Metropolitan Muslimah

Bismillah.

I know! I am not supposed to sound so excited for a sports injury! It’s just that I’ve never really found myself to be synonymous with the label of sportsperson or athlete. However, given the mileage I have invested in sports, especially running, I have to face the fact, I AM A SPORTSPERSON AFTER ALL! GAAAHHHH!!!!

Feels nice to finally embrace it. 🙂

But back to the injury!

Basically, I ran 21.1KM at this year’s Income Eco Run on the 8th June, which was last Sunday.

As usual, my legs started to cramp up really badly after the 13KM mark so I thought it was normal. Even after the run, I was in massive pain when the strain hits. I thought it was all normal still.

It became abnormal to me when my mother commented that my right calf was bigger than my left. Started to see it too. I thought it was just like a post-run swelling or something. I showed to a few girls at work and it only really hit me that I needed to see the doctor when one of them said I should really go see one because it did look alarming.

And so, I went to see one last Wednesday. He was genuinely concerned, and I think because he was the Kovan’s outlet main doctor, he asked me to visit him there the next day for another review, a memo, and a referral to get MRI done on my lower right limb.

The MRI was not cheap. I drained my savings, which was not much to begin with. HAHAHA!

I wish I was filthy rich enough to feel like that amount is just $1.30 instead. HAHAHA!

So I had the MRI yesterday and waited anxiously today for the callback.

Doctor called in the afternoon and he explained that I would have to go back to his clinic on Monday for a review and a referral to the Orthopaedics. He explained briefly on the MRI results but I will have a better idea on Monday. I received my Medical Certificate to cover me for tomorrow to Monday as I was scheduled to work on those days. I also received my MRI results but not the images!

Luckily, one of my teammates was a nurse who worked in the Radiology department, so she summarised all that jargon as, “Muscle, tendon tear causing lots of inflammation and swelling.”

I love both jargons and layman’s terms. Language is beautiful.

So yeah, will only know more on Monday. The doctor said depending on the Orthopaedics’ assessment and opinion on the severity of my tears, I may or may not need a surgery.

Honestly, would rather not have surgery. I still want to run. I have to run. I have signed up for quite a few runs and ultimately a marathon at the end of the year! Surgery will only put me out and decreases my chances of training for the marathon! :<

So yeah after all that jazz and excitement, this is where the depression kicks in. Injury-related depression is real, I guess.

It is so much harder when you keep seeing people run on social media, especially when you have started to join the community! FUCK.

I want to run too….

Ironically, the whole concept of me wanting to run a marathon is built on the idea that my legs may not work for long and I just wanted to conquer it before my legs don’t work like they used to before. ~

LAWL. I digressed.

Hoping for the best! At least I am not limping anymore but I do feel the strain in my calf.

Honestly, it would be a lot better if I keep myself accompanied during this difficult period so I won’t mentally spiral but I always find myself isolated whenever I’m going through something. I guess, people just get bored easily and forget about me. Oh, wells.

As usual, it is just me facing head on with the help of God and the blessing he bestowed upon me, which is music.

I shall face this alone patiently and wait patiently for that day when my saham naik.

And Allah is Al-Muhaymin, The Guardian, The One who witnesses the saying and deeds of His creatures. – MM