I Ramble: 15 December 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Help. I woke up at 3am and can’t seem to go back to sleep because it feels like I’ve had enough sleep. Shucks. I think I managed two full sleep cycles but I know it can’t last me through the entire day. Haisss…. Why like this why….

Anyway, I did wake up from a little bad dream. It’s not a nightmare but I absolutely hated how real the vertigo was in my dream when the lift I took just plunged down like crazy and there were only five floors. Toinggg. More than that, I absolutely hate it whenever I dream about being separated from my family. I used to get that kind of dream a lot when I was younger and I absolutely hated how I couldn’t stick to them no matter how hard I tried. To have something like that again right now at my age, although I am less fettered, I still hate it. Separation anxiety? Lol. Like come on, fam. If you guys wanna visit me in my dreams, please stick around instead of leaving me alone or going away from me. Sheesh.

But I do feel bothered about the ending of the dream. I think my sister Hazwanni found me but… I did the leaving this time round. I left her to look for the rest of the fam. Why it bothers me? Well, the fact that I didn’t feel that separation anxiety in that dream shows just how much we have drifted apart from each other.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder but in this case, her absence has made my heart forget her.

And He is Knower of all things. – MM

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