I Ramble: 19 August 2017

In the name of Allah, the All-Compassionate, the All-Merciful.

I checked out of life for a little bit. I don’t know if it was the grief over Chester, if it was my depression, which I have now understood to be one of my pre-menstrual symptoms unfortunately, or if it was my fatigue from working at Uniqlo Orchard Central for the past month.

It’s really hard to be a woman, especially when you don’t really have the control over your biological workings. I really want to be able to be hyped and pumped and energetic all the time but my body is not up to speed with my desires. I also require a lot of time to recover from any physical exertions or ailments. As if that is not bad enough, when I’m having my monthly cycle, it sets me back even more.

But after resting today on my off day, I’m feeling better and ready to check back into life.

And le fiance really played a huge part in understanding me wholly, knowing who and how I am as a person and those biological factors that can really mess me up a lot, which affected us a bit. His patience is really important and I’m glad that he loves me with all of his love and patience. I think the patience part is what has been missing in a lot of the guys I’ve come across. So Alhamdulillah for a lover like him. 🙂

I think hearing Chester’s voice will still hurt a little bit. Linkin Park was quite a huge part of my life after all. But I don’t expect anyone to understand this.

But, let’s get on with life now.

This is 10% luck
20% skill
15% concentrated power of will
5% pleasure
50% pain
And a 100% reason to remember the name

Meanwhile I just grip my mic
And hope me and my team make it through alright
Because say what you will, and say what you might
But don’t ignore who it’s for at the end of the night

And Allah is Al-Hafiz, the Preserver, the Protector. – MM

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