In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
Alhamdulillah for all things that have gone right. Extremely grateful for all I have right now.
I don’t know, I’ve just been full of gratitude lately, I guess. Gotta enjoy the good things while they last!
Watching my bank account go dry is nudging me more to doing what I want to do instead of earning more money, ironically.
It should be the inverse, right? Maybe it’s not the concept of money that haunts me but the concept of time.
Seeing my money run out makes me feel like time is running out just as fast. That I’m pretty much halfway to my death. Thus, the greater sense of urgency to achieve what I want to achieve.
For anyone else perhaps, the idea of death is morbid. But thanks to Harry Potter, death now looks like an old friend I’m bound to meet before I can meet my Maker in the end.
If I should go, it would be nice to leave my mark on the world, in the form of words or music. For example, this blog itself, will be part of my legacy. I hope that I can do it some justice, even when I can’t commit to it as much as I would like to.
Speaking of commitments, I discovered that my bandmates are far more versatile and talented than I am. So I’m feeling the pressure of picking up an instrument. It’s always good to be versatile and swap around instruments. And it’s always more fun too!
So many things to do yet so little time. Why and how am I so busy?!
It’s good to be occupied though.
And being in the company of new friends, who are amazing by the way as they’re never calculative towards my husband and I, makes me realise that I’ve lived quite a chunk of my life accommodating to toxic people. And I think I exhibited toxic behaviour too. I am no saint. So when there are people who showed you kindness you’re not accustomed to getting, it feels extremely refreshing. For the most part, I keep on questioning where have all these people been in my life?! But then I would take a step back and realise that we were meant to meet after having gone through what we each have gone through.
Such a serendipity.
I had to be very patient all my life and I still have to be very patient but I must say, patience is very rewarding.
So here’s to more patience and more opportunities with friends!
And Allah is Al-Muqaddim, The Expeditor. – MM
Metropolitan Muslimah 