In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
Ola!
I’m going to start off my first 2018 blog post by telling you what exactly is keeping me up at night at 12:25am now when I’m working later in the morning at 8am and have to be up by 5am.
Financial pressure. 080118 is truly a cursed date. Putragis.
But instead of dwelling on faults and what could have been done, we’ve decided to move towards what we could do next.
And for the first time in my independent life, I had to resort to taking up a personal loan. I can only hope my bank approves it quickly. Even so, it truly is not enough.
I’ll be calling up the complaining bank tomorrow at work during my break to enquire about their current stance and if a rearrangement is possible.
I know, that with the personal loan, we can definitely make the full payment by end of this month. I’ll just have to live with packed food everyday or just bread for my breaks in February.
You know, a lot of people usually go through this after marriage. For us, we have to weather this storm before marriage.
And so unfortunately, we may very well have to forego the honeymoon.
Yes, it’s totally unfair to me.
But rewards don’t just come on this earth.
I don’t mind saving my rewards for the afterlife.
Life is a beast and I am determined to be a Beastmaster. (Yes, I have been watching too much The Ultimate Beastmaster on Netflix.)
On a separate note, I have finished setting up my handmade bullet journal and I have set my 2018 goals. I will update this blog sometime next week unless I can make time for it. I have a lot of affairs to settle.
May He ease my affairs…and if truly the financial pressure is unfair to me, I will strike 4D later today and use the money to pay off whatever we have to. Yes, the financial onus is not on me and shouldn’t be on me but it has fallen on me. So what can I do except to manage it the best I could? But if I don’t strike 4D, then that means it’s simply an opportunity to cleanse my wealth and sins and make me come out of it with the realisation that I’m only strong by His will.
I pray may my heart remain strong for this. And may I strike 4D so we can put all of the past truly behind us. Amin.
Hit me, knock me out, and let me go back to sleep.
And Allah is Al-Adl, the Utterly Just. – MM
Metropolitan Muslimah 