I Ramble: 22 June 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I absolutely botched the test set by the Japanese company.

Sighs.

Maybe I’m too dumb for the corporate world…

But le fiancé refused to allow me to believe that of myself. He reminded me that intelligences come in different form and mine was not related to Mathematics.

He cited my writing as an example. My story, Mortal, has made him look forward to reading more.

Well, usually, I would dwell on my failures but for some reason, I’m choosing not to this time or I’m simply disinclined to do so. Maybe financial pressures and other personal worries simply has squashed out any remaining space for self-pity.

Just get over it and get back up on my feet. I have had many rejections in life, especially lately, so I could most likely accept a couple more.

I have been receiving quite a number of offers from childcare. I know, my problem would have been solved easily if I had joined a preschool. But I’ve been so traumatised by the sector that I’ve been very reluctant to take it up again.

They don’t fulfill their ambitions. They simply show off on paper. They are only interested in making money.

Those are the conclusions I have derived from working with my former company.

Hence, that is why I am looking forward to a change in environment. Office work or retail or public service or tourist service.

I have learnt some restraint over the past five years but I am still a passionate person. So when my passion declined at the speed of light at my former workplace, I knew I had to get out of there. Still, even after leaving it, I was still tied to a sense of commitment, enough to tie up remaining loose ends.

Maybe that is why it is quite difficult for me to get a job. The competitiveness is mostly and usually based on paper results. Let’s face it, I am rather dumb in being book smart and rather gullible in being street smart.

The only thing I really have is a lot of heart.

I don’t have a lot but I still give my all.

Okay, I feel pumped enough to get on with life. May life be kinder for everyone reading this. Amin.

And Allah is Ar-Razzaaq, the Ever-Providing. – MM

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