In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
I really enjoyed watching the above video about marriage in Singapore. It makes me feel rejuvenated for some reason. It really really is some real talk about marriage. There’s a lot of things pointed out that I can relate.
If you were to ask me what marriage is before I was married, I can give you all the fantastical versions of it, which I still believe in though I can’t exactly remember what those versions are hahaha!
However, if you were to ask me what marriage is now, the reply you’re going to get from me, in a heartbeat, is a sigh.
Don’t get me wrong. A sigh is not necessarily a negative thing.
I just find that, a sigh answers what marriage is about, beautifully. In that sigh, you can pick up on a culminated sense of relief, happiness, and grievances.
*huge sigh* It’s a relief to have someone in your life who will ride and die, with and for you, figuratively and maybe even for real actually.
Also, there are lots of happy moments in your marriage. Mine is full of wit and teasing and laughter, and *dreamy sigh* mostly me pouting just to get that special nice attention. 😀
But not gonna lie, we’ve had some tough moments and for myself, there are some issues that I’m still trying to navigate around as a wife. *deep sigh*
We all grow in our own pace so like the eldest couple said, don’t compare your marriage or even yourselves and the people around you to others.
One of the couples said, “Don’t listen to third parties.” That is exceptionally true. Basically, your marriage is your own. In that marriage, there is only two people. Everyone else is outside of it regardless if they are kin or kith. Even strangers will feel inclined to comment on your marriage. Just ignore them. Your marriage is your business and your business is none of their business.
But really the golden takeaway from the video is from the eldest couple again: Whenever they get into an argument, they will say, “Maybe you’re right”.
And I think that is fucking brilliant. I will definitely use that from now on, now that I’ve learnt that.
I mean, you don’t actually acknowledge that the other person is right wholly by using the word ‘maybe’ so that helps your ego and at the same time, it helps your partner’s ego because it gives him/her hope that you will reflect on whatever they expressed so they feel acknowledged at least.
See, fucking brilliant.
It was nice that they ended the interviews with each couples renewing their vows to each other.
Of course, Malays don’t really do wedding vows but more to the Hari Raya thing where you seek forgiveness and aspire to be a better person.
And damn, that is pretty beautiful too. Actually made me proud to be Malay for once. Hahaha!
Just watch the video already if you haven’t, damnit! Hahaha!
And Allah is Al-Mu’id, The Reinstater Who Brings All Back. – MM