I Relay: 11 April 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

It’s Sunday! And that means another round of watching a video on Islam.

I wouldn’t particularly recommend the following video to people who would like to be introduced to Islam because I still feel it’s a little complex. I wish it could have been clearer on the six pillars of faith in Islam. However, the big positive of the video is that it clarifies what a belief system is about and that it consequentially leads to externalising the belief through deeds and actions.

Notes:

1) Belief in Arabic is ‘Iman’. The six pillars of faith is also called the six pillars of Iman.

2) The six pillars of faith are derived from the Quran and succinctly packaged by scholars into a creed. This is where it can be tricky if one decides to look into the various scholars and schools of thought in Islam.

3) Deeds are expressions of faith.

4) Can faith increase or decrease? There are two views on this:

i) You are either entirely have faith or not.

ii) Faith can increase with the increase in deeds that brings one closer to God, improved relationship with God, and vice versa.

5) What was not expressedly shared in the video is what exactly are the six pillars of faith:

i) Belief in Allah

ii) Belief in His Angels

iii) Belief in His Revelations, namely the Torah (revealed through Prophet Moses), the Psalm (revealed through Prophet David), the Gospel (revealed through Prophet Jesus) and the Quran (revealed through Prophet Muhammad).

iv) Belief in His messengers/prophets, namely the 25 prophets from Prophet Adam to Prophet Muhammad.

v) Belief in the Day of Judgment

vi) Belief in predestination

I think this video is prompting me to learn more about the 25 prophets and their stories. Maybe I’ll do that in the next post since it requires a bit of research.

And Allah is Al-Malik, The King. – MM

Little Moments; I Ramble: 8 April 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I had lamented previously about trying to keep the instrument I was practising on to myself.

Whadya know, the very next day when I played it, le husband didn’t take over. Instead, he came from behind me and played with his arms around me.

It felt very intimate and it was the kind of intimacy I had been craving for a long time. I leaned a little on his right arm as he played, wishing we could have more of such moments.

But, a shame really, that despite being off duty and being available to my husband the whole day, he was absorbed in his computer learning.

It felt like a wasted day yesterday. I did nothing but sleep like a depressed person.

I just wanted some romantic attention from my husband. Why is that so hard. Lol.

And now I find myself having to get back to work. Dragging myself as I type away on this little phone.

I feel like digging a hole and disappearing into it and never having to surface.

But that sounds like digging my grave and resting there forever.

I guess, I can sleep some more when I die. But to sleep a peaceful sleep when I’m dead means I have to first ensure that I have destroyed all my sins and fully paid my debt to God.

I dreamt that I was cleaning out a bathroom. I Googled what that meant because it was a perplexing dream. Apparently, deep down inside, I am trying to clean out whatever is bothering me, cluttering me.

After much thought and a whole lot of hesitation, I finally said a prayer in the hopes that He have the best plans for me that His best plans for me will come to fruition easily for me.

And Allah knows best. – MM

The Problem With Living With Another Musician; I Ramble: 6 April 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

It is great to live with another musician. You get to listen to his music for free and you have free access to his knowledge and skills in music. Learning music is a huge investment and not everyone is privileged to attend formal music education. I think this is what people may overlook. They attend a few years of music school and then frown upon those playing on the streets, whom may be without formal education.

I would not say I have been in the company of music elites but I must say I have been privileged to be in the company those who have many years of music experience. And it is very interesting to interact with someone who was self-taught and someone who studied music more formally. The former is my husband and the latter is G Hustler.

And I must say, there is no right and wrong way to learn music. They are quite comparable in terms of knowledge and skills. Both of their ears are well-trained over the years. Both of them are also multi-instrumentalists. My husband is comfortable playing the piano, guitar, bass guitar, and drums. G Hustler has played saxophone and is comfortable playing the piano and guitar. But I must say he is haphazard on the drums. I definitely fare better on the drums compared to him!

What both have taught me is that we do not have to be so rigid in our music exploration. Additionally, true musicians will always be willing to give some pointers and guidance for free because in the end, it is all about the love for music. So as a learning musician, I should be more open to receiving tips.

But sometimes I just find that difficult when all I want to do is to be alone in fiddling with the instrument.

You see, the problem with living with another musician is that they get attracted to the sound of music when you are playing and then they get into the mood of playing themselves, and before you know it, they took over your instrument and consequentially your time to play it.

Sighs.

I need to figure out how to best utilise my music time. Maybe I will need to move on to another instrument when my instrument is taken over or go back to the books and learn the theoretical aspects while waiting for my husband to finish conquering my instrument. Lol.

And Allah knows best. – MM

Sempre Libera; I Ramble: 4 April 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

It has been some time since I have blogged here. Or at least that is what it feels like.

Sometimes, I really do not know if people wish for my misfortune. I have no choice but to face all adversity as an opportunity to redeem myself each time.

Nonetheless, life has always been like a wheel; ever turning, ever moving. Right now, in this place and time, no matter how difficult it is, I have to appreciate what I have.

At first, I was just taking one for the team, for all the women who long to have a loyal and loving partner. But the more my husband does his best to please me, the more I see what I have that most do not. And it is hard to not appreciate what I do have.

Almost dumb not to.

I know I deserve more and I deserve better but I also know that I have been praying for the best in this life and in the afterlife.

There must be a reason why I am written to be here right where I am right now. If this is the best path to heaven, I can only do my best to navigate this concrete jungle without losing my religion and without losing myself.

And I also know my husband deserves more out of me and deserves better from me.

It dawned on me that perhaps taking a different perspective would make me see things I would easily overlook.

What if my husband was not my husband? How would I see him then?

What if I was married to someone else and I had to look at him as a someone who was single? Would I find him attractive?

Very interesting, right?

I think I will be spending the entire day thinking about that.

And Allah knows best. – MM

Huda Lee Again! I Recall: 29 March 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Such a strange coincidence. I was just talking about Bruce Lee in the previous post when we bumped into his wax figurine at Madame Tussauds yesterday!

HAHAHA! So that’s me trying to be a Huuudaaaaaa Lee. LOL.

And Allah knows best. – MM

Huda Lee; I Ramble: 28 March 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

“Huuuuudaaaaaaaaa!”

Apparently, when my name is exclaimed that way, it seemed to have a very martial arts ring to it. That’s when Bruce Lee came up in the conversation and I was thereby heralded as Huda Lee. LOL.

Speaking of Bruce Lee, I found a rather heartwarming picture of him and his family and a very sweet picture of him and his wife. Both pictures were found on Pinterest.

Honestly, I don’t know if I can ever be as tough as Bruce Lee. And I don’t know how long I can hold out to be the tough Huda that people think I am.

And Allah knows best. – MM

I Plan: 19 March 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

My sister Hazwanni is getting married today! And I’m the worst sister ever.

I think I’m still too selfish. I need to gather my energy for tomorrow and work throughout! I tried really hard to get more work done but I still feel the exhaustion from my full-time job.

So right now, as I am getting ready to sleep at 2am, I decided to plan out the things I need to get done later during the day.

7am: Subuh, Quran, and charge GoPro

7.30am: Breakfast

8am: Iron outfits for attending wedding

10am: Complete packing of wedding favours

1pm: Purchase memory cards for GoPro

3pm: Get ready for wedding

Evening before bed: Blog on MM, share current affairs on SG, check on Stripe’s reply for SMC, and check on 4V77V.

It will be a busy day tomorrow.

And Allah knows best. – MM

Answered Prayer; I Ramble: 14 March 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

What I really like about the first chapter of the Quran is that it makes an earnest prayer.

And I think my effort of simply reading the translation of it had somehow turned into a prayer. This is why we should think good thoughts and make good speech. You never know when your thoughts, expressed or kept to yourself, can turn into a prayer.

So I was in a bit of a bind and was not able to express myself and my situation to my husband, A. Somehow, yesterday morning, it all came out of me without me arranging my words or planning when to say what I need to say. I couldn’t even stop myself. It was like I was performing a script made for me. On any other days, A’s reaction would have been highly likely negative. For some reason, his reaction that morning was super positive. He held me in his arms and said, “I’m very proud of you.”

Bewildered, I had to ask him to affirm that he wasn’t mad at me. He reassured me that he wasn’t.

And that sort of grace continued into the night. On a typical day, he would be sitting far away from me minding his own business. However, last night, for some reason, he decided to sit beside me as I worked on an article for SG.

While doing so, I was chatting with the SG boss. At first, I angled my laptop towards me. But then I decided against it and angled it towards both A and I. He glanced at my chat and remarked on my conversation with le boss but I didn’t mind it. I actually like that. That openness I felt, being able to share everything in the open with A.

I really think that should be the way. I have learnt from it now, that maybe next time I should be the one to sit beside him as I do my work.

I have been reading my past blog entries from 2016. I must say, I am reminded of how much my husband loves me. I just wish he could make me feel it more in the present, instead of loving me too quietly.

And Allah is Knower of All Things. – MM