I Ramble: 3 May 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

It’s amazing just how time passes by. Ramadan is coming to a close soon and I feel like I haven’t done enough.

I also feel burdened by the lack of progress with regards to the state of my house.

Thanks to my flu, I have been getting more rest. But that meant I haven’t done any cleaning.

Sometimes, I feel very stressed out. I wish my husband could have taken on a more active role in the management of the house. But to be honest, he is doing more than me by settling the laundry and dishwashing, things I dread to do.

So is it fair? Sometimes, I don’t know. Most times, I wish we could function more as a team. I always hate it when he pushes things off instead of facing them head on. Maybe I’m impatient. But after close to three years, that patience is whittling down.

I don’t know. I’m tired of not knowing and I’m even more tired of doing things alone.

But I also am tired of complaining so hopefully this blog post helps me to let off some steam and feel refreshed.

At the end of the day, I must remember my duties to God, my family, and my community.

I cannot simply serve myself.

Seriously, I cannot wait to be fully free.

But earning that freedom is going to take a lot of hard work and a whole lot more patience than I have in my reserves.

I can only pray for more of His Kindness. Whichever is the course set for me, I will need to tread without losing my religion and without compromising my morals.

Life in the 21st century is definitely a struggle.

I am fighting so many unseen demons everyday. They come in from so many directions. They whispered so many things.

I hope I can hold on strongly to The Book. It is the only tangible thing that connects me to God.

The end game is to return to Him in the best of circumstances.

And Allah is All-Knowing. – MM