I Ramble: 15 December 2018

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I’ve been quite ill mostly because work has been hard. Wifely duties have been hard too. I really don’t know where I found the strength. Maybe from the natural sense of responsibility.

Anyway, despite being away from work a bit recently, my house is still in a mess. It’s daunting having to do physical work when your body is screaming, “Rest me!”

Anyway, WordPress is getting niftier so I thought now’s a good time to get back to blogging. But of course, I anticipate that life will happen and I’ll end forsaking this blog again. It takes a lot of commitment to maintain this blog, I’ll admit. Phew!

I read the first chapter of my story, Mortal, and I’m starting to have the itch to continue writing it. Call me narcissistic but that first chapter just sucks me right in. Heh heh heh.

To be honest, I was only writing this post because I had trouble running CSI: Hard Evidence on my PC via Steam. I deeply regret not buying the other CSI and Law & Order games whilst they were available on Steam. I don’t know why Steam no longer sell them. Oh well. Money saved, I guess.

I’ll be accompanying my husband to the hospital next week to review the progress of his ankle. His hospital bill came in yesterday and we were so relieved that we didn’t have to pay anything. The actual bill was close to SGD 20k. How expensive was that?!

I truly just want to be a housewife but maybe I’m not permitted to be one just yet. Seems like there is some sort of destiny I must fulfill at Uniqlo Orchard Central. Hais. I don’t even know what that destiny is but I feel like I wanna die working there already. Hahahaha!

Yes, I laugh but that is truly my sentiment. I don’t know — I guess I learnt to hide my pain a little bit. Or just laugh it away a bit. Better something than nothing.

 You know what? I miss myself a bit. I miss the old Huda who doesn’t give a damn about work and the house. This Huda is forced to be a grown-up. But I wanna be a kid again! Help!

Hopefully, I will feel loads better by tomorrow morning so I can work in peace. The Lord is Great. The Lord is Good.

Oh, oh! I started playing Bioshock from the beginning because I have completely forgotten how to play it despite having a previously saved game. I also have not finished Uncharted 2 and am thinking of getting Uncharted 1 just to rehash. But if my husband is not interested in the series, I’ll just reply Uncharted 2 from the beginning again I suppose.

I wanna do a let’s play but audio is always a bitch for me to record. HAHAHA! We’ll see how. With le husband’s superior audio skills, he can probably whip me up a nice Let’s Play set-up. MUAHAHAHA. Or not. Cos, you know, I’m capable enough of working my way around things. TEEHEE.

Speaking of audio and le husband, we were stuck at Toa Payoh library last Tuesday as it was raining heavily. While seeking shelter in the comfort of the library, I stumbled across the Dummy’s Guide to Piano and le husband felt the itch to play it. So I dug out the keyboard from the storeroom (thankfully I was fit enough to do so since his ankle was still in a bad shape and see, this is why it pays not to be too reliant on your husband). He set up my Casio keyboard and voila, he is totally addicted to playing it right now. In fact, he is totally obsessed over it!

Well, what to do, when your husband is a natural musician? Am I boasting? Well, I do take a certain pride in it but in case I sound arrogant, it was never my intention to be so and I do apologise.

I just feel damn proud of him. And that’s how I got back into Bioshock on my PS3. YES, I KNOW EVERYONE HAS MOVED ON TO PS4 AND SOON THERE WILL BE PS5! But it’s okay. I’m always grateful for what I have. If we were truly to reflect, yes, we’re worse off than someone but at the same time, we’re better off than someone else. It’s life and we have to deal with that.

I have. A bit. Progress. Still in progress.

Okay, I’m starting to be incoherent so I shall end this post here.

Thank you for reading!

And Allah is, Al-Ghaffaar, the Ever-Forgiving. – MM

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I Ramble: 8 December 2018

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Life has been exhausting. Mostly due to work. Crazy man, to have worked max of 14-hour shifts every other day. This month I am determined to not extend like crazy anymore. I need to be firm with myself mostly, which I did yesterday. Although I still had piles of work, I decided to leave the unfinished business for today. Work will never end and as long as you know you have been productive, why be guilt-tripped into staying as late as others? Extending hours doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is hardworking. It could and many times should be scrutinised as inefficiency.

So that’s that for work.

As for the household affairs, I’ve been making a bit of an effort…finally. Hahahaha! I finally cooked when I’m home and have recognised the natural routines of washing and cleaning up. So all is good and well.

Stay good and well!

And Allah is Ar-Rahman, the Most Gracious.

I Plan: 14 November 2018

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

After work:

  • Purchase two wrist guards, one knee guard, and one ankle guard from Japan Home or alternative.
  • Purchase Nicorette gum.
  • Spend Cold Storage vouchers.
  • Purchase one spray bottle.
  • Purchase sturdy water jug or container.
  • Do laundry.
  • Cook.

And Allah is Al-Musawwir, the Fashioner of Forms. – MM

I Ramble: 4 November 2018

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Things took a turn for the worst. Le husband is now in the hospital with a shattered ankle. It happened last Tuesday morning. I suppose anyone in my position would have been traumatised. I was woken up by my husband who crawled from the living room to the bedroom because he dislocated and fractured his knee. And me being too considerate of everyone else except for my poor dear suffering husband, was afraid to make the 995 call for fear that it was not an emergency. But after looking t up on SCDF’s website, dislocation and fractures are indeed considered an emergency. For the second time, I had to make a 995 call for le husband. Previously, I had to make the call for him when he became breathless due to a panic attack but at that time, I was still living with my parents in Tampines and he was living by himself in Buangkok. And so to actually see the paramedics arrive and to give them ample space to operate as well as being the one to lock the door and to ensure I have our phones and wallets with me, it was quite an experience that I hope nobody will have to go through. It’s not like it’s super traumatic but it’s not a pleasant experience. I got to ride the ambulance and we were taken to Sengkang General Hospital. Thankfully, that hospital has been opened for a few months. If not, we would definitely be sent to Tan Tock Seng Hospital, where it would have been further and more inconvenient for all of us. So for the first time in my life, I actually went through the actual process of hospital admission as a caregiver.

Hais.

So yeah. I am completely exhausted and I just feel like giving up my job but hey, this is adulting. I will need the money to take care of him now that he is in a bad shape so I can’t just happily be away from work.

And now that there is no more le husband at home, I have to do the chores already.

It’s really damn tiring to be working full-time while running a household and being a caregiver.

Sometimes I really wonder just how people did it. And some are still doing it. Because for myself right now, it’s not too bad since the hospital is taking care of him. But once he is out, he will be my sole responsibility. And that’s where the fun begins, so to speak.

But hey, just be brave.

Because for the brave, nothing is too difficult.

And Allah is Al-Bari, the Maker. – MM

I Ramble: 16 October 2018

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Heya!

So turns out my period began yesterday so I couldn’t touch the Quran. Nonetheless, I read up the meaning of Al-Faatihah and watched a lecture on the tafsir or elaboration of that chapter in the Quran. It is a long video, close to an hour but I only watched like 10 minutes of it probably so I’m hoping to resume it tonight.

I have more or less memorised the meaning of the chapter because I was forced to during my religious classes so now it’s a matter of increasing my concentration during the five daily prayers by going through the meaning in my head while reciting it.

What I took away from watching the ten minutes of the video was that as we recite Al-Faatihah, especially the first part of it, we are actually conversing with Allah and He is responding to us. The problem is we often pay lip service to the verses because we most probably didn’t know that He is responding to us with every verse recited. I didn’t know to be honest. So now that I know, it definitely changes the way I view the five daily prayers from simply routine to actually facing my King and engaging with Him.

So that’s about keeping up with my daily Quran. I am happy to say that I washed the dishes last night but kan, I only had a cup and a teaspoon to wash. LOL. Because we Grabbed food last night. Le husband is still sick and was too drowsy to cook.

So tonight’s mission is to keep up my routine and I’ll see if I can manage to do another chore.

Boring, right, my life? But I know you are addicted to the way I write because I simply have a good flair for writing, even on the most mundane things. *flips pen*

Nyohoho! Did you catch that?! I flip pens instead of hair. Wakakaka!

And Allah is Al-Jabbaar, the Compeller. – MM