I Relate: 27 November 2016

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

I remember telling le boyfriend before we became a couple that our hellos are short and our goodbyes are long.

He noticed it as well but we both just laughed it off.

I also remember him telling me that while debating with himself if he should confess to me, he thought about what if I should stop talking to him one day.

I can’t remember if I’ve told him that I had thought about that as well…the possibility of him being with someone else and even if he said we should stay friends, I know for sure I will cease all casual contact with him out of respect for his lover. I mean, we would still communicate as maybe bandmates or collaborators but that’s about it. I wouldn’t be as close anymore because no way am I allowing myself to receive a text from another woman again regarding a man. I should never be subjected to that.

And then, whadya know… tiuuuuuu ceplok!

I guess goodbye was never meant to be in our shared journey.

And He is Knower of all things. – MM


I Ramble: 15 November 2016

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

Day 2 of 6 Days of Crazy is over.

If I was feeling down yesterday, today I’m sent in a downward spiral.

The day started okay and turned out alright but ended very badly.

Look here. I am being very kind here to all of you, my workplace people. I did the classroom arrangement for you in preparation for our live play with help from the cleaning lady. Yet you are telling me you can’t get a child to behave? And it’s not like you have been doing anything for the play?

Only Allah knows how exasperated that made me feel. Even Nora flipped. Never mind.

Now, our schedule has always been to film from 9am to 11am from Monday to Wednesday. This has been brought up during the meeting, correct? In fact the classroom arrangement was supposed to be done by 7 November but I had to stall because of Chicken Pox and was finally able to do it today.

Now back to our schedule. We tried 9-11 yesterday. Didn’t work well because we spent some time setting up. In the end, we were set back by one hour. In fact, we had to squeeze in filming in the afternoon, which I’m really grateful that we did. I asked our leader to allow us to start from 8.30am instead so filming can begin punctually today.

Today, I even came in earlier than I was supposed to. I came in at 8.45am (when my shift was supposed to be from 9.30am to 6.30pm) and I worked until close to 7pm because I was getting the children to help me with signs directing parents to the play venue for Saturday. Thank goodness we managed to squeeze in 2 and a half scenes in the morning.

Tomorrow, we want to start at 9am. However, due to shortage of manpower, our leader is now asking us to begin at 9.30am. Given what we went through for the past two days, 9.30am is not an ideal timing. So I suggested getting one of you to work from 9am. Extend 30 mins earlier. However, our leader is concerned about paying back her time. Okay. In the interest of the filming schedule, I offered to cover that 30 mins. That means one of you work from 9am to 6pm instead of 9am to 6.30pm. So in order for one of you to work 9am to 6pm so filming can begin at 9am, I will now have to work from 8am to 6.30pm tomorrow.

People, I do not need thanks. I do not need money. I do not need lesser working hours.

I need your cooperation. That is all I need. That is all I am asking for.

Is that so very hard?

The fact that I am actually typing this very nicely instead of in my usual angry fashion just goes to show…

…just how very tired I am right now.

Still, I am going on with the project. I am moving forward.

And tomorrow morning at work when we see one another, you won’t be seeing these tears I just cried over my disappointment in all of us.


Allah knows best. – MM