Sempre Libera; I Ramble: 4 April 2021

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

It has been some time since I have blogged here. Or at least that is what it feels like.

Sometimes, I really do not know if people wish for my misfortune. I have no choice but to face all adversity as an opportunity to redeem myself each time.

Nonetheless, life has always been like a wheel; ever turning, ever moving. Right now, in this place and time, no matter how difficult it is, I have to appreciate what I have.

At first, I was just taking one for the team, for all the women who long to have a loyal and loving partner. But the more my husband does his best to please me, the more I see what I have that most do not. And it is hard to not appreciate what I do have.

Almost dumb not to.

I know I deserve more and I deserve better but I also know that I have been praying for the best in this life and in the afterlife.

There must be a reason why I am written to be here right where I am right now. If this is the best path to heaven, I can only do my best to navigate this concrete jungle without losing my religion and without losing myself.

And I also know my husband deserves more out of me and deserves better from me.

It dawned on me that perhaps taking a different perspective would make me see things I would easily overlook.

What if my husband was not my husband? How would I see him then?

What if I was married to someone else and I had to look at him as a someone who was single? Would I find him attractive?

Very interesting, right?

I think I will be spending the entire day thinking about that.

And Allah knows best. – MM

Author: Baeda

Born 1989. Female. Metropolitan Muslimah. Songstress. Teacher in the Early Childhood Care and Education sector in Singapore. Gooner since the signing of Mesut Özil on 2 September 2013. We won two back-to-back FA Cups since. Made my first trip to the Emirates on 10 May 2015 followed by my first home game against Swansea City on 11 May 2015, which we lost 0-1.

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