In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I have decided that if I don’t feel, I won’t cry and that if I don’t cry, I won’t feel.

Now all that’s left to do is to regroup and get back to achieving targets I have set for myself.

Let’s pull it up again. Clearly, I have forgotten a lot of things.

My daily Quran reading was halted since I got my first period of the year. This is not good as I should still continue my daily Quran, just that I am only able to read the translation instead of reciting the Arabic verses out loud.

I’m going to squeeze in a bit of Quran translation reading shortly after typing this blog post.

I have been blogging on videos related to Islam, just not according to schedule. I decided to keep my schedule flexible as my life is not as routine-like as most people’s. It’s pretty dynamic so I always have to adapt to any form of situation.

I was inspired to write this song called Ducati In The Distance. Only managed a couple of verses. Not sure if it’s safe for me to work on it as a single for public release since Ducati is a huge global brand. Of course, Bruno Mars can get away with Versace On The Floor but that’s because he’s Bruno Mars, man. But I think I’ll archive that song idea. Probably best to work on something safer.

A’s friend is keen on procuring custom graphic t-shirts, so now I’m thinking if it makes sense to work with him. I prefer being independent because I don’t like to wait around for people to make decisions sometimes but I have learnt that there really isn’t such a thing as a standalone business. You will always need people. But you just gotta be smart with them.

I have set up a meeting with my photographer friend and G Hustler tomorrow as part of my efforts to launch SG officially. I think I will need to really go through the business side of things with G Hustler. Shortly after my Quran reading time, I will have to pen down my plans for both of them so that the discussion will be fruitful for both tomorrow. But I don’t know, at this time, my brain already feels a little fried so I might do it tomorrow morning instead.

I have not been exercising every Monday per se but I have been walking a lot. I will count that as exercise as the distance I covered definitely warrant the term ‘exercise’. However, I’m craving for some good burning cardio. Just so I could feel somewhat Amazonian. Hahaha!

I don’t know if I should feel happy or sad that I haven’t been gaming on console. I mean, it’s good to have less screen time but I did pay for the PS+ membership. Hais. I’ll either play tonight after doing business as a self-reward or tomorrow morning instead.

This is where it gets absolutely obvious that I’m a shit wife. I didn’t even get to work on both wifely goals. Absolutely shitty of me.

To be honest, I really don’t know how to get started with both goals. Those demand a lot of care and time from me, which I struggle to carve out from my day-to-day chaos.

They say that if something/someone truly matters, you will always make the time for it/him.

So what does that say about me? Nothing short of being a shitty wife, right?

Regardless of whether I am the one who has to force myself out of the door to work most days and be away from home for at least 12 hours on those days…whether I like it or not… people will judge me as a wife based on whether my house is in good order and whether I am feeding my husband well.

So whether I like it or not, I cannot allow myself to feel. As long as I don’t feel, I won’t cry. As long as I don’t cry, I won’t feel.

I don’t see any other way out of this. The only way is through it.

I will get through. I somehow always do. Dei Gratia.

And Allah knows best. – MM