Not Lonely But Alone; I Ramble: 10 February 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

I’m beginning to understand the world of the married a little better.

It is a place where you are not lonely because you have companionship.

But at the same time, you can find yourself alone although your companion is right there beside you.

There are just some things that make you feel alone or things that you have to face alone.

I really wish I don’t have to face stuff alone but sometimes I just find myself having to do that.

In fact I’m getting really tired of having to face so many matters alone.

Sometimes I think an evil eye was cast on us. Because sometimes things just don’t add up. It’s too unnatural; the way we are right now.

I don’t want to believe that but just for the sake of it, I have taken down our wedding photos from being display pictures on my social media, this blog included.

A waved it off, saying not to think too much about it.

Regardless, I’m sure he has felt alone too.

Like although I always visited him at the hospital when he broke his ankle, I’m sure he felt alone in facing the pain. In entertaining his thoughts about the effects of living with a permanently broken ankle.

Or even on usual days when I refused to engage in an activity he so badly wanted me to.

It’s unavoidable; that feeling of being alone.

I feel a little grown up now, I guess, with the realisation of certain things about the world.

On a different note, we partied really hard the past two days in celebrating my mum’s birthday.

For all his faults, A actually dotes on my parents a lot. It’s very important to him that my mom and dad are happy. He put himself through two consecutive days of driving to bring us all around for dining and shopping, never once complaining.

I think that’s the beauty of being married to an orphan. They make you appreciate your parents a lot more and they show you how to.

Although it was my mom’s birthday, he actually gave my dad a pair of Oakley’s sunglasses. It’s not just any pair of shades. It’s a Scuderia Ferrari.

Image from

It’s the top left one. A said they only made 100 pieces of it. I had a look at it before he gave it to my dad. The detailing is amazing. A said he had only worn it once or twice. A likes to take good care of his possessions so yup, it still looks pristine and mint.

He said that is how he takes care of me too. He prefers to “preserve” me by not “touching” me much. I hope you caught my drift. But come on, man. My beauty and youth will leave me so I should be “touched” more! In the words of Beyoncé, “Give me that Vitamin D!”

He also wanted to give a luxurious-looking watch to my dad but I stopped him from doing so because my dad doesn’t wear such watches. I’m talking about an Elmer Ingo.

That shit is heavy. How does one lug around a heavy watch on his wrist is beyond me.

I guess, for all his faults, A has good taste. Imagine if we were actually rich. He’ll prolly fly me around in his chopper because he loves flying so much.

Oh, well, Allah knows best. – MM


Author: Metropolitan Muslimah

Born 1989. Female. Metropolitan Muslimah. Songstress. Teacher in the Early Childhood Care and Education sector in Singapore. Gooner since the signing of Mesut Özil on 2 September 2013. We won two back-to-back FA Cups since. Made my first trip to the Emirates on 10 May 2015 followed by my first home game against Swansea City on 11 May 2015, which we lost 0-1.

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