I Ramble: 28 April 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Yesterday, I started feeling a bit different. I am not sure if it was positivity or if it was nonchalance that was permeating through my mind.

Today, I woke up really late! Oh, my God! However, I woke up with the same feeling I had the day before, only stronger. I realised that my mindset has been adjusted from a grieving victimised ex-girlfriend to an empowered single confident and independent woman. In fact, I felt like I have never been in a relationship before. What is an ex? What is ghosted? What is a baby mama?

Basically it felt like I was on a clean slate. Like I have completely wiped out all my sentiments and memories of ALL — yes, get this, ALL — men I have ever admired/liked/loved.

At this point of time, they simply have no imprints left on my heart.

They have disrespected me so I don’t see the point of honouring them, even in my memory.

I feel good. I feel powerful. Shit, son, I feel brave.

I am ready to love… anytime.

However, while waiting for my man, I ain’t gonna sit around doing nothing.

I am working on myself. A lot of exciting things coming my way. I have a staff chalet this weekend. Hopefully, I’ll learn to be more active in capturing those moments. I will only stay for one night tomorrow, then after the BBQ on Saturday evening, I will head home. I am volunteering at the Istana again on Sunday from 7am to 1pm so I think it is best that I get a good rest the night before. I will be completely busy at work preparing for Mother’s Day celebration on 6 May, Friday. If my dad is not working, I might go to the game on 10 May, Tuesday with him. I am still keeping up with Zumba every Wednesday evening. I will be jamming on 12 May, Thursday at Aljunied. It will be the first time I am meeting a group of men in their 30s in a soundproofed room so pray for my safety. I hope they will like my vocals enough to keep inviting me to their sessions. The following is the confirmed setlist:

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On top of all that, I am still keeping up with my Iqra’ classes and my Quran classes. Alhamdulillah.

More interestingly for you readers, I just got on this dating app called LunchClick, which is really catered for serious singles. So far, I had one interested in me but I am not sure if I am supposed to ask him out or if I should wait for him to do so. I will just go with the flow. Okcupid was cool but I actually didn’t want to throw myself into the dating scene so quickly to be honest. The only reason I got LunchClick was to sort of accompany my friend who was interested in the app. But hey, why not go for it? I don’t have to answer to anyone and it is not like my ex cares if I get together with anyone so quickly, eh?

On top of that as well, I am still working on my album called Boldly. Might have to set that aside for now since I am quite occupied with so many fun stuff.

Additionally, I am having fun blogging and vlogging here and singing on smule.

I am very happy right now.

Alhamdulillah.

And He is Knower of all things. – MM

Published by Baeda

Born 1989. Female. Metropolitan Muslimah. Songstress. Teacher in the Early Childhood Care and Education sector in Singapore. Gooner since the signing of Mesut Özil on 2 September 2013. We won two back-to-back FA Cups since. Made my first trip to the Emirates on 10 May 2015 followed by my first home game against Swansea City on 11 May 2015, which we lost 0-1.

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