In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
I am slowly but surely changing, just when I thought I am condemned to be a beast for the rest of my life.
You know how my silent depression can go on days for end. Well, it seems like I managed to keep it to just yesterday. I don’t feel all moody right now. I feel alright. I am still stressed but I don’t feel like keeping to myself all the time.
I guess what made the difference was my decision to reply A’s texts. It took me about four hours maybe before I felt bad about not replying him and decided to push myself to do so.
Well, it was nice to not have someone throwing the if-this-is-your-passion-then-you-should-be-blahblahblah lecture into my face. I know A also has that in his locker but hey, girl’s having a bad day. She just needs some sympathy — if you can’t afford empathy — so give it to her and she will be alright already.
Well, I wrote the above when my day began and I am writing now when my day has ended. Well, I was quite cranky but more smiley than yesterday. Although I am feeling the heat from work, I at least don’t feel like digging a hole and staying in there. I feel somewhat focused because I know what I need to do and when to get them done. I will finally be able to catch a little breather in the afternoon tomorrow.
For now, I would like to exhale a long sigh after a looong day.
Only He knows and He is the Knower of all things. – MM