The Ramadan Diary 2023: Day 4

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Another quick one. Boy, am I tired from just a few days of fasting.

Great to see a lot of friends having iftars with their families over the weekend! It is always nice to do so.

Today, I was made to realise just how much better other Muslims are than I am and trust me, they can be waaaay younger than me yet be more matured than I am in terms of spirituality.

This just brings me back to the importance of being grateful. Alhamdulillah! I am finally working in a place where people are actually secretly God-conscious! It is just so heartwarming.

Today’s highlight that led me to the above conclusion is an encounter I had with my colleague at the fitting room. Bro pretty much was just taking a respite from work. He asked me to excuse him because he was trying to charge himself but then cheered himself up at the prospect of ending work earlier. I asked him if he had taken his one-hour break and he replied, “Yeah, because I wanted to pray Zuhur”.

At that point, it was getting close to 4pm and I have yet to perform my Zuhur prayer. So yeaaaaaah, that sense of guilt just kicked right in!

Right after my fitting room duty, I immediately performed my Zuhur prayer and since it was Asar right after I finished, I performed my Asar prayer as well.

Lesson learned: Just pray immediately when the time comes. There is more blessing in it and I will not be so embarrassed when someone else has done it but I have not.

And Allah is Al-Quddus, The Most Pure, The All-Perfect. – MM


The Ramadan Diary 2023: Day 3

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Today is not the best day of the month so far. My husband and I could not get up for pre-dawn meal. I only managed to pray Fajr and read the Quran.

Then I fell asleep at around 8am and only woke up after 2pm! Sheesh!

I think my body has been struggling to cope with dealing the sudden fast while having to work. I guess that’s why it’s best to fast during Sha’baan. At least the body won’t be shocked during Ramadan.

Anyway, we went out to Century Square to pick up my sister’s order of satays and a birthday cake for the March babies! We decided to celebrate my in-laws’ birthdays — Jannah and Khalis, as well as Jannah’s domestic helper, Rina, along with the latest addition to the family, baby Nurra!

At sunset, we all sat down to enjoy our first big family iftar together. Then we prayed Isya’ and Terawih together. Finally, we had cake.

Then we said goodbye and sent my dad to work at the airport before we headed home.

There were a lot of firsts this week. First days at the workplace as a full-timer. First time fasting at the workplace. First time breaking fast with the family this month. First time praying with the family this month. And so on.

Yeah, I am kinda rushing this post because I feel pretty tired and I have got an early day at work tomorrow.

Will write again tomorrow!

And Allah is Al-Malik, The King. – MM

The Ramadan Diary 2023: Day 2

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

My second day of work as a full-timer was pretty challenging given that it was the first day of fasting and I only had tuna with bread for pre-dawn meal. I experienced gastric just an hour after I started working. Despite that, I soldiered on with work and my fast. All in all, it was a really good day at work yesterday. I received many congratulations from people around me and even received my work tablet. This has got to be the first time I get a company gadget and I get to bring it home! This also means I may end up doing more work at home. Hurrah! Hahaha!

Today was quite a day at work, having to start earlier than usual. Although it was the second day of fasting, I was still trying hard to overcome my hunger. I managed to do a good job in amending a few layouts today. Alhamdulillah, all thanks to Allah for giving me the guidance to do so. Received formal congratulations for joining as a full-timer and I am just so so so grateful to be where I am today. Alhamdulillah. All praises and glory to Him.

I was more properly introduced to my responsibilities at work today. I must say, I have a lot of thinking and organising to do, aside from having to catch up with everyone. Looks like I am gonna have a lot of fun working here. I cannot wait to buckle down and get to work.

The highlight of today, however, is how well my teammates observe Ramadan, telling me off nicely for things I did or said that goes against the spirit of Ramadan. Best part is, it is the non-Muslims who are more sensitive in supporting our observation of Ramadan.

“Hey, cannot be so negative around them. They are fasting.”

“Oy! Cannot use vulgarities around them. Fasting means avoiding bad language.”

My heart is so warmed by such thoughtfulness and consideration.

Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!

And Allah is Ar-Raheem, The Most Merciful. – MM

The Ramadan Diary 2023: Day 1

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I decided to blog daily during Ramadan because I need an outlet. So badly. I am dealing with a lot of things and unfortunately, I cannot lean on anyone. I am trying my best to soldier on as far as I can in this journey of life. Suffering is such a lonely journey, no matter who you have around you. You are facing shit alone in your difficult times and no one can face it for you. They can face it with you, if they choose to that is, but they cannot face it for you.

Firstly, my intention for this Ramadan is to push myself to fix myself. I am pretty broken and burnt out. I barely recognise myself anymore. I worked too hard for too long yet I still have to work even harder and even longer. Everything has basically gone to shit and I basically froze. Apparently, there are four types of responses to conflicts: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. I identify most with the freeze response. I get bewildered, I get clueless, and I get dazed. I could never really figure out what to do and I let myself get stuck in the situation. In order for me to get out of this self-spun web of misery, I have decided to show my gratitude to Allah by putting what He has given me to good use and taking care of His gifts to me.

For example, my body, although badly abused by my negligence and subjected to a lot of hard labour work, is still in good shape to help people around me. Also my personality, although not the loudest nor most outgoing, has placated enough people to make them feel comfortable around me. It feels really good to be in a workplace where people from all departments are willing to say hi to you or offer a smile or wave. I feel like a rockstar to be honest. All these are thanks to Allah. He has allowed me to be who and what I am now. He has made it easier for me to socialise and interact with people now. I just need to keep on putting my foot forward and not waste the chances He give me.

As such, I finally took the time to groom myself in the morning. I feel 10 times lighter and I feel sexier. I think feeling sexy is important to me. People at my workplace kept thinking I am in my twenties. They cannot believe I am in my thirties. You know what? It feels good every time people think I am younger than my actual age. :p

I even did chores before I went to work. Got some groceries and cleaned the toilet seat and bowl. How about that?

I did not get to achieve all that I aimed to get done in the morning but I feel rather proud of myself for being able to do more than I usually would. I even managed to pray Terawih and Witr at the workplace. Feels great to start off Ramadan on the front foot.

I hope to continue pushing myself throughout the month. I wanna continue my Quran reading routine in the morning as well later today.

Ya Allah, let me die a Muslim because that would mean I died grateful to You.

And Allah is Ar-Rahmaan, The Most Beneficent. – MM