I Ain’t Your Average Baby Girl; I Ramble 17 December 2020

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

“Why do I always have to do everything?”

That was said to me about three weeks ago but I haven’t let it go.

It’s still bothering me. A lot.

In that very moment, I could have easily said something in return and it could have easily escalated.

I chose to shrug it off at that moment instead of pursuing it.

But now I decide to process it.

I am trying to understand where he was coming from. Maybe I haven’t been doing enough in the house.

Yeah, why not we run with that.

I’m looking at the state of my house now.

Yeah, I have to agree with him.

I should be the one to do everything but I haven’t.

I gotta be the one to earn, clean, and cook.

I shouldn’t wait for 2021 to arrive before I make changes to the way I live.

So I’m going to start now.

I really like what I did for 2016. I charted out the aspects of my life and the goals I intend to achieve in each aspect. I was fairly successful in achieving a few of the goals.

At the end of 2016, I realised that I had to drop some commitments such as investing myself as an Arsenal fan. I couldn’t pay attention to the football world as much as I wanted to. I was pretty happy with the ‘Service’ aspect of my life. I really set out to do a little bit of community service work for my personal growth. In terms of work when I was a preschool teacher back then, I really managed to bring the centre to another level. It is no easy feat to position our centre at the top together with another private preschool. They had all the funding in the world for all the nice things.

But now at my current workplace, I don’t have the room to grow and develop as much. But then again, I’ll just take in stride and I’ll have to learn to create opportunities for myself.

I don’t know if I’ll chart something out like that for 2021. Since it’s already 11pm and I have to clock in at 8.30am tomorrow, I’m going to sleep on it and enter The Boardroom in my mind.

I am going to be the gangsta lover and start doing everything myself.

And Allah knows best. – MM