Ending My 32nd Year of Living; I Ramble: 24 August 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Just had a desire to blog although I do not really have any objective or story to share.

I guess, my 32nd year of living went by pretty fast and it had been pretty hectic.

A lot of ups and a lot of downs.

Said goodbyes and hellos.

I feel like I have not achieved any of my goals. Sadly. However, I am not going to beat myself up for that. I did what I could. I survived the way I could.

Do I feel like I have grown? Funnily enough, yes, I do feel that way despite not achieving my 2022 goals. I got to see a side of me that I never thought was possible — working three jobs! My goodness.

I am not sure if I get to trim it down to two because we still need to have some money rolling in.

I will have to play by ear.

Still, if there is one thing I would like to focus on is to get into the routine of waking up at 5am in the morning.

I have no choice but to do so because that is the only way I can ensure I will be punctual for my first two jobs. I really want to knock out early at night instead of sleeping late. I want to ensure that my body is properly rejuvenated, especially seeing how I am not allowing myself to have any off days.

Wake me up when September ends? Haha!

Anyway, here’s a favourite tune of mine to round up the end of my journey as a 32-year-old and to kick off my life as a 33-year-old.

I want to continue living happily. I am determined to live happily. Whatever happens, whatever comes, I will face with bravery and kindness.

Thank you, everyone, for always rooting for me and giving me the silent support I need.

May the Lord have mercy on my soul!

And Allah is Al-Haseeb, The Reckoner. – MM

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Talking To Myself; I Ramble: 19 August 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I do not like talking to people because sometimes their reactions can be off-putting or their thoughts are not aligned with my principles.

However, I have a natural human need to talk things out.

Therefore, the solution for people like me who are unable to find that satisfaction in talking things out with other people is to blog or write in a journal or just talk to one’s self.

I used to write in a journal before the age of Internet and blogging. Now that I have blogging at my disposal, it is how I try to process my thoughts without having to filter out so much shit.

I acknowledge I have this insane need to tell someone like, hey, this thing happened and it sucks and I just wanted to tell you what I feel about it. On the other hand, at the same time, I am not looking for anyone’s opinion. I just want to be heard.

Why is that so hard for people to do for me? Lelz.

Anyway, I just wanted to let out that the pain in both of my feet are acting up really badly now. They used to just ache at the end of both weekend days that I work but now the pain is persisting throughout the week. The pain is especially at my heels. I guess my heavy footing, cheap footwear and the standing/walking nature of my weekend jobs are really chipping away at my foot health. I finally begged my husband to give me his cushiony insoles that he got from Decathlon. Hopefully, that will ease my pain throughout this weekend. We shall see.

I wish I could get a break. I guess this is why people need off days. I can already feel my sharpness falling by 60% and I am just mentally not there when it comes to paying attention to things and people. Social interactions feel burdensome. Social requests become mammoth tasks. I am not even in the mood for my upcoming birthday, which is about six days away, I reckon.

That’s the first gripe.

The second point of contention is why the hell does Singapore think I do not deserve a minimum $4000 paycheck and kept on pushing me to settle for less? Do I really have to stick my paper qualifications onto my face? Write the years of work experience on my cheeks? Must they really tell me how they had to fight for me so that I can earn that job?

Fuck.

I can work like a dog but I hate being treated like a dog expected to sit, stay, and roll over on command.

This blog post is a much needed reliever because damn, I have so much aggression, frustration, and resentment. These mental walls can only hold so much turbulent thoughts.

I am tired. I am unwell. I am in pain. I badly want to date my husband but there is just no energy and time for a date. There are mean people out there. People are attacking our integrity without checking themselves first. I am really starting to bear a lot of grudges and resentment now because I have been so great at taking things in my stride and absorbing a lot of negativity from stupid people.

Gah. Urgh. Mergh. Grrr. Raaghh.

Gosh, I feel so much better after blowing off some steam. Now, I am going to stress-eat some Maggi noodles and just watch some Arsenal documentary series thingy on Prime Amazon.

So long, suckers.

And Allah is Al-Muqeet, The Sustainer. – MM

There Is Just No Time To Die; I Ramble: 17 August 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I do not think I have watched any of the Bond movies in their entirety. In fact, I can barely recall any snippets. Weirdly, I feel like watching them after stumbling upon Billie Eilish’s take on the Bond theme.

I have enjoyed Adele’s but I have to say, as someone who does not follow Billie Eilish, she did a great take on the Bond theme. There is the theme of betrayal in it, which adds to the idea of a hero’s pain. So this tops Adele’s Skyfall.

I even want to learn to play this song on the ukulele. I found a really good ukulele cover on YouTube.

The other ukulele guides are not as flavourful as the above.

I hope I can carve out some time for this because at the rate I am going about my life, there is just no time to die.

And Allah is Al-Hafeedzh, The Preserver. – MM

My Mind in Muharram; I Ramble: 5 August 2022

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I feel tired.

I feel frazzled.

A little scattered.

My body is totally aching and sick.

My mind is completely all over the place so I take back on what I said earlier — being a little scattered. Clearly, I am more than just a little scattered.

I guess that is because I do not really have time for myself. My body is pretty much falling apart on its own.

I know my body is still living but my mind is sort of dying. It has been shutting down a lot. I have not been able to actively listen and retain information. Most times I have no idea what the person is conveying to me and had to just guess my way around. It is getting pretty bad but weirdly it feels normal.

Of course, it is not something I should normalise.

I am pretty sure this sentiment is thematic throughout the many donkey years of my blog’s existence. Like what’s new? Haha!

Just a quick hello post before saying goodbye to try and get back to turning my life around for the umpteenth time. HAHA.

So long, suckers!

And Allah is Al-Kabeer, The Most Great. – MM

Hello, July 2022; I Ramble: 1 July 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Yooooooooooo….itta meeeeee….

How was your first day of July? Today was a pretty hectic day of work. I’m really tired out by the day’s load. I’m very upset that I missed out on my first two obligatory prayers. Going to really get back to waking up at 5am because that has been my goal since foreverrrr! I still have another 6 months of the year to cement the routine of waking up at 5am. My problem is that I’m always thinking, “What the hell am I doing waking up at 5am? My body is crying out for sleep!”

So I really want to achieve that. I believe once I can achieve that, I can pretty much achieve everything else because things will just fall into place once I am consistent with the time I create for myself and once I am consistent with my daily prayers. It’s that easy to be honest. Just a matter of executioning the plan.

As you can see, I only managed to do 5 of the 10 things I wanted to do. To be fair, I took longer than I anticipated to iron our clothes for a wedding tomorrow because — get this — I had to clean the iron and the ironing board beforehand. That’s how long they have been in storage. Geez. I was already tired from work and then I became even more tired out by the ironing shindig. Goodness. But oh, well. At least I managed to force myself to get 5 things done today. It feels like an accomplishment for me because I usually just don’t do anything when I feel tired. I’ll end up watching videos and playing games to just unwind. I definitely feel more productive today than I usually am so that’s good. I’m happy with that. Although it was not a great start to July 2022, it was a better start than previous starts. I will set tomorrow’s goals tomorrow, in the morning, because I want to approach the day with a fresher mind.

And Allah is Al-‘Alee, The Most Exalted. – MM

July Bujo Setup; I Plan: 30 June 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Determined not to repeat the mistake of setting up my bujo halfway through the month, I have prepared next month’s setup. Tada!

This month, I decided to do a full spread of the July calendar for easier reference. I tried to copy the design by the following journaller:

She used paint so I used water colour pencils. Of course, her design is nicer and she chose to do a cover and then her monthly log. I found that I do not need the bird’s eye view of the month. I just need a calendar I could easily refer to. After all, I had the yearly log set up earlier in the 2022 section of my bujo.

Then I did my weekly spread in the way that I feel will work for me. I amended certain aspects because I realised that not all tasks take the same amount of time. I learnt this the hard way when I did the blog post on Peaky Blinders’s pilot episode. I took 5 freaking days to complete it! Then that just knocked out my ability to keep up with my MITs and everything just went out of the window. That is why I have created a ‘Duration’ column for me to realise which tasks are mammoth and may need to be repeated on the following days before I can mark it as completed.

However, after looking at my design now, I realised I left no room for me to write down events and notes for the day. I think I will need to dedicate each day’s spread to an entire page for future days.

I should probably make some sort of attempt to make my daily spreads more pleasing but for now, I think my focus is on trying to create something that works for me.

And Allah is Ash-Shakoor, The Most Appreciative. – MM

How to Explain to Your Children, How to Handle and Save Money by Thorsten Hawk; I Read: 27 June 2022

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Do you guys remember I talked about reading a book during Ramadan? You can refer to the post embedded below.

In the end, I did not read the book during Ramadan! Gah! I am inspired by Thomas Shelby’s character trait of remembering and tying up loose ends. So I finally got around to it and here is my book review!

It is actually a short read. Easily completed within a couple of hours. I do not understand why I took too long to get around to reading it. It kind of disappointed me in the sense that I expected this book to really delve into the methods more elaborately.

The flow of the book is okay. You have your usual structure of introducing what money is, the history in the way people use money, and the evolution of money from coinage to cashless and contactless. The introductions are quite succinct because after all parents would want to get a brief understanding of it in order to explain the topic of money to their children. That being said, I wish there was more of an active involvement of the author in conveying to the parents who read this book. For example, what are the keywords to use for the different age groups to understand the concept or how to paraphrase the definition of transaction for them. There are suggestions in the book to help parents in coming up with solutions to explaining or teaching the concepts related to money for different age groups. I just wish it was more consistent throughout. I do not know. Maybe I was expecting more handholding. There are some cool ideas inside, which definitely can help parents guide their children. The more difficult concepts for children, even myself actually, come in the later part of the book. The author did try to explain those difficult concepts by naming the type of games children can play or day-to-day activities that will invoke children’s active participation. Just simple methods that will make the abstract concepts become more tangible to children.

There were some typographical errors. It could be because this was a first edition and the editor was also the author. Sometimes, you need a fresh pair of eyes to go through your content. It seems like it was produced by a single person under Amazon Germany. However, I am not sure if the typos were a result of transcribing from print to digital, since I read the digital version of it. A few formatting inconsistencies as well, which does not take away the message of the book too much.

Although the author wrote from the context of Germany, there were attempts to make the text globally relevant so parents should still be able to use this guide comfortably.

I think this book has a great potential to be revised with expansions to certain aspects. For example, there could be simple lesson plans attached to each chapter or concept or they could be consolidated at the end. The book could also segmented into various age groups in terms of the explanations for parents to use on their children. Believe me, it is not easy to teach and not all of us are equipped with the ability to make difficult subject matters easy to understand. That sort of handholding between the author and the parents will definitely give parents more confidence in their teaching. On the other hand, this book also has the potential to be turned into a series, with each book focusing on different age groups. In that way, you do not have to dump everything into one book.

However, the book is also realistic in terms of making it a quick read for parents. Parents are not always privileged to take the time to learn. If they needed a quick tip, this book does it just fine.

Will I recommend you to read this book? If you just need quick lessons, this book may help you. You can just get right into the concept that you would like to teach your child without going through any fluff. If you are looking for a detailed step-by-step guide, this is not the book you seek. However, it does sort of lay out the concepts from simple to more complex ones.

And Allah is Al-Ghafoor, The Exceedingly Forgiving. – MM