Category: I Ramble

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I know I said I would post on two days ago but my day became completely overwhelmed by unexpected events. I even reached home after 10pm, most probably the latest I’ve been home after work. I do not wish to relive it so I will just skip past that.

And just yesterday, I was busy with the jamming sesh. So yeah.

Let’s just delve into my Post-Christmas Break plans.

And nah, I don’t need to wish you hahaha!

Post-Christmas Break

Day 1 (28/12): Besides getting myself ready to get back to work, it’s also about getting myself ready to get back to business — life business and business business.

On the way to work: Blog.

Break time: Buy belated Secret Santa gift.

On the way home: Listen to ‘Creep’, ‘Price Tag’, ‘Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying’, and ‘Mimpi Yang Sempurna’ multiple times. I wasn’t satisfied with my performance of those songs during the jam. I need to improve.

At home: I’m pretty sure that by now, I wouldn’t be done with my cleaning plans so a continuation sounds good.

Day 2 (29/12): I almost forgot to update — I botched ‘This Is The Police 2’ and returned back to ‘This Is The Police’. Right now I’m about halfway into the game. Hooray!

On the way to work: Blog. Keep that consistency.

Break time: Buy that A3 spread I’ve been meaning to get from Typo.

On the way home: Source for cap printing vendors.

At home: Migrate Street Mob Clothing’s website from Wix to WordPress.

I think that is a good plan for now.

And Allah is Al-Muqit, The Nourisher. – MM

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Not the Sunday morning I would enjoy but a Sunday morning it is nonetheless.

And it is a cold one. Shivering now in the bus.

But the mood is pretty chill. I think today is going to be a good day and I know I can clock out on time today, leaving me with more time to practise singing at home.

And surprisingly, I fulfilled everything on my agenda yesterday. Yippy! So yeah, off to a good start for my Christmas break!

Seeing that we’re on a good run, let’s chart out my Christmas break plans!

Christmas Break

Day 1 (24/12): Last chance to practise, practise, and practise! I’m going to spend the whole day getting ready for the jamming session that night. The following is the setlist:

1. Creep by Radiohead
2. Akan Ku Tunggu by Candy
3. Like A Stone by Audioslave
4. Zombie by The Cranberries
5. Price Tag by Jessie J. feat. B.o.B
6. For Whom The Bell Tolls by Metallica
7. Ikrar Perwira by Rusty Blade
8. Morning Glory by Oasis
9. Paranoid by Black Sabbath
10. Kekejaman by Rockers
11. The Trooper by Iron Maiden
12. Halo On Fire by Metallica
13. Kasihnya Laila by Jinbara
14. Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys
15. Seek And Destroy by Metallica
16. Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying? by Megadeath
17. Mimpi Yang Terindah by Peterpan

To be honest, I’m not sure if we can squeeze everything in two hours but we’ll give it a go.

Main event: Jamming Session at Asry Sound Production from 8pm to 10pm.

Day 2 (25/12): I know I will be a little hungover from the music sesh but I intend to fully utilise the day for some really deep-cleaning of my house. Here’s a list of what needs to be done:

1. Front Door: Clean door bell and around it. Dust the grille gate and the door. Wipe if needed. Wipe the floor.
2. Entrance: Dust cobwebs from ceiling and corners. Dust the shoerack. Wipe if needed.
3. Kitchen: Dust the kitchen door. Wipe if needed. Dust the ceiling, appliances and corners. Clean the walls, appliances, countertop and sink. Sweep, vacuum, and mop the floor.
4. Bathroom: Dust the bathroom doors. Wipe if needed. Dust the ceiling and corners. Clean the walls, mirror, shelves, toilet, shower, and sink. Scrub the floor.
5. Living Room: Dust the ceiling, ceiling fans, furniture and cupboard doors. Wipe if needed. Sweep, vacuum, and mop the floor.
6. Audio Room: Dust the ceiling, appliances, and furniture. Wipe if needed. Sweep, vacuum, and mop the floor.
7. Bedroom: Dust the ceiling, appliances, and furniture. Wipe if needed. Sweep, vacuum, and mop the floor.

Main event: Cleaning marathon.

Day 3 (26/12): Husband has a medical appointment at 11am. Also, my library books are due! Should I not finish with my cleaning chores, I can continue on this day. I hope everything goes well for the appointment. He seems keen on the steroid treatment for his trigger finger.

Main event: Hospital appointment.

Day 4 (27/12): Last day of my Christmas break! Damn! Again, I will just continue my chores and hopefully be done with! Also, mentally prepare myself for work. The next break I can catch is in February.

Main event: Cleaning marathon.

That’s all I have for now. I’ll update the Post-Christmas Break plans tomorrow!

And Allah is Al-Hafiz, The Preserver. – MM

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Ola! Wow, haven’t been here in ages as always and definitely not happy to report that I have perpetually failed to rouse at 5am.

I think my body is too old for it. I know, reconditioning is always possible but damn, it is hard with the type of job I have.

So, quit my job? Lol sure but I will need a better plan first or else it looks like I will be stuck here for sometime.

But you know what, let’s just forget about my failures and focus on regrouping again. In three days’ time, I will be getting a little Christmas holiday break. Thought it will be a good chance to weigh things out and do some deep-cleaning in the house in preparation for the new year, 2020.

I know, what the heck, right? I remember thinking as a kid that 2020 is like some far away distant future because at that point of time it was still the good old 90s. Even after entering the millennium, I still felt that 2020 was distant. And now, whoa, Insya Allah, I will be living it!

And Insya Allah, I won’t be living it single! ;P

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being single. I must admit I’m still struggling to remember I’m married sometimes hahaha! I’m just too used to doing things by myself and going places by myself that many times people around me have to dial me back and remind me that I have a husband to take care of hehehe!

But all is good in general for me. Still not in the most ideal situation in terms of finances and self-management as (we have established by now) but you know, I’m happy. Hooray!

The manic depressive spells still happen once in a while but those have been more manageable for the past year. But I don’t want to jinx it! So let’s move on to another topic.

So yeah let’s break down my pre-Christmas break plans:

Pre-Christmas Break

Day 1 (21/12): That’s a cool date. So what shall I do first that’s just as cool? Well, one of the problems I face holding onto this job is the lack of time. So on a workday like today, I will need to breakdown my day into sections and figure out if I have enough time to do whatever it is I want or need to do. Sometimes work gets so hectic that my break is barely a break to be honest so I will have to try now.

On the way to work: Blog

Break time: Draw a number for gift exchange and buy snacks to pack into gifts for co-workers.

On the way home: Catch up on some Arsenal news. Arteta is manager?! Omo!

At home: Practise singing for jamming session on 24/12. Play ‘This Is The Police 2’ as a reward.

Day 2 (22/12): I’m currently addicted to the game if you’re wondering what ‘This Is The Police 2’ is about. I got it on Steam. I bought it together with ‘This Is The Police’.

On the way to work: Blog because why not?

Break time: Catch up on some reading. I need to return my library books soon!

On the way home: Continue reading because deadline’s looming!

At home: Practise singing for jamming session on 24/12. Play ‘This Is The Police 2’ as a reward.

Day 3 (23/12): I don’t think I would have finished TITP2 by this date so it definitely stays as my daily reward for my hard work!

On the way to work: Continue reading library book.

Break time: Continue reading library book.

On the way home: Blog.

At home: Practise singing for jamming session on 24/12. Play ‘This Is The Police 2’ as a reward.

That’s that for now. Will continue blogging tomorrow and chart out my Christmas break plans!

And Allah is Al-Kabir, The Greatest. -MM

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Not gonna lie, man. I think back then it was so much simpler to wake up at 5am because I slept alone so there wasn’t a direct temptation for me to get back to bed whereas now that I’m married, I’m looking at someone knocked out cold on the bed and I just wanted to join him in that peaceful slumber.

Damn.

Yep, so now I have to learn to get myself up regardless of whether Beedin, my husband, is asleep or not. Gotta haul ass, gotta build an empire, son. It’s not gonna build by itself. I think I’m gonna be a bitch and just turn the lights on at 5am. Like man, if I’m gonna be up this early, damn straight you gonna be too. HAHAHA! But it doesn’t work most of the time. He still sleeps like baby through all the lights and sounds. Sheesh!

But I must not allow myself to be tempted into crawling into bed with him!

1. So yeah, first thing to do when I wake up is to hit that light switch just to tell my body, mate, it is daytime, and it is time to start building your motherfucking empire.

Okay, I’m a little vulgar these days because I’m too influenced by the Western culture, specifically what got me in the mood is hip-hop. Been watching Rhythm + Flow on Netflix, that’s why.

2. Say the waking up prayer and chug down a glass of water and a tablet of fish oil.

Gotta fend off those fucking devils trying to get you back to sleep, clothing you with pigskin. And a glass of water really helps with my digestion, yo.

3. Make my bed, which is basically folding my blanket if anything, really.

If I can’t tackle a small task, how do I even fucking build an empire, you know what I’m saying?

4. Wash up before facing my Maker.

I’m pretty sure my Maker would appreciate me putting some effort in presenting myself before Him, and He would definitely appreciate me more for finding Him first above all other things. If it is not time for the mandatory morning prayer yet, I can always perform the non-obligatory prayer for bonus points. Never know when you might need the extra cookie to get through the day.

5. Make my own breakfast. Fucking cook, if you have to, woman!

Man, I have been avoiding the kitchen my whole life simply because I don’t enjoy being in there! But you know, my funds have drained dry thanks to me not being able to cook and yo, it really costs half a kidney just to eat out the whole month for two people. Okay, maybe a quarter of a kidney.

So hopefully the 5-step framework will help me through in managing my mornings. Like just do that everyday and see how things go. I think those are the essential things. For now, I’m not putting in any exercise in the morning, mostly because I don’t think I’ll have time for that. I think once I’ve found momentum and picked up steam, then it’ll be more practical to think about exercising. But for now, noooooooope.

Because right now I’m mostly in need of giving myself reasons to be up than to think, “Oh, wow, I can actually sleep for another whole hour and rush through my morning because sleep is awesome!”

That’s really my problem. Like I rather sleep than make breakfast. But that’s got to change if I want to build an empire. Success cannot come from an empty wallet and malnutrition. And success doesn’t give you an empty wallet nor malnutrition. Hey!

I think I’m getting tired and although I’m really not looking forward to getting back to work, I should get into bed now at least and just look forward to the start of my empire…by waking up at 5am.

That will be all. We’ll start small and grow big!

And Allah is Al-‘Ali, the Sublimely Exalted. – MM

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Needless to say, I failed in waking up at 5am everyday! In fact, I couldn’t even manage one day of 5am! I can totally relate to the guys who tried out the CEO’s morning and evening routines:

But at least they succeeded eventually! Unlike me!

Hais.

But I shall try again!

And Allah is Ash-Shakur, the Most Appreciative. – MM

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

So yesterday didn’t turn out as I had planned but a terrible day was easily substituted for a great night.

Good food and good company. Easily the basis of all things that bode a good night.

I’m too sleepy to regurgitate the events of yesterday but basically my younger brothed jio-ed me to dinner at Arnold’s near my home and by some whimsical luck, he managed to drag my poor husband out of the house haha. It was me, my brother, my youngest sister, my mom, and my husband and I for that night.

I can barely hold it together in the train now. Maybe I’ll snooze a little.

And Allah is Al-‘Azim, the Magnificent.

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Title says all. I have realised that I am able to complete my tasks and others’ tasks quite timely so I don’t see the need to be guilt-tripped into staying late when I have absolutely no guilt to begin with to be honest.

It is just a vicious cycle. Work will never end. And goddammit, I’m just a support staff.

So I intend to break that cycle by being competent and timely.

Prioritise well and know what tasks can be brought forward to a fresh new day with fresh new eyes and energy.

Plus, I’m working four and five-long days this month. I need to pace myself.

So yeah today’s focus is to clock out at 5.30pm.

Get the shit done and get out of there.

And Allah is Al-Halim, the Forbearing. – MM

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Yo! It’s been sometime when I actually promised myself that I would blog here more frequently. But promises get broken sometimes. Ah, the nature of promises. Anywho, my life is now gearing towards hard work for the following weeks, even a month or so actually. I will find myself following a four to five-day working schedule, blessed with some double off days. Both of my teammates will be on holiday soon so yeah I will be the sorry-ass motherfucker grinding hard at work. I’m already gearing myself up for it. Ain’t nothing to it if I just keep myself away from feeling tired even before approaching those long work days. I just need to keep thinking about getting to the end of the day each day and time does fly fast when you’re engrossed in your work. So yeah, just keep myself busy with tasks.

Another survival tip for myself is to not overtime during those long working days. I mean, fuck, if my sorry ass is gonna work that long, that means I could pace myself throughout those days so I won’t have to worry about getting things done quickly before my next off. Brilliante.

Moving on from the topic of work, I’ve been trying to get back to my good old routine of waking up at 5am but damn, even my husband knows that some tricks just don’t work for me. I find that a lot of the YouTubers who vlogged about their daily routines, aren’t really doing so realistically. They presented the most ideal situation where you don’t have work or school to get to that morning so of course naturally they could exercise and cook breakfast as part of their daily morning routine, at least in their presentations.

How about us people who have to get to work and school? I do see some YouTubers vlogging about their first day of school or getting ready for school, which is nice but not essentially your go-to guide in establishing morning routines.

Shall I vlog about morning routines then as a working adult? The problem is I don’t have routines. I just stumble my way around in the morning and just do as I please. Sometimes I don’t feel like bathing yet so I would have breakfast instead first. Sometimes I just want to get my morning prayer out of the way first. What’s nice about what I’ve been doing is that it gives me variety. Sometimes routines can make you go “meh” and “bleh” and it just takes you longer to get a perfectly five-minute task done in good time.

But I am starting to realise that, hey man, I’m a married woman. I need to start doing stuff that is to the benefit of my family, and presently my husband is my family. So I really should be cooking breakfast and all that jazz but I’m not. Although it is not wrong by law, I feel it is wrong by me. Like, nope, this is not how I want it to be, I have to better than this.

Unfortunately for me, I’m placed in a unique position that really puts me in an existential crisis of some sort. While I would really not want to invest myself in work, kinda have no choice but to do so as I’m the sole breadwinner for now. So I’m pulled. Between home and work. And I hate that.

But that’s the reality of life, especially in Singapore.

So, what do I do? Run myself ragged for who? Or is it whom? My English sucks now.

And Allah is Al-Khabir, the All-Aware. – MM

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I was supposed to upload a positive post yesterday on 1 September, which began as the following:

1 September 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Welcome September and Muharram, marking the beginnings of a new Fiscal Year and season at my workplace as well as the new Islamic year!

Are you guys excited and motivated? Well, to be honest, I wasn’t when I was trying to get out of bed this morning after a week of vacation!

So due to my lack of motivation, I’m still crawling to work. Hahahaha!

But I actually feel better and chirpier now. Hmm.

I guess that it does help to wake up early yesterday just to get my gears in motion again.

2 September 2019 (continued)

I had to alight the train by then and once I clocked in, my day just went downhill from there so I didn’t get to do anything about the post. It started with having to go up and down the three levels of my workplace by stairs and stationary escalators, suddenly having to deal with so many ad-hoc tasks (and I didn’t get to complete them yesterday by the way), me forgetting to take my lunch bag home with me and I only realised it just as I was about to board the NEL train home from Dhoby Ghaut (and my workplace is at Somerset) so I turned back to get it, and then missing my bus home and the subsequent bus took longer to arrive so I hopped onto an incoming bus that didn’t take me directly to my house so I had to walk further from the bus stop to home, and finally, I couldn’t take the shortest route home as there maintenance works being done at the route so…..

Yeah….

Well actually when I reached home, I don’t exactly know what happened but my husband suddenly got riled up by something that is totally unrelated to him. Like whaaaaat…. I was sharing about my conversation with my mum and then suddenly he flipped. But it wasn’t long before he got hungry and looked for me for food. -_-”

Life of a wife, guys… Life of a wife…

And not to mention I didn’t have a good sleep at night as I think I was being disturbed by probably an evil being that might have followed me home from the route that I rarely took to go home (because you know what happened from the story above). Really not a good idea to walk deserted routes that I rarely take at night. If I had to do so, I better pray for protection.

Ma, now that I think about it, maybe that evil being might have disturbed him first. I think people’s understanding of evil beings might be lacking a bit. People tend to think they are capable of causing nightmares, making eerie sounds, and making apparitions but I think they are also capable of creating divisions in your household. Like suddenly put of nowhere, you suddenly feel a deep hatred for a member of the household and you just wanna isolate them or flare up at them. Very much akin to the mechanics of black magic. So hopefully that is not the case.

Hais.

But! Although a good day can turn into a lousy day and that lousiness may persist throughout even until the next day, it is important to keep focused on getting through the day firstly and then finding the pockets of space and time to relieve oneself of the clinging negative baggage. Sometimes sadly, it is hard to squeeze in that breather but ensure that you can find it before the end of the week or else you are pretty much stuck in that infinite loop of negativity. Break out.

Like today, is such a tiring and stressful and agonising day at work. I’m trying to help as much as I can with the maintenance at the workplace but ehmehgehd the entire place is just breaking down.

10 September 2019 (continued)

So I finally got around to finishing up this post within a post within a post, hence the title ‘Postception’. You have to have had watched Inception to get the reference. But I digressed. But yeah, my workplace didn’t stop breaking down on 2 September. In fact it continued to downspiral, as far as having electrical surges and trips, affecting some monitor displays on my shop floor, one cashier POS, busting one microwave, and a fridge. The microwave was completely toasted. The electrician let me see the spark that happened at the side panel and I was pretty sure that it was going to explode.

Okay, I got very extra with the signage but whateverrrr. A complete song of fire and thunder if you ask me. Game of Thrones reference there if you didn’t get it. Also, I worked 11 hours on that frigging day of electrical trips, no thanks to someone’s meddling. Annoyed.

And while I was off duty yesterday, I saw photos of multiple busted lights on the shop floor in group’s work chats. Even my Deputy Manager texted me to report dripping oil from door hinges…to which I had to awkwardly reply that I wasn’t working so I could only report today.

Hais.

So… Yep. What a month, huh? I hope to slow it down a little today.

And Allah is Al-Latif, the Subtle One. – MM

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I woke up today and had Shakira’s Can’t Remember to Forget You playing in my head in a loop. I don’t quite know what’s the significance but it feels meaningful now. Hmm.

Maybe it has got to do with my realisation that sometimes we have to remember to forget as much as we sometimes forget to remember.

Selective memory.

Or maybe I’m also exploring vocals. I used to think that my voice is ugly until I discovered that people actually enjoy different types of vocals. And a voice like Shakira is definitely a standout. Back then, perhaps, the mainstream media was saturated with pop idols that my exposure to vocals was limited to the atypical high pitched sweet voice. As I grew older and listened to more music, I began to like more operatic vocals. And so now I’m trying to understand my own vocals. I don’t think I belong to the clan of high pitched sweet voices. Lower but with a potential to go high. Chey chey. Hahaha. Hmm. I don’t quite know how to describe it.

Ma, in any case, I want to study more in depth about vocals and just, you know, assimilate myself with the art of vocalising.

But yeah, wondering if I can use my skillsfuture credit for it. Hmm.

And Allah is Al-‘Adl, the Just. – MM