of dropped the ball recently as I go into 2022. I think I would like to revise this goal for 2022.
  • Although I did not exercise every Monday and although I gained weight instead, I ran, for the first time in my life, the most in a single year! And I even got two medals out of running!
  • I did not get to fully konmari the house because I do not have the energy of a childless housewife. However, we managed to clear a lot of things out of the storeroom and we managed to revamp one room into our own music studio.
  • Although SMC has not generated any profits for me, it is actually a viable business because the setting up is done. I just need to put actual time and effort into it to make it a success.

Prospective:

I have realised over the course of my life that as much as I want to do everything in life, I really just cannot. There are only a few things you can focus at one time and that is okay. I had to keep telling myself that it is okay.

Even at work now I keep telling myself to let things go. Always consciously having to tell myself that there is no need to go the distance and to just lay back. I did not know it was that hard to be honest. Working 200% has become so natural that it became awkward to operate at 50%.

I even knocked my eye socket bone against a metal bar yesterday in a bid to get things done quickly. It hurts whenever I touch it. From experience of dropping a metal frame on my foot, I think it will hurt for a very, very, very long time. I think I got a hairline fracture on my foot bone so I will not be surprised if I get a hairline fracture on my eye socket bone. Ugh.

And no, I’m not going to bother to claim compensation. Money does not mean anything to me.

I hope to achieve my goals. Let’s begin!

And Allah is Al-Malik, The Eternal Lord.