I Recall: 15 May 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

So… WordPress is telling me I haven’t blogged in about two weeks now. Jeng jeng jeng…

Well, like I have mentioned before, I was rather busy. Even the part-time teacher commented just how happening my life is right now. Hahaha! Well, actually, I still have yet to go on a date through LunchClick because my potential date was busy and then I was busy and now he is back to being busy again. I actually watched him perform last night at the Malay Heritage Centre. It was quite surreal to have him pick me out from the crowd when he was in front with the other performers during the finale. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stick around long enough to meet him after… because mum got mad at me last Thursday night for not telling her I will be home late.

Really, I am 26 years old and I have never needed to tell her my activities and what time I will be home all of my life. Suddenly, she got mad at me… all because of one person in the house who broke that trust. Not fair. Come on, man. She even got me to promise that I won’t meet up with strangers from the Internet. But then how the heck am I suppose to get to know people, right?! I didn’t make that promise. I can’t. She will have to realise that my world will forever be small unless I start putting myself out there. I understand her position and I know the risks. I will probably react worse than her when I become a mother myself in the future, Insha Allah. Hahaha! Should this conflict happen again, I will need to explain my position to her. Tactfully and respectfully of course.

I must admit that I want to go back to not having a curfew. Seriously, man, I have been good all these while. Cut me some slack and let me not have a curfew… hahaha!

Okay, I don’t want to turn this recollection post into a ramble. Move on.

I was busy crazy for Mother’s Day celebration preparations. God. What did I get myself into by being responsible for two classes and three levels?! Hahahaha! Please, Cikgu Nurul! No more again! Hahaha!

But the Mother’s Day celebration on 6 May marked one month of my breakup. I made it. Not gonna lie, the pain remains in my heart but I have begun to forget many details of my relationship such as dates. I only remember my breakup date now. Hopefully, that too will cease in time.

In fact, I have something new to help me chuck that out of my life completely:

13 April 2016: I guess that made it one week post-breakup. My passion for singing was rekindled through smule and I thought, heck, since I am all single again now, why not I try out for a band and see if there are any kind souls out there who are willing to take me in as their singer. So I did and after looking through a few forum posts on soft.com.sg, I stumbled upon one post that intrigued me. They were looking for a vocalist who is interested in rock and metal. They stated their age range and influences. I was alright with all those and initiated contact. I asked about the songs they usually jam to and I received a setlist. It was great that I got involved in smule so they could have a listen to my voice. Then a couple of days later the jamming session was set to be held on 12 May.

Luckily, I asked my colleague to teach me a few techniques to sing loud and strong. It did help me eventually but I still need a lot of work. But then I got busy with Mother’s Day so the practising stopped. So for the entire week after the Mother’s Day hoohah, I was practising the songs. I just completely forsake everything else, even my work actually. I don’t know. I suppose, I was very aware of how possibly skilled they might all be. I didn’t want to look ridiculous too although in the end, I did. Hahaha! Also, I suppose, I did have quite a bit of a singer’s pride. It doesn’t feel good when people tell you they don’t like your voice. :/

12 May 2016: The day of reckoning arrived. I was really nervous, really anxious, really worried. Will they like my voice? Will I be able to sing properly? Will they like me? We met up at a coffee shop nearby the jamming studio. And oh, man, I messed up horribly on most of the songs. However, somehow somewhere, I felt in sync with the band. That was when I realise, “Crap, I really want to be part of the band now”. Hahaha! Really! I can’t really explain it. After the session ended, I really wasn’t sure how things would pan out. I mean, they didn’t say if I was in or out or made any comments about my voice or singing. I offered to pay my share of the jamming cost but they refused to take my money. Haha! Then we had supper at the same coffee shop. They also refused to take my money for that when I offered to pay my share! They said next round is on me. Alrighty then! It was like a band meeting as well. We had a round table discussion about the jamming session. We discussed the good and the bad things that happened during the session. I actually received commends for the ending of Flight of Icarus during the session. I managed to hold a note for what felt like the longest time ever and nailed the final high note, which was more of a scream. Haha! I was coughing badly at the end of it! Horrible me. Hahahaha! They applauded me again during the discussion. I guess, that was my saving grace. Flight of Icarus will forever be my boon and bane. Hahahaha! When it came to my turn to contribute my input, I told them I felt a good chemistry amongst ourselves. They seemed to agree. Still, I wasn’t sure if I was in or not. Went home. Reached home.

They added me to the group chat.

Oh, okay? Looks like I’m in! 😀

I’m really happy about it. In fact, I went home feeling really overjoyed. I really enjoyed the session. Had a lot of fun. I suppose they felt the same way. I guess I will never know what they feel about me and their internal discussion about me. Hahaha!

So yup looks like it’s me and four guys. It feels like I’m a tomboy all over again! Hahahaha! Hopefully, we’ll have loads of opportunities to play together and deep down I sincerely hope we can have opportunities to perform on stage. I think that would be neat but for now, we are sticking to casual jamming and growing together as a band.

Me in a band… wow… I have dreamt of it for the longest time ever. Since we were all busy with our life commitments, we bonded over conversations in the group chat. Good fun. I feel at home with them to be honest because I feel safe and happy and I can be myself.

Band name? I’m assuming it’s Dry Magnum. Hahaha! Well they never explicitly mentioned it but one of them dropped that name on his YouTube channel. By the way guys, really, save your ears from my voice but if you wanna ruin them anyway, go here and here to check out our videos. 🙂 They play well. I unfortunately, sang less well. Nevermind, motivation for me to improve.

I will be busier at work now. Just had a new responsibility fall into my lap. Sighs. Just like that happy days can be over. But I shall trod on… looking forward to the next jamming session after Hari Raya. They want to wear baju kurung. They want me to wear baju kebaya. I told them I will wear jubah instead and they are okay with it but I will surprise them anyway with my kebaya. Haha!

Also they have been throwing ideas for a music video and band photoshoot hahaha! The suggested timings are unearthly. So yeah… this is why I want to have no curfew… I don’t want my band activities to be limited… I am willing to compromise my dating life for my band life even.

Please, Ma, please, please, never mind if I can’t date a guy until late night but please let me be with my band!!! 😀  Hahahahaha!!!

And Allah is Knower of all things. – MM