Wow. Nice date. 190919. — I Ramble: 19 September 2019

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Yo! It’s been sometime when I actually promised myself that I would blog here more frequently. But promises get broken sometimes. Ah, the nature of promises. Anywho, my life is now gearing towards hard work for the following weeks, even a month or so actually. I will find myself following a four to five-day working schedule, blessed with some double off days. Both of my teammates will be on holiday soon so yeah I will be the sorry-ass motherfucker grinding hard at work. I’m already gearing myself up for it. Ain’t nothing to it if I just keep myself away from feeling tired even before approaching those long work days. I just need to keep thinking about getting to the end of the day each day and time does fly fast when you’re engrossed in your work. So yeah, just keep myself busy with tasks.

Another survival tip for myself is to not overtime during those long working days. I mean, fuck, if my sorry ass is gonna work that long, that means I could pace myself throughout those days so I won’t have to worry about getting things done quickly before my next off. Brilliante.

Moving on from the topic of work, I’ve been trying to get back to my good old routine of waking up at 5am but damn, even my husband knows that some tricks just don’t work for me. I find that a lot of the YouTubers who vlogged about their daily routines, aren’t really doing so realistically. They presented the most ideal situation where you don’t have work or school to get to that morning so of course naturally they could exercise and cook breakfast as part of their daily morning routine, at least in their presentations.

How about us people who have to get to work and school? I do see some YouTubers vlogging about their first day of school or getting ready for school, which is nice but not essentially your go-to guide in establishing morning routines.

Shall I vlog about morning routines then as a working adult? The problem is I don’t have routines. I just stumble my way around in the morning and just do as I please. Sometimes I don’t feel like bathing yet so I would have breakfast instead first. Sometimes I just want to get my morning prayer out of the way first. What’s nice about what I’ve been doing is that it gives me variety. Sometimes routines can make you go “meh” and “bleh” and it just takes you longer to get a perfectly five-minute task done in good time.

But I am starting to realise that, hey man, I’m a married woman. I need to start doing stuff that is to the benefit of my family, and presently my husband is my family. So I really should be cooking breakfast and all that jazz but I’m not. Although it is not wrong by law, I feel it is wrong by me. Like, nope, this is not how I want it to be, I have to better than this.

Unfortunately for me, I’m placed in a unique position that really puts me in an existential crisis of some sort. While I would really not want to invest myself in work, kinda have no choice but to do so as I’m the sole breadwinner for now. So I’m pulled. Between home and work. And I hate that.

But that’s the reality of life, especially in Singapore.

So, what do I do? Run myself ragged for who? Or is it whom? My English sucks now.

And Allah is Al-Khabir, the All-Aware. – MM

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