I Ramble: 27 July 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I know I mentioned I was supposed to rest at home today but my shift was swapped. So I’m working today from 7.30am to 6pm and I will get my rest day tomorrow instead.

I told le fiance that it has begun…the last-minute change of working day/hours and all negative connotations attached to them.

I have heard a lot of talk around me and I could now see why many of them are unhappy.

But for now, I shall play nice.

Anyway, I’m typing this in the MRT on the way to work. A bit upset with the fact that I had to keep standing in the MRT from Tampines to City Hall and if I’m to be unlucky some more,from City Hall to Somerset but I usually don’t complain much about that short ride.

I realise now why I’m more knackered than I thought I would be. Having to travel 1 and a half hours to work and then another 1 and a half hours back tires me out more. The work hours thus far are not too bad if you think about it. It is pretty much extended for an additional hour to your usual 8-hour work. It just seems longer in numbers due to the one and a half an hour break.

So right now, I need to let my body fully assimilate to the back and forth train journey.

I know I could always get up earlier and leave the house earlier to take a train to Pasir Ris to ensure I get to sit down all the way to City Hall but I much rather use the time to sleep peacefully on the bed than nodding off on the train. Hahahaha!

Anyway, I’ve reached City Hall interchange and am on the train to Somerset. Pretty empty train hahaha.

I’m hungry. Had a hard time getting out of bed so I didn’t have time for breakfast. Will squeeze a bite in when I reach since I will arrive at the workplace half an hour earlier. HAHAHAHA.

I know, it’s weird, Nurul Huda is early for work. By half an hour some more. 😱

And Allah is Al-Khabir, the All-Aware. – MM

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I Ramble: 23-25 July 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

23/7:

Happy birthday to le fiance! Yay! But too bad, no celebrations due to lack of budget HAHAHA.

And also I’m working again tomorrow morning. Yoink.

24/7:

Oops. I couldn’t finish blogging yesterday. Anyway, today is alright.

25/7:

And once again I didn’t get to wrap up my blogging hahaha! I think I really can’t finish a post during my work break. :p

Work has been okay actually. I have a lot to share but I don’t have the energy to do so. I guess I didn’t realise how tiring it is until I realised that my whole body became swollen. My feet puffed up until my shoes feel like they were too tight that I was slightly limping on my way home yesterday. Even my right fingers became visibly swollen. So I’m just aching all over. I didn’t work today so thankfully I could have a bit of rest. Furthermore, after working tomorrow, I get to rest again on Thursday. But yeah, I don’t actually feel the fatigue of working until working hours have ended. Maybe because I was so focused on the tasks at hand that it took my mind off the needs of my body, even pains. I didn’t realise I cut my finger either until this morning when I woke up. I suspect it was due to my improper usage of scissors when cutting up the seals on boxes.

Something interesting happened to me yesterday. I was asked to take out the trash. The building janitor asked me whether I have finished school. I said yes, I have even graduated from university. He looked at me with such bewilderment and asked loudly with disbelief along the lines of what the hell am I doing taking out the trash when I am a university graduate. He insisted on me getting another job, a better job. I told him candidly that I tried but I failed to secure such a job. He got annoyed and said I should try and try again. I just smiled and said no more.

Well, people. This is the reality of it. You know how candidates from opposition party expressed the fact that university graduates couldn’t get jobs? It is all true my friend. Especially if you are a Malay. More so if you wear a scarf. And even more so when your degree was not awarded by local institutions.

Not my fault that the government chose to waste a lot of our young local talents. I can mope about it but I’m game for settling for a decent job, even if that means taking out a metal cageful of trash, which just consist of plastics and papers used to package the items.

And remember, our leaders accused us of being picky of our jobs. So this is me not being picky. But certainly, it reflects so badly on our leaders, doesn’t it? I will just leave it at that.

But, Baeda, if you are not picky about your job, why did you leave your previous employment then?

Well, someone leaves a workplace for many reasons.

I must say, I have compared my current job with my former job. Sure, I didn’t get away from janitorial work. I’m working longer hours for much much much lesser pay. I still have to address difficult people. So why am I happier with working at this new job?

Well, my previous workplace was small but people could hide behind other people. They get by without having to make an effort while the people who are working hard kept receiving more workload simply because they can be relied upon. However, at my new workplace, which is way bigger, nobody can hide. Everyone is exposed and expected to put in a good shift. Every single action a person takes affect everyone else. Everyone has to find out about everything and know everything.

Ironic, isn’t it?

Maybe, I would have hated this job if I was hired five years ago when I was still stupidly naive and young and would welcome childcare eagerly. We don’t really know, right? I might just share the same sentiment as that blogger I mentioned before.

But right now, the new environment is a most welcomed change. I foresee the job becoming increasingly tedious in the future and I will remain realistic about that.

However, I actually feel happier now because I know everyone is working as hard as me, if not harder.

I hope everyone will find a suitable working environment for themselves. Be happy.

And Allah is Al-Latif, the Subtly Kind. – MM

I Ramble: 22 July 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

220717; My first day of working at Uniqlo.

I survived.

Oh, my God.

Hahahaha! Well, yes, I’m feeling the fatigue now, no joke, especially so when my menses arrived at the end of the day! Earlier than expected! Hahaha! That was the extent of the physical stress that the work inflicted on my body today.

But actually, okay ah. Even when I was assigned to mop the floor of the second level, it wasn’t bad. It was a dry mop and there was no fuss in doing it so I wasn’t fettered. Plus, it wasn’t like the store was filthy or littered. And it helps a lot that there was neither urine nor faeces unlike toilets, right? Hahahaha! In that department, I’m not too discouraged.

I guess the only issues I have were 1) I am totally clueless and once again I find myself being thrown into the sea to sink or swim but I’m fine with that because been there done that and 2) having to remember a whole hell lotta things first thing in the morning when I am so damn clueless to begin with because I can’t have my orientation until two newbies arrive next week. Toinkssss.

Come on, we all know how bad my memory is! Hahaha! So I felt completely overwhelmed in the morning. Right now, I’m not even sure if I can remember the morning routine. This is going to take me a while. I feel deeply apologetic to everyone there for my utmost blur-ness and endless questions. I’m sorry but they will have to put up with me for quite a bit! Hahahaha! The people are alright, so far nobody shouted at me. I think when someone eventually does so because you know, I’m slow in movement and remembering, I won’t be having an issue with it. There are good days and bad days and shitty days. The bad days and shitty days will definitely come but remember, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Plus, I’ll just take it as a challenge. I realise this job involves A LOT OF THINGS THAT BAEDA DOES NOT COMFORTABLE WITH! HAHAHA! Like doing things fast and remembering a lot of things, etc, etc. But hey, we can’t all remain stuck and stubborn. Step out of your comfort zones, my friends.

Once again, I find myself being in the company of young people. Haha! They keep thinking I am a student! There was this guy who asked me, “Which school are you from?” I just replied University of Newcastle. HAHAHA! Yes, my friends, I didn’t bother revealing that I was working previously for five years, except to a group of nice girls who asked me during lunch. Oh wells. Le fiance has always said I looked like a student because I keep dressing like one. Hehehe. I’m just going to enjoy being mysterious for a bit.

And d’oh! During my introduction, I said my hobby was blogging.

WHY, GOD, OH, WHY? HAHAHA!

Now I would really have to be careful when talking about work. But then again, I’ve always done my best to try and not be too expressive online. It’s a struggle, I must admit.

And wow, I managed to chalk up a lengthy post today despite feeling knackered but nope, not gonna do anything else muahahaha!

So to compare my 1st day experience with the previously mentioned blogger’s experience:

Blogger: The first day of work was half spent on classroom training and the other half on the floor learning the initial ropes.

Me: The first day of work was entirely spent being clueless without orientation but with some guidance from people around me and learning some stuff from working in the stockroom. Hahahaha!

Okay, right now I’m feeling the full brunt of the day plus first day of menses. Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie.

I’m going to retire for the day now.

And Allah is Al-‘Adl, the Utterly Just. – MM

I Ramble: 21 July 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

Managed to have a quick celebration of 8 months as a couple with Beedin on the day I signed my contract with Uniqlo, which was last Wednesday. I even put on a bit of makeup for the occasion, which was a treat for Beedin. He makes me feel very comfortable in my skin so I rarely wear makeup on our dates.

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Coincidentally, a Mexican navy ship was available near the place I signed my contract. Now, if you recall, Beedin made a ship for me out of ice-cream sticks to carry my engagement ring. So to have that ship around on our special day, was definitely significant. ^_^ I just had to snap a picture despite the sun being in our eyes hehe.

Sighs. I’m going to miss him terribly. I’m starting work tomorrow and I’ve been feeling quite nervous about it. I mean, I’ve read the reviews and experiences online and I personally have an idea of what retail is like because I’ve worked as a packer before at Giant Hypermarket Tampines. Here’s one experience that can probably scare anyone from working at Uniqlo: https://onesundaymorning.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/uniqlo-operations-management-trainee-singapore-2/.

Sure, the person was an OM trainee who revealed the salary to be at $2.7k so you might think, what’s the relevance, Baeda? But if you were to read the descriptions of the job, seem rather apt for a typical retail associate. So in that aspect, I’m quite mentally prepared.

Am I going to have the same experience? Well, we’ll see. I’m known to be a crybaby but hey, five years of childcare? I’m probably made of stronger stuff now. I’ll take folding clothes into the night any day compared to washing children’s toilets at the end of a tiring day.

And oh, I actually applied to be a Retail Associate but surprisingly, they assigned me as a Senior Retail Associate. I suspect it is due to my degree. Imagine if I had chosen to keep my degree a secret. Would have been a shame. I almost did so because the first time I applied to Uniqlo, I was ignored. HAHAHA. I thought probably my qualifications put them off. For some reason, I thought, hey, why not re-apply. And whazaaaa…they reverted to me in less than a week. Toinksss.

So yeah, good luck to me on that. I shall endeavour to blog about it every single day if I’m not exhausted but I have a feeling I will be completely knackered at the end of each working day. Hahaha!

But I’m hoping to be able to schedule my life properly because I do have a lot of commitments after all. I just need that staff roster and then I can plan from there.

But yes, a one-week’s grace will be very much appreciated. So if I’m quiet here for about a week, you’ll know exactly why. HAHAHAHA.

Had a meeting today with SMC brothers. We discovered that the purchasing system on the wixstore site was disabled as it needed us to pay for it. Toinksss. So apologies all. If you would like to order, please email streetmobclothing@gmail.com. Thanks!

Also, I’m very sad about the passing of Chester Bennington. He influenced me greatly in music and my songwriting. In honour of his memory, here is a song that helped me through shit, especially when I feel so alone and when I feel people couldn’t understand me.

Because I can’t hold on when I’m stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I’m lost within
I put on my daily façade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself

May Allah ease the pain of his loved ones and may He have compassion and mercy on his soul. Amin.

And Allah is Al-Hakam, the Judge, the Arbitrator. – MM

I Ramble: 13 July 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I received another rejection from one of my better job prospects. I shall reveal now the public service that I was trying out for. It was the State Courts as a Language Executive.

Oh, wells.

That is behind me now. Now, I’m just hoping that the third prospective employer is still keen on hiring me. A Japanese retail company, just to refresh your memory.

Looks like it is proven true; I’m not good enough for the corporate world. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter to me. At least, I’m not letting that fact matter to me that is.

I guess I am meant for greater things in my own time in my own way.

Fret not! For a person with varied interests like me, I can do anything I put my mind to.

Here’s to a hardworking Huda.

And Allah is Al-Muzil, the Humiliator. – MM

I Ramble: 28 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I haven’t slept a wink and it’s already 5:25am now. I might be in trouble over the lack of sleep because I have not one but two interviews today.

Of all the days to be so wide awake at night….zzzzz

Maybe retrieving le fiance’s mail wasn’t such a good idea. Oh, the things he was put through. D:<

When it comes to money, both of us seemed to be tested greatly. Money going out but money not returning when it should be. I think if the both of us were to survive in the future, we need tighter financial policies. Hahaha!

But actually, no, it’s not really a laughing matter when both of us keep getting suckered out of our money out of our kindness.

I need to sit down with him and re-prioritise our pending payments.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure now that I’m annoyed by the thought of people getting away with our money, enjoying their lives, while the two of us battle hunger, sickness, and limited funds.

But knowing him and knowing myself, we won’t be fighting to get our money back. Instead, we’ll be fighting to start our earnings from scratch. Yes, it’s very painful to be conned of a four-digit sum and for him a five-digit sum if not a six-digit sum. But because we are very thin on resources, all the more we should utilise those resources in growing them.

So please, please, please pray for us our affairs will be made easier for us.

I also cannot thank Nora enough for helping me through these difficult times and both Nora and Lyra while I was in the Philippines.

I am also endlessly grateful to Him for letting them both into my life because if we were to base things on first impressions, both of them would certainly not be my friends and I would be worse off right now.

And I can never fully repay my family for spotting me cash in my time of need.

As for le fiance’s health update, he’s still weak and drowsy. It’s been a week now since that fateful night. I think what kept me up as well beside the abovementioned frustration in life is my anxiety in finding out if he will finally be well today. At least well enough to follow me to a group interview by the Japanese retail company I mentioned before in an earlier post. He is still keen on an outdoorsy driver delivery job but I much rather he stays indoors with people around him in a well air-conditioned place and goes home with a higher pay.

But I seriously think my pitch to him would centre more on the air-con. Hehehe.

Wow, it is 6:07am and I am still not sleepy and I have to be out of the house in about two hours.

Hais.

Stay financially wise everyone.

And Allah is Al-Baasit, the Expander, the Munificent. – MM

I Ramble: 23 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

Does anybody miss Mortal? I know I do. I was scrolling through FaceBook when I come across this video. Guess the Gorilla’s name… It’s Zola! Hehehe!

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fbbcnews%2Fvideos%2F10154803820962217%2F&show_text=1&width=560

I think I will get on with Chapter 4 tomorrow. I’ve finally got a bit of inspiration to start the chapter with so it’s just a matter of taking it from there.

Oh! By the way, right after I lamented about my inept abilities in securing jobs with high-profile organisations, Mamma Mia! Both of them called me back for an interview! :O

And to think I screwed up both of their tests! Both organisations contacted me on the same day to inform me about it.

And today I received a call from another Japanese company but in retail. :O

Alhamdulillah. I am so thankful to Him. I know, having a shot at an interview does not equate job security but at least the good news will keep me going in my pursuit of securing a job. Also, such good news are most welcomed during such difficult times. Been doing all I can not to break down.

I got to see le fiance today. He looked so weak. He was still drowsy and in a lot of pain. I wanted to cry as I looked at his weary visage but turned away when I felt the tears coming and there was a strain in my voice as I replied “Okay” to him when he told me not to worry about him. He took my hand, stroked it, and kissed it.

I blushed, of course. Gee, what a man.

I hope he recovers quickly in time for him to join me for the interview with the Japanese retail company…and I hope he gets the job. Mate needs to stop doing manual labour outdoors. He’s no longer fit to do so anymore, I feel.

If he still hasn’t recovered by Tuesday, I’d probably drag him out to the Singapore Buddhist Free Clinic. Hey, TCM, especially acupuncture might just be what he needs.

People, pray for him so he may get well soon and be able to stand on his own two feet again. Pray for me as well so that I may get the best job out of the three options currently available to me right now. Amin.

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And Allah is Al-‘Alim, the All Knowing, the Omniscient. – MM