In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
It has been some time since I have blogged here. Or at least that is what it feels like.
Sometimes, I really do not know if people wish for my misfortune. I have no choice but to face all adversity as an opportunity to redeem myself each time.
Nonetheless, life has always been like a wheel; ever turning, ever moving. Right now, in this place and time, no matter how difficult it is, I have to appreciate what I have.
At first, I was just taking one for the team, for all the women who long to have a loyal and loving partner. But the more my husband does his best to please me, the more I see what I have that most do not. And it is hard to not appreciate what I do have.
Almost dumb not to.
I know I deserve more and I deserve better but I also know that I have been praying for the best in this life and in the afterlife.
There must be a reason why I am written to be here right where I am right now. If this is the best path to heaven, I can only do my best to navigate this concrete jungle without losing my religion and without losing myself.
And I also know my husband deserves more out of me and deserves better from me.
It dawned on me that perhaps taking a different perspective would make me see things I would easily overlook.
What if my husband was not my husband? How would I see him then?
What if I was married to someone else and I had to look at him as a someone who was single? Would I find him attractive?
Very interesting, right?
I think I will be spending the entire day thinking about that.
And Allah knows best. – MM