Wow. Nice date. 190919. — I Ramble: 19 September 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Yo! It’s been sometime when I actually promised myself that I would blog here more frequently. But promises get broken sometimes. Ah, the nature of promises. Anywho, my life is now gearing towards hard work for the following weeks, even a month or so actually. I will find myself following a four to five-day working schedule, blessed with some double off days. Both of my teammates will be on holiday soon so yeah I will be the sorry-ass motherfucker grinding hard at work. I’m already gearing myself up for it. Ain’t nothing to it if I just keep myself away from feeling tired even before approaching those long work days. I just need to keep thinking about getting to the end of the day each day and time does fly fast when you’re engrossed in your work. So yeah, just keep myself busy with tasks.

Another survival tip for myself is to not overtime during those long working days. I mean, fuck, if my sorry ass is gonna work that long, that means I could pace myself throughout those days so I won’t have to worry about getting things done quickly before my next off. Brilliante.

Moving on from the topic of work, I’ve been trying to get back to my good old routine of waking up at 5am but damn, even my husband knows that some tricks just don’t work for me. I find that a lot of the YouTubers who vlogged about their daily routines, aren’t really doing so realistically. They presented the most ideal situation where you don’t have work or school to get to that morning so of course naturally they could exercise and cook breakfast as part of their daily morning routine, at least in their presentations.

How about us people who have to get to work and school? I do see some YouTubers vlogging about their first day of school or getting ready for school, which is nice but not essentially your go-to guide in establishing morning routines.

Shall I vlog about morning routines then as a working adult? The problem is I don’t have routines. I just stumble my way around in the morning and just do as I please. Sometimes I don’t feel like bathing yet so I would have breakfast instead first. Sometimes I just want to get my morning prayer out of the way first. What’s nice about what I’ve been doing is that it gives me variety. Sometimes routines can make you go “meh” and “bleh” and it just takes you longer to get a perfectly five-minute task done in good time.

But I am starting to realise that, hey man, I’m a married woman. I need to start doing stuff that is to the benefit of my family, and presently my husband is my family. So I really should be cooking breakfast and all that jazz but I’m not. Although it is not wrong by law, I feel it is wrong by me. Like, nope, this is not how I want it to be, I have to better than this.

Unfortunately for me, I’m placed in a unique position that really puts me in an existential crisis of some sort. While I would really not want to invest myself in work, kinda have no choice but to do so as I’m the sole breadwinner for now. So I’m pulled. Between home and work. And I hate that.

But that’s the reality of life, especially in Singapore.

So, what do I do? Run myself ragged for who? Or is it whom? My English sucks now.

And Allah is Al-Khabir, the All-Aware. – MM

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Postception — I Ramble: 10 September 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I was supposed to upload a positive post yesterday on 1 September, which began as the following:

1 September 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Welcome September and Muharram, marking the beginnings of a new Fiscal Year and season at my workplace as well as the new Islamic year!

Are you guys excited and motivated? Well, to be honest, I wasn’t when I was trying to get out of bed this morning after a week of vacation!

So due to my lack of motivation, I’m still crawling to work. Hahahaha!

But I actually feel better and chirpier now. Hmm.

I guess that it does help to wake up early yesterday just to get my gears in motion again.

2 September 2019 (continued)

I had to alight the train by then and once I clocked in, my day just went downhill from there so I didn’t get to do anything about the post. It started with having to go up and down the three levels of my workplace by stairs and stationary escalators, suddenly having to deal with so many ad-hoc tasks (and I didn’t get to complete them yesterday by the way), me forgetting to take my lunch bag home with me and I only realised it just as I was about to board the NEL train home from Dhoby Ghaut (and my workplace is at Somerset) so I turned back to get it, and then missing my bus home and the subsequent bus took longer to arrive so I hopped onto an incoming bus that didn’t take me directly to my house so I had to walk further from the bus stop to home, and finally, I couldn’t take the shortest route home as there maintenance works being done at the route so…..

Yeah….

Well actually when I reached home, I don’t exactly know what happened but my husband suddenly got riled up by something that is totally unrelated to him. Like whaaaaat…. I was sharing about my conversation with my mum and then suddenly he flipped. But it wasn’t long before he got hungry and looked for me for food. -_-”

Life of a wife, guys… Life of a wife…

And not to mention I didn’t have a good sleep at night as I think I was being disturbed by probably an evil being that might have followed me home from the route that I rarely took to go home (because you know what happened from the story above). Really not a good idea to walk deserted routes that I rarely take at night. If I had to do so, I better pray for protection.

Ma, now that I think about it, maybe that evil being might have disturbed him first. I think people’s understanding of evil beings might be lacking a bit. People tend to think they are capable of causing nightmares, making eerie sounds, and making apparitions but I think they are also capable of creating divisions in your household. Like suddenly put of nowhere, you suddenly feel a deep hatred for a member of the household and you just wanna isolate them or flare up at them. Very much akin to the mechanics of black magic. So hopefully that is not the case.

Hais.

But! Although a good day can turn into a lousy day and that lousiness may persist throughout even until the next day, it is important to keep focused on getting through the day firstly and then finding the pockets of space and time to relieve oneself of the clinging negative baggage. Sometimes sadly, it is hard to squeeze in that breather but ensure that you can find it before the end of the week or else you are pretty much stuck in that infinite loop of negativity. Break out.

Like today, is such a tiring and stressful and agonising day at work. I’m trying to help as much as I can with the maintenance at the workplace but ehmehgehd the entire place is just breaking down.

10 September 2019 (continued)

So I finally got around to finishing up this post within a post within a post, hence the title ‘Postception’. You have to have had watched Inception to get the reference. But I digressed. But yeah, my workplace didn’t stop breaking down on 2 September. In fact it continued to downspiral, as far as having electrical surges and trips, affecting some monitor displays on my shop floor, one cashier POS, busting one microwave, and a fridge. The microwave was completely toasted. The electrician let me see the spark that happened at the side panel and I was pretty sure that it was going to explode.

Okay, I got very extra with the signage but whateverrrr. A complete song of fire and thunder if you ask me. Game of Thrones reference there if you didn’t get it. Also, I worked 11 hours on that frigging day of electrical trips, no thanks to someone’s meddling. Annoyed.

And while I was off duty yesterday, I saw photos of multiple busted lights on the shop floor in group’s work chats. Even my Deputy Manager texted me to report dripping oil from door hinges…to which I had to awkwardly reply that I wasn’t working so I could only report today.

Hais.

So… Yep. What a month, huh? I hope to slow it down a little today.

And Allah is Al-Latif, the Subtle One. – MM

I Ramble: 19 August 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I woke up today and had Shakira’s Can’t Remember to Forget You playing in my head in a loop. I don’t quite know what’s the significance but it feels meaningful now. Hmm.

Maybe it has got to do with my realisation that sometimes we have to remember to forget as much as we sometimes forget to remember.

Selective memory.

Or maybe I’m also exploring vocals. I used to think that my voice is ugly until I discovered that people actually enjoy different types of vocals. And a voice like Shakira is definitely a standout. Back then, perhaps, the mainstream media was saturated with pop idols that my exposure to vocals was limited to the atypical high pitched sweet voice. As I grew older and listened to more music, I began to like more operatic vocals. And so now I’m trying to understand my own vocals. I don’t think I belong to the clan of high pitched sweet voices. Lower but with a potential to go high. Chey chey. Hahaha. Hmm. I don’t quite know how to describe it.

Ma, in any case, I want to study more in depth about vocals and just, you know, assimilate myself with the art of vocalising.

But yeah, wondering if I can use my skillsfuture credit for it. Hmm.

And Allah is Al-‘Adl, the Just. – MM

I Ramble: 11 August 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I am getting more frustrated at Singaporeans; with their impatience, their sense of entitlement to everything and anything, and their lack of consideration for others.

I see it even more in my line of work. If you’re pauper and you had to walk a hundred miles to get a sack of grains but it ran out of stock, I can understand that you’d feel angry. But if you just want a t-shirt and we don’t have it, do you really have to throw a fit? Sometimes I think such behaviour was cultivated by grandparents and parents who spoil their grandchildre and children. When they grow up, they expect everything goes their way as well and throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want. So shameful sia.

From wanting children, I have now begun to feel that I don’t want any. Because I don’t want to breed such species. Lol.

Hais.

And Allah is Al-Basir, the Seer of All. – MM

I Ramble: 18 July 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Meow! Welcome back little old me to this little old blog I still call a home. How are you all doing? I feel like entertainer inclined to make a greeting before I start the show. Unfortunately, I’m not much of an entertainer but I’ll work on that.

Basically to sum up this week, I had a midnight shift last Monday so I returned home on Tuesday morning and got yesterday off but today is the first day of my five working-day streak. I don’t know if I can survive it but I hope this time it will be less painful than previous instances of working alone. In fact, I’m not filled with too much despair because:

  1. There is no government today. My GM and DM should be at HQ. I hope.
  2. Will only see my GM tomorrow as my GM will be off on Saturday and Sunday. I hope.
  3. My DM will be off on Sunday so that means no government again on Sunday. I hope.
  4. I will only be working alone on Saturday. So there isn’t really much for me to stress out about. I hope.
  5. I will have double off days on the upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday.

So yeah. I’m good. For now. I hope.

I think I will need to check my finances when I get back and make arrangements accordingly. WoW has been fun but costly. I will need to stop my subscription for a little bit as I foresee having to pay for my insurance soon and it will be some time before I receive any sort of bonuses from the company.

Thinking of halting my Netflix subscription as well. I need to port over to another provider as advised by my brother since he has recontracted to a different plan.

So many monetary things to think about.

Additionally, I need to sort out a gaming routine of some sort. I feel super spoilt for choices as I have Nintendo DS, PS1, PS3, PS4, PC games and mobile games to play. Within the PC games range itself, I can always play Diablo III or even start on Hearthstone as recommended by my colleague on Battle.Net. There’s also plenty of games on my Steam and Origin accounts. I almost forgot about games that don’t require online platforms too. I have some on my GOG account.

But of course, more importantly, I need to re-establish my house chore routines and get back to learning how to cook. Still not a fan of it. Hais.

Alrighty that’s about it for now. Gotta walk to work.

And Allah is As-Sami’, the All-Hearing. – MM

So Mesut Özil got married three days ago. Huhu. My husband was like, “You think you’re the only one who can get married, is it? Mesut Özil cannot?” Wakakakaka. I said, “Ja!” XD

But nope, the above photo is not his wedding photo but I chose that photo because it shows how my husband treats me everyday; showering me (or actually my face) with loads of kisses.

Just like that.

I love kisses.

But anyway, when I look at his wedding photo, I can’t help but feel happy for him. They look right for each other. I think they are right for each other.

Then it makes me all nostalgic.

You know, of times when you thought that the first persons you fancied will be your forever (and Mesut had his fair share of first loves — she was older than him, a popular German singer).

Then of the times when you thought it would be impossible to move on from your first heartaches and breakups (and Mesut had a bit of an on-off relationship with that singer).

And finally of the time you found the right person. And everything just clicks and falls into place naturally. Mesut was with non-Muslim partners but his now wife is actually a Muslim. And I believe it helps too that she is Turkish as well. Things do get less complicated when there are no religious and cultural differences between you and your partner.

So yeah, just hang in there guys, and have faith. I truly believed I would meet my husband, although at one point I believed I would meet him in Heaven instead because doing so on Earth just felt impossible.

I used to be shunned for always wanting to meet and be with my life partner. Even accused of not knowing how to love myself. Now I’m glad I didn’t give up on that dream of mine.

And shortly after typing the above…

Husband: (While massaging my back and shoulders) Who are you messaging?

Me: Nobody.

Husband: Oh. You’re reading?

Me: Nope. I’m blogging.

Husband: Oh.

Me: About Mesut Özil.

Husband: Pfft. Ask Mesut Özil to massage you then!

Me: XD

I Ramble: 30 May 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Before we start this post, let’s have some mood music!

Ahhhhh oooohhhh ~

Okay, earworm established. I’m back on the Internet, bitches! Woohoo!!! Also, I’m back on WoW!!!

Fate was on my side as I secured a contract with MyRepublic. I took the gamer bundle. It comes with the ps4 pro! Woohoo!!! Pro la sia!

But I haven’t received the ps4 yet. Doesn’t matter. I’m too occupied by WoW now anyway! Also by this totally addictive mobile game called “Call Me Emperor”. I guarantee you it is fucking addictive. I even spent money on it because…Joan of Arc. I just had to get her as my minister!

Why, Huda, why.

Anyway, with regards to WoW, I decided not to continue my Hoarde orc character as I feel completely lost and afraid when I logged in. Decided to start from the beginning but this time, with an Alliance character instead! It has been interesting and snazzy so far. I really have forgotten a lot of things!

Sadly, I had to OT at work today, leaving me with little time to WoW later. Huhu.

Also, Arsenal lost. Stupid la.

And Allah knows best. – MM