I Interview: Hello, Husband! Part 1

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I was inspired by my old post whereby I interviewed myself based on question from Seventeen magazine. I was thinking about whether I should interview myself again and compare new answers to my old ones but I decided to forgo it because what better way to introduce le husband to the world than to conduct an interview? And hey, I may just have found the inspiration needed for a vlog!

I’ll see if I can do a vlog with him but if he refuses, then I shall attack him with my barrage of burning questions! Well, not really, but just enough for you guys to know him on the surface.

So before I go all out to interview him, I need to prepare some questions, of course as the following:

  1. Can you tell us a little about yourself?
  2. What are your goals?
  3. What is your favourite book?
  4. What are the common job interview questions you come across?
  5. Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?
  6. What are your strengths?
  7. Why did you marry Baeda?
  8. Can you share with us a little bit about your work history?
  9. What is the minimum salary you think a Singaporean should receive?
  10. Are you a punctual person?
  11. If you were stuck on a desert island, what would you want to have with you?
  12. Do you prefer to shop online or in a store?
  13. What is your favourite hangout spot?
  14. Have you ever been to the emergency room?
  15. What is your preferred method of contacting someone?
  16. What weird food combinations do you like?
  17. Are you a risk taker?
  18. Would you rather be the smartest moron or the dumbest genius?

He would definitely say that all those questions are super loso. Whatever that means. HAHAHAHA!

Wish me luck!

And Allah is Al-Mu’min, the Guardian of Faith. – MM

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I Ramble: 15 December 2017

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

Hi there! Nothing much happened for the past 30 mins of 15 December. Just that I’ve begun a new hair and facial routine. It’s getting more real now that I’m going to be a bride in less than five months from now so I really have to start prepping my skin for the big day.

Other wedding-related updates will be that we have secured the date, time, and solemniser for our wedding last night. I didn’t get my top three choices and I guess, it was meant to be that I had to choose someone quickly yet at the end of it, I feel rather satisfied with my choice. So Alhamdulillah for that.

In case if you’re wondering who it is, I managed to pull a snippet out of MUIS’s ADIL’s website.

It’s sort of a full circle for us because le fiance really wants to go to Kaplan to pursue a diploma in IT and that man graduated with one albeit in a different field. I went to PERGAS before, which led me to frequenting Masjid Kassim a lot back then and that man is an Imam there.

Like I said, perhaps it was meant to be.

So that’s another matter settled. It’s like we’re dealing with one matter every month nowadays. Next month, we’ll be heading to ROMM for document verification and statutory declaration. Basically they really want to ensure that we are who we claim to be and that we are within the right frame of mind for marriage. Forced marriages are a no-no in Islam so they will ask the bride if she really wants to marry the groom and vice versa. They are also particular about the person marrying the bride off, in my case, my father. He also needs to be of sound mind and judgment. They also want to ensure that polygamy doesn’t happen without the knowledge and consent of the women involved, especially. Hence, the need to declare our status clearly and truthfully. For those who have to pay maintenance to their ex-wives, they also have to declare the amount and produce the divorce certification. Marriage is a huge responsibility in Islam so it is pertinent that both sides are made aware of each other’s backgrounds and that both sides are willing to be married and are under no compulsion and the marriage has to be officiated and witnessed by mentally sound people who resonate the religion’s ethos.

So that’s that. A little bit of information for all to know about Muslim marriages. Well, at least for the ones in Singapore.

On to other updates in my life…

I am sad to say… I haven’t been doing anything I planned to do. Yep. I will admit that.

I have also yet to touch my now-super-dusty Quran. Huhu.

HOWEVER!

For some reason, I have become very thirsty lately, especially when I have my menses. So I’m happy to say that I have been drinking at least one cup of plain water! Huzzah!

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I’m hoping to increase my intake of plain water to two cups next month!

Speaking of habits, I really want to have more time. How do I get more time? By waking up early.

I used to be good at it. Setting resolutions in 2016 really helped me a lot. But for some reason, I just lost the momentum.

Well, actually, admittedly, after I got to know Beedin, all routines just went out of the window. HAHAHA! That’s because we were staying up all night talking, getting to know each other. We still talk at night quite frequently during his break time since he’s working as a Night Filler and I often get the closing shift, reaching home late enough to stay up for a chance to talk to him.

Buuuuut if I want to have great skin, I need my beauty sleep on top of increasing my plain water intake. I decided to go for a little motivation from YouTube:

I like the way she presented the topic. Really easy for me to relate and it’s useful and insightful. Props to her.

So now that I’ve gotten all the tips, the only thing left to decide is the time to wake up.

Because I’ve been struggling with the wake-up time, especially now that I’m working shifst. 5am is just not realistic if I work closing shift. On the other hand, I can’t afford to wake up at 6am if I’m working the opening shift because I need to be out of the house by then! For herself, she varies her wake-up time on weekdays and weekends. Should I do that too; vary my alarms according to my shifts? Or is it perennially better to set a constant alarm to acclimatise my body to a routine?

I think I’ll try the dual timings. The problem with setting a constant alarm is that my mind will go, “WTF WHY AM I WAKING UP EARLY WHEN I’M WORKING LATER ON IN THE DAY, I WILL BE DAMN EXHAUSTED”. And then I wouldn’t wake up early. And then it’s back to square one of lousy habits/routines.

So the timings will be 5am for opening shifts and 6am for closing shifts and off days.

Okay, so that’s settled then!

In order to see if this will work out, stay tuned for a post from me later at 6am onwards! It’s 1:35am now. I should be able to get some sleep. Laters!

And Allah is Al-Matin, the Steadfast. – MM

I Ramble: 6 December 2017 part 2

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

So… FB pulled up an old post for me:

sookee

Apparently that was what I wanted for Christmas five years ago…2012. I find it very interesting that my wedding band is a far cry from my favourite aspects of jewellery. I like silver more than gold and I love diamonds. I especially love intricate designs because the creative side of me appreciates unique stuff. Guess what my wedding band is like?

Yes. A complete opposite of everything that I want in a jewellery. It’s gold and plain. However, it has more value compared to the rings that I would naturally prefer because it contains actual gold in it! When I was choosing my wedding ring, I was mostly thinking about having a safety net for my future family finances. What if one day we were both of out money and we needed to feed our children? So that was how I settled into the idea of buying a plain gold ring.

Image result for golden chance gold ring

I can actually feel the weight of the gold. We opted for about 5.9 grammes of gold. I actually love it although it is the antithesis of everything that I like in a ring! But yup, as much as possible, no matter how desperate we get, I hope this never gets sold off. Too precious and symbolic! Even if we were to sell it off, it’s to upgrade to a more valuable ring! Hehehe!

Whenever I look at my ring, it makes me think about how far we’ve come from being in the pits of poverty (we were pretty damn poor, ask Nora), to getting in a more comfortable zone.

Believe me, it’s not easy being resilient in times of financial hardship. Given the type of person I am, impulsive and to some extent, impatient, it’s quite a wonder that Beedin and I managed to survive a year of financial struggles. We’re still struggling but it’s not as bad as how it used to be. Alhamdulillah.

I just want to thank everyone for being patient with us and for continuing to be patient with us.

And Allah is Malik-al-Mulk, the Guardian of Empowerment. – MM

I Ramble: 5 November 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I swear I’m turning into a minah at this rate. 😂

Look at the pic collage I made of me and le fiancé!

We really need to take more photos as a couple together.

Can’t believe it, we’re coming close to a year. Just last year today, we were at my old workplace setting up for the play.

Sighs.

He is soooo dreamy. Lubdub lubdub!

And Allah is Ar-Rahman, the All-Compassionate.

I Ramble: 26 October 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

Yo! So it’s been like a month since I’ve blogged. Whut.

That just shows how insanely tired out from work I have been.

I mean a five-day work week sounds like a good deal but when you’re dealing with long hours and long streaks of working days, oh, you’ll definitely feel the burn.

Bloody hell, I’m just gaining more weight than losing them.

And more fats than muscles when I carry loads and go up and down the stairs.

What’s going on?!

Well, Danial would say, it’s because I don’t drink water.

Le fiance will most definitely agree with that.

I think everyone in the world will agree to that.

But no joke seh. One of the six basic policies of UNIQLO is that you have to be quick and energetic.

Do that for like nine hours a day, five days a week, and let me know how it is for you.

On the other hand, it feels good whenever people and other companies admit that our service is tip top.

Because bloody hell, we have to always put in a good shift, so it better pay off! Hahahaha!

I’m blogging because… my fiance can’t talk to me right now!

He has started work! Yup yup! As a permanent full-time Night Filler at Giant. Hehe. However, he’s currently not stationed at the Giant near his house. He’s attached to a training centre instead, but still luckily close to his home, and he’s not on night shift yet. He ends at 10pm today. So I’m just killing some time while waiting for him.

I guess this is how it feels for him when waiting for me to end work?! Hehehe. It’s so agonising!

I wonder how he deals with it when I work long hours…especially when I don’t contact him during both of my break times…and especially when I end late at night too. Huhu.

I miss my baybee so much huhu.

YES, I ADMIT. I’M SAPPY RIGHT NOW. AND I’M ONLY GETTING SAPPIER. HAHAHAHA.

SO THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT MY BAYBEE!

Well, not entirely but okay here goes.

The following is a picture of le fiance when he was in his 20s? He used to work as a bar musician. Yes, yes, that lovely man playing the guitar. SO HAMSUM! WAW. ^v^/

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I can definitely see why he attracts all the chicks. I’m so jealous!

I feel like I shouldn’t say this because it’s his story but I kinda wanna make a point.

He was someone who had all the booze he could ever want and all the women he could ever have.

In fact, he could still have access to both if he wanted. He received offers from other musicians to play for them. Even ones who are recognised by the mainstream Singapore audience. But he turned them all down. Because to him, he just wanted to make music out of passion.

Basically, he just want to do his own stuff but people just wouldn’t leave him alone.

But when he needs a loyal companion, people wouldn’t stay with him.

It was certainly very paradoxical for him so I could understand why he was the way he was.

He just needed somebody who is a little bit different than anyone else who could show him a different view of the world and more importantly allow him to be himself.

Yes, he may seem like a ‘hard’ man. Tough exterior. Handles his alcohol so well that he just gets high but not drunk. Plays guitar like a pro and sought after by local professional musicians. He was a skater. Like Tony Hawk skateboard kind of skater until his friend dropped his beloved skateboard into the canal. He did martial arts and went beyond white belt.

When deep inside him, oh, my God, he’s just a softie.

He loves minions. He just goes crazy over them. He loves animals. He loves jazz, blues, and ballads. And recently I found out, he loves drama. I introduced him to three animes so far: Trigun, Sailor Moon, and most recently, NANA. He was sooo moved by NANA that he said he could feel how I relate to it so much. Like as though he was watching me watching it. And watching NANA changed his mindset from playing with no interest to go professional to actually having an intention to go pro. I think he finally sees that going professional doesn’t necessarily mean it’s all about the fame. Going professional really means constantly honing your skills to a higher level so that you can have a sense of pride presenting your work to the world.

And muahahaha fate has it that he bumps into me in his life when he had nothing. He had everything but life happened, causing him to lose almost everything he had. As if life isn’t cruel enough, little old me crossed his path. MUAHAHAHAHA!

I really shook his world. Yes, I’m paying compliments to myself but that’s not the point, shh! I challenged his views…a lot and he can tell you how annoying I can be when doing so muahahaha! I reignited the fire in his belly for his passions in electronics, computing, programming, music, games, movies, TV shows, and even going out for that matter. The thing about him being a softie is that he tends to give in easily. So that was the case with his exes. They kind of stuffed that fire out of him because they had different interests or they just don’t get his passions and he was sooo unconditional in the way he loves them and was such a considerate lover that he always sets himself aside. In fact, in his entire life, he has been putting himself aside for others. He really is a good student but due to financial pressures, he had to work at McDonald’s during the crucial N-level and O-level years. Hence, he didn’t graduate with stellar grades. From then on it was just work work work. There wasn’t really an allowance for him to continue his studies, especially when his dad passed away so he became the head-of-the-household. So suddenly everybody was in his care. So he had to take care of everybody else first before himself. Then there was a time whereby he was so close to settling down and starting a family. Life happened again. In the midst of caring for a terminally ill mother and a sister with a troubled life while juggling a long-distance relationship, his ex cheated on him. And just like that his life changed. He broke up with his then-fiancee. He couldn’t work anymore because he had to be a full-time caregiver for his mum. His triple-digit-K savings depleted quickly due to the expensive medical costs incurred by his mum’s renal failure. And because he didn’t have anymore money, he had to “pull the plug” on his mum’s life.

Even I feel a lot of pain just writing about it.

So after the passing of his mum, he doesn’t have to care about anyone else but himself, he is free to do what he wants. But how can one get over such a tragedy so easily right? Especially when it was not only one tragedy but so many bad things happening at the same time. He didn’t immediately pursue his passions. He was just getting on with life day by day. I chose not to use the phrase ‘living day by day’ because he wasn’t really living. And somehow, he got pulled into music by a buddy. And that was at the same time when I decided to pursue passion instead of romance. And so we met through a jamming session as two strangers who were passionate about music.

And we just started talking and then me being me, I proposed to him, “Will you just marry me already?” and of course, as usual for me and my streak of unrequited love, I was rejected of course HAHAHAHA!

But that was probably the most correct thing he did.

I think it was extremely important for our relationship; that we started out as friends. Because remember what I said earlier, the two things in life that he really wants are:

  1. To pursue his passions.
  2. To have a true friend.

Anybody who knows me, knows that I am a strong advocate of standing on your own two feet and being bold in pursuing your passions. And to a certain degree, I believe it was my fault that I nurtured the ego of someone in my past to the point whereby with the confidence he gained back, it turned into arrogance towards me instead. That’s completely my fault because I’m too soft. But anyway, this little old me was constantly egging on le fiance to explore and discover a lot of things that he had long forgotten, especially his interests.

And man, was it hard to just be his friend when I’m harbouring feelings for him. But I had to discipline myself in locking away my feelings because I genuinely wanted to be his friend.

I remember at one point of our friendship, we grew a bit distant because suddenly a lot of people from his past re-entered his life albeit virtually through FaceBook. I shared with him this as well; that I was hurt to see a snippet of his convo with his ex unintentionally. He was talking a lot about moving to The Philippines as well and being a citizen there. I, being myself, I vlogged about my feelings while in South Korea on my personal YouTube account. It’s still there if you can find it. Tearing up in my baju kurung omg so emo hahaha! I talked about my confusion, I think, about how he shares all these plans about being in a band with me yet he wanted to move away…like how is that supposed to work?! Hahahaha!

And little did I expect that he watched it…

…and that it made him thought a lot about us.

And then life happened and here we are: Two strangers turned into best friends turned into lovers.

That’s why, whenever I look back and think about the people we were and the people we are now, it’s like, is this for real?

Did he really choose me over all other girls he could have had?

Who were far more attractive and seductive than I was?

Was I really worth having that he would turn his back on a life he could have had in The Philippines? A life free from responsibilities? Him staying in Singapore and being with me means he is back to having to take care of someone. It’s like back to square one when he had to set himself aside in order to take care of others.

So those kind of thoughts always drive me to put in some effort in our relationship and in building our future together.

Here I am, in a humbling job, starting from the bottom in order to build something great out of nothing.

And then here we are, two people starting from the very bottom in the retail industry.

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That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, finally, Beedin has a full-time job! WHOOOHOOO!

He is now your friendly neighbourhood Sales Assistant 2 with Salary Grade 1 at Giant! Yay! Let’s clap!

Hurrah!

I’m so proud of him! Whee~

We have both decided to work our way up the corporate ladder in our own companies. Coincidentally, the next step up for the both of us is the Team Leader position. Insha Allah, we will both get there one day.

Maybe make it a little competition? Let’s see who becomes Team Leader first! 😛

But first! We both need to get our confirmation. Gyabon. XD

On an ending note, if we were all to think about it, he was a bad boy turned good and I’m a good girl turned badass. Well, okay, I’m still working my way on becoming more badass but thanks to le fiance, musically, I have become less timid. Even he remarked on how much my singing has improved. Hehe.

And Allah is Ar-Raqib, the Watchful. – MM

I Ramble: 28 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I haven’t slept a wink and it’s already 5:25am now. I might be in trouble over the lack of sleep because I have not one but two interviews today.

Of all the days to be so wide awake at night….zzzzz

Maybe retrieving le fiance’s mail wasn’t such a good idea. Oh, the things he was put through. D:<

When it comes to money, both of us seemed to be tested greatly. Money going out but money not returning when it should be. I think if the both of us were to survive in the future, we need tighter financial policies. Hahaha!

But actually, no, it’s not really a laughing matter when both of us keep getting suckered out of our money out of our kindness.

I need to sit down with him and re-prioritise our pending payments.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure now that I’m annoyed by the thought of people getting away with our money, enjoying their lives, while the two of us battle hunger, sickness, and limited funds.

But knowing him and knowing myself, we won’t be fighting to get our money back. Instead, we’ll be fighting to start our earnings from scratch. Yes, it’s very painful to be conned of a four-digit sum and for him a five-digit sum if not a six-digit sum. But because we are very thin on resources, all the more we should utilise those resources in growing them.

So please, please, please pray for us our affairs will be made easier for us.

I also cannot thank Nora enough for helping me through these difficult times and both Nora and Lyra while I was in the Philippines.

I am also endlessly grateful to Him for letting them both into my life because if we were to base things on first impressions, both of them would certainly not be my friends and I would be worse off right now.

And I can never fully repay my family for spotting me cash in my time of need.

As for le fiance’s health update, he’s still weak and drowsy. It’s been a week now since that fateful night. I think what kept me up as well beside the abovementioned frustration in life is my anxiety in finding out if he will finally be well today. At least well enough to follow me to a group interview by the Japanese retail company I mentioned before in an earlier post. He is still keen on an outdoorsy driver delivery job but I much rather he stays indoors with people around him in a well air-conditioned place and goes home with a higher pay.

But I seriously think my pitch to him would centre more on the air-con. Hehehe.

Wow, it is 6:07am and I am still not sleepy and I have to be out of the house in about two hours.

Hais.

Stay financially wise everyone.

And Allah is Al-Baasit, the Expander, the Munificent. – MM