The Ramadan Diary: Days 17-21

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

Finally, I have the time and energy to blog. I have been trying to maintain some form of sanity while trying to keep to the spirit of Ramadan.

Just realised as well that while I had blogged about a week ago, I did not publish it! It is up and live now though.

Continuing from the angst I have from the previous post, I came across an important piece of knowledge that helps me reframe my feelings about things:

I have to bear the hardship of this world with a lot of patience and acceptance if I want to be guaranteed a place in heaven. My current hardship is a means for me to rank up in the eyes of Allah. I just need to navigate my way around this hardship with as much patience as I could muster.

Following that, I should be grateful that my hardship is already one of the easier burdens to bear. For example, I do not have to think about my children because I do not have any. I do not have to worry about having a roof over my head because at the moment, I have two roofs. I have established good working relationships so I do not have to worry about trying to fit in or wonder if I am not doing anything right by my colleagues.

I just have to see myself going over that line. Just a little bit more to bear. Just a little bit more to get done.

But I have to admit that having to redirect my anger as a scorned wife to manifesting a sense of sadaqah or charitable act towards my husband has been extremely challenging. It is a huge battle of my nafs (desire) versus my virtue. It feels like a war I can never win.

I am also struggling very hard to attain a sense of normalcy in life.

Struggle, struggle, struggle. Life is a constant struggle. Yet, here we are at the end of the third week of Ramadan. We are only left with a week more to go. I am still thinking if I should just work on Eid so I can get more money. I am not in a celebratory mood and I do not have the budget to spend on Eid stuff.

Sighs. Life just goes on.

And Allah is Al-Jabbar, The Compeller, The Restorer. May He restore my sense of normalcy in life. Amiin. – MM


Author: Metropolitan Muslimah

Born 1989. Female. Metropolitan Muslimah. Songstress. Teacher in the Early Childhood Care and Education sector in Singapore. Gooner since the signing of Mesut Özil on 2 September 2013. We won two back-to-back FA Cups since. Made my first trip to the Emirates on 10 May 2015 followed by my first home game against Swansea City on 11 May 2015, which we lost 0-1.

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