In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

Hey, there. It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. I think. Haha. Anyway, I decided to finally write one now because I’m just going through an existential life crisis. If you don’t know what it means or if you’re not sure what form it takes, have a read here.

I’m not going to reveal exactly what mine is because I feel it is a combination of a lot of things such as the factors that contributed to my current situation and challenge after challenge that got thrown in my way.

I’m trying to deal with things the best I can but right now, it feels like the more I’m trying to take control of my situation, the messier it becomes.

But all that I will have to push to the back of my mind tonight as I will be meeting old friends for dinner. I’d imagine sharing sad things about myself doesn’t quite cut it for dinner pleasantries. I’ll feed their curiosity about all things positive though. Just to assure them I’m doing alright. I don’t want them to worry. We don’t meet often so I figure, it wouldn’t be great to end the night with heavy hearts.

My mum bought me an alarm clock, you know, the one with bells. Hahaha! I haven’t been using it though. I’ll try to get up by 5am tomorrow. It’s already April and I am nowhere near to accomplishing that goal. I feel I did better last year. Plus, I tried to stick to the 11pm bedtime last year. This year? Mostly 1am, 2am and 12am if I’m good. So.

Anyway, yesterday marked the celebration of five months being le fiance’s special someone. Hehe. I didn’t take any photos of our date last night but needless to say, I enjoyed myself very much. We had a humble dinner and a few quick rounds of billiards. It was fun playing with him. Hehe! I’m very very blessed to have him. Needless to say, I’m always falling in love with him. It’s a great relationship. I suppose our challenge as a couple is having to face extenuating circumstances. We’re good inside but the things outside are affecting us and they may be beyond our control. Still, we’re trying.

Maybe what I’m feeling right now is that I’m sick of trying. Like, I want to do something to affect change but I find myself having to wait and be patient before I can tackle those issues.

But I will be a little more patient. I’ll still try.

And Allah is Al-Malik, the King. My King. – MM