I Recall: 4 December 2016

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.





I’m too tired and lazy to recap everything in words so I’mma let some memes takeover instead.

I saw him waiting for me from a distance while looking at his phone so I just pretty much stared at him, wondering if he realised I was doing so. Hmm, I shouldn’t have texted him that I was out of the place and just amuse myself with observing how long he would take before he finally noticed me looking from a distance.

But seriously, what a handsome man. Hehehe!

Anyway, we had to take bus 30 to get to his aunt’s foster sister’s daughter’s wedding at Teban Gardens. (Phew, that was a long one!) So we walked to the bus stop. While waiting for the bus he asked if I wanted anything from 7-11. I said no. Maybe I was nervous? Hahaha! But the man seemed to know what I needed even without him realising perhaps; a sweet drink and a pack of sweets. Although those were what he wanted to get and I was really not in the mood for any nibbles, those are pretty much what low-blood sugar people like me needed on long travels.

When we were travelling together on the bus, he told me to check out the spot where a piece of metal flew into his eye before. I was struggling to find it, in all honesty. Instead, I got lost in his eyes. Hahahahaha! It was so hard for me to pull away from the gaze. Huhuhu. So in the end, I gave up. I couldn’t see it. Mehs.

Well, the bus ride didn’t feel as long as estimated time of arrival goes. That’s mostly because we were engrossed in our deep conversation.

When we reached, the people he knew were very welcoming and warm towards us. I felt comfortable instantly, especially with his aunt. Even as he left me with them for his smoke break, I had no fears or worries.

We then had to leave for my sister Hidayah’s Malay dance performance at her school. Hahahaha! It was hilarious getting there in time, trying to locate my cousin, and finally trying to locate the auditorium. What an evening! So my cousin, Fahmi, ended up being the first in the family to meet le boyfriend in person, followed by my sister and her boyfriend.

And heyyyy, one step closer to a couple photo together! Just that we have a vainpot flowerpot in between us hahahahaha!

I was a bit upset when it was time to say goodbye. Don’t leave me, Bee! But of course, I acted cool and in my usual fashion, made a complete turn away from him hahahaha! He did picked up that vibe, I suppose, because he asked upon reaching home if there was something that was supposed to be said but wasn’t. So yes, Bee. That face. Hahahaha!

Well, what a first date! It was a lovely Saturdate indeed!

And hehehe, those first moments. *shy*

And He is Knower of all things. – MM

I Recall: 29 November 2016

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.


I forgot the exact year. Hahahaha! I remember it was close to the end of year and there was this thing at Suntec whereby you write your wishes on big balls and they’ll let them float on the Singapore River. This was mine:


I think if anything, it shows that I am an ambitious person. Despite me being emo and desiring for love, I expressed my aspiration instead.

So I am an ambitious person with horrendous handwriting. Toinggg.

Well, at least I got to somewhat live the dream? Hahaha! As part of our assignment in university, we were tasked to enact a press conference. I had to play the role of the president of a company. I forgot most of the details so I’ll just let pictures speak for themselves:




Well, who knows? Maybe one day I will end up in the hot seat for real. I love that Nokia Music Xpress phone of mine by the way. I quite miss it.


And He is Knower of all things. – MM

I Recall: 22 November 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.


What a day. After being through 5 days of 6 Days of Crazy, last Saturday was the penultimate ending to a very tight and tedious schedule for me. Only Allah knows how mentally and physically exhausted I was. It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m really grateful that everything went well. That at the end of it, everyone enjoyed the play. Alhamdulillah. I prostrated out of gratitude to Him.

There was another reason why I prostrated out of gratitude to Him: A confessed to me his feelings for me and then I confessed to him and tiuuuuuuuu ceplok, we are exclusive now.

And the feeling is simply surreal and unreal and crazy. Light up the fireworks! Bang all the drums! Where are my fleeting birds and fluttering butterflies?! Forget them, where’s the whole damn zoo?! Start a party in here!

Well, it was definitely a memorable weekend for me. Words simply cannot express what I’m feeling, even in this moment right now.

And Allah is Knower of all things. – MM


I Recall: 20 September 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

17 September 2016.

I was supposed to meet A at 8am at Long John Silver’s at Tampines Mall. In the end, we met at 9.15am though because his bus, 88, was caught in a jam. Apparently, I didn’t realise he was waiting for me at the entrance of the mall and I simply walked past him hahaha! He told me he had to go after me but while doing so, he was stopped twice by strangers asking him for directions! Hehehe… I walk really fast by the way so you can imagine just how comical that was! Hehehe!

The man treated me breakfast as a belated birthday gift! Wheeee~ He brought his laptop and transferred stuff to my external hard disk as a birthday gift as well! I feel so rich! Oh, oh! I gave him a little surprise as well by transferring him stuff to his laptop. I hope he likes them. Hehe.

After breakfast, we made our way to Pasir Ris Park. It was quite funny! We kept going back and forth within the interchange before finally walking to the park via Downtown East. The walk took longer than I imagined but I didn’t have a problem with it because I enjoy walking. I just feel bad for him because he had to carry his laptop, two bottles of peach tea that he bought (I bought a bottle of mineral water for myself), and my acoustic guitar (he volunteered to carry it, okay, I didn’t force him).

Even upon reaching the park, we kept going back and forth as well trying to find a good spot! Hahahaha! So cartoon!

Well, we settled down and worked on my original song that I wanted to give to Se Young as a gift! It was so cool…having the opportunity to experience making music and witness how he input the notes he figured out for my song into Guitar Pro 5 on his laptop. I thought to myself, wow, never in a million years could I have imagined that I would know someone who is exceptionally talented and that I would get to work with him. It truly felt surreal. Actually, before working on our song, he taught me guitar basics. I was really a noob so he got to laugh at me being rubbish at it a lot hahaha! Anyway, he did a really nice thing for me. He took out my guitar saddle so that the strings would be closer to the fretboard, making it easier for me to press down the strings, thus playing the guitar becomes much easier as well. It touched me as well when he told me he’d give me his guitar pick, which is thicker than mine. He stood up, got his wallet out and got the pick out of the wallet. It was black and had the initials ‘JP’. “Judas Priest?” I asked trying to figure out what that was. “Also can,” he replied with a chuckle before adding, “Well actually it stands for John Petrucci”. I didn’t add onto the conversation about JP given how clueless I was… But you know, after doing a bit of online research, I am now more touched than ever. Check it out: http://www.jimdunlop.com/product/john-petrucci-jazz-iii

Like wow… Little old noobie me deserves a pick like that right out of his wallet? I feel even more motivated to learn guitar more than ever! Truly honoured!

Anyway, he eventually managed to figure out the chords for the entire song. I felt really bad for him because I kept screwing up my chorus singing! Ahahaha! Well, he just laughed it off the whole time. I am so grateful for that. It felt really nice to sing along to him playing the guitar. I was so focused on my singing that I think he might have been amused by it because he looked at me sometimes. Oh well. Maybe the sun was playing tricks on me. After that, since it was close to dinnertime, we decided to grab a bite at Asli Village @ Downtown East. While making our way there, he sang a bit for me, just a couple of lines, asking me if I know the song…but it was still nice anyway. I like his singing.

When we reached there, I offered to pay him for my food but he waved it off and set a deal, saying I could pay for his bandung instead while he treated me to dinner. After he ordered our food, I asked him to keep an eye on our belongings while I went to get our drinks. After getting the drinks and turning back, there he was standing and smiling. Hmm… There was something in his expression that I can’t quite figure out. Also, I don’t quite know if he has been watching our stuff or me instead. HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right, Huda, in your dreams.

Anyway, while having our dinner, he took out his laptop and showed me how his old version of Game Maker Pro works. He let me meddle with the software. Once again, it felt so surreal…to see the game he designed for me in its development form — the codings, the images, the music, the folders, and so on. I’m referring to the game ‘Fruity El Kapitan’, which I recorded a let’s play of on YouTube called ‘Fruity Fun!’ I was truly amazed by it. I think he enjoyed watching my reactions. Oh well. Maybe he was just checking to see if I understood what he meant.

After dinner the man accompanied me at the bus stop. I had a direct bus to my bus stop from there. He had to take 88 from the interchange though. I offered to walk with him to the interchange since 21 is there as well but he said that would be bo liao of me. I think we parted ways at about 6.30pm…which neither of us expected! We actually planned to meet for a few hours but whoa, we didn’t realise that we could actually finish the whole song in one day! He was really amazed by that fact as well.

Upon reaching home, we both talked about our day out hahahaha! Gosh. We both enjoyed it but we came to the consensus that the beach was too humid for us hahaha! So maybe we’ll jam at the garden near his house instead. He said he’ll even cook for me wheeeeee~!

Last Sunday night, I whipped out my guitar to play it since he has modded it for me. Wow, I can still smell his cologne on my guitar and there were little specks of ashes from his Viceroy cigarettes.

I could get used to this.

Well, yesterday, I told Eleena something that even caught me by surprise. I said, “I never thought I could be happy again.”

Only Allah Knows best. – MM

I Recall: 7 July 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Hi! So the previous post was not as cheerful as my Eid celebration yesterday. I am feeling great actually unlike what the previous post suggests. Muahahaha!

This year’s Eid was different as we broke our annual tradition of visiting as a large group on a chartered bus.

But I must say I thoroughly enjoyed myself! I got to reconnect with my paternal grandmother.

I also got to reconnect with a very special cousin, Riyandi!

I told him about my ex, my band, and A. It was fun being all nostalgic with my cousin about the good old days when we jammed together. To be honest, I never thought I would jam again and then my ex happened which consequentially led me to finding a band to sing for. Hahahaha! Let the good times roll.

I also invited him to collaborate with myself and A. Imagine this trio set-up: Ruu Dee, Huu Dee, and Ryan Dee.

Glorious, I tell you!

So I hope everyone is feeling happy too. I actually have a few more things to share including updates on my VN project, other project plans, and a new handphone.


Nothing glam la, just had to upgrade and I went for the cheap one with decent specs that is all.

Anyway, have a family photo and a solo photo… because I know you all love me. 🙂

And He is Knower of all things. – MM

I Recall: 15 May 2016

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

So… WordPress is telling me I haven’t blogged in about two weeks now. Jeng jeng jeng…

Well, like I have mentioned before, I was rather busy. Even the part-time teacher commented just how happening my life is right now. Hahaha! Well, actually, I still have yet to go on a date through LunchClick because my potential date was busy and then I was busy and now he is back to being busy again. I actually watched him perform last night at the Malay Heritage Centre. It was quite surreal to have him pick me out from the crowd when he was in front with the other performers during the finale. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stick around long enough to meet him after… because mum got mad at me last Thursday night for not telling her I will be home late.

Really, I am 26 years old and I have never needed to tell her my activities and what time I will be home all of my life. Suddenly, she got mad at me… all because of one person in the house who broke that trust. Not fair. Come on, man. She even got me to promise that I won’t meet up with strangers from the Internet. But then how the heck am I suppose to get to know people, right?! I didn’t make that promise. I can’t. She will have to realise that my world will forever be small unless I start putting myself out there. I understand her position and I know the risks. I will probably react worse than her when I become a mother myself in the future, Insha Allah. Hahaha! Should this conflict happen again, I will need to explain my position to her. Tactfully and respectfully of course.

I must admit that I want to go back to not having a curfew. Seriously, man, I have been good all these while. Cut me some slack and let me not have a curfew… hahaha!

Okay, I don’t want to turn this recollection post into a ramble. Move on.

I was busy crazy for Mother’s Day celebration preparations. God. What did I get myself into by being responsible for two classes and three levels?! Hahahaha! Please, Cikgu Nurul! No more again! Hahaha!

But the Mother’s Day celebration on 6 May marked one month of my breakup. I made it. Not gonna lie, the pain remains in my heart but I have begun to forget many details of my relationship such as dates. I only remember my breakup date now. Hopefully, that too will cease in time.

In fact, I have something new to help me chuck that out of my life completely:

13 April 2016: I guess that made it one week post-breakup. My passion for singing was rekindled through smule and I thought, heck, since I am all single again now, why not I try out for a band and see if there are any kind souls out there who are willing to take me in as their singer. So I did and after looking through a few forum posts on soft.com.sg, I stumbled upon one post that intrigued me. They were looking for a vocalist who is interested in rock and metal. They stated their age range and influences. I was alright with all those and initiated contact. I asked about the songs they usually jam to and I received a setlist. It was great that I got involved in smule so they could have a listen to my voice. Then a couple of days later the jamming session was set to be held on 12 May.

Luckily, I asked my colleague to teach me a few techniques to sing loud and strong. It did help me eventually but I still need a lot of work. But then I got busy with Mother’s Day so the practising stopped. So for the entire week after the Mother’s Day hoohah, I was practising the songs. I just completely forsake everything else, even my work actually. I don’t know. I suppose, I was very aware of how possibly skilled they might all be. I didn’t want to look ridiculous too although in the end, I did. Hahaha! Also, I suppose, I did have quite a bit of a singer’s pride. It doesn’t feel good when people tell you they don’t like your voice. :/

12 May 2016: The day of reckoning arrived. I was really nervous, really anxious, really worried. Will they like my voice? Will I be able to sing properly? Will they like me? We met up at a coffee shop nearby the jamming studio. And oh, man, I messed up horribly on most of the songs. However, somehow somewhere, I felt in sync with the band. That was when I realise, “Crap, I really want to be part of the band now”. Hahaha! Really! I can’t really explain it. After the session ended, I really wasn’t sure how things would pan out. I mean, they didn’t say if I was in or out or made any comments about my voice or singing. I offered to pay my share of the jamming cost but they refused to take my money. Haha! Then we had supper at the same coffee shop. They also refused to take my money for that when I offered to pay my share! They said next round is on me. Alrighty then! It was like a band meeting as well. We had a round table discussion about the jamming session. We discussed the good and the bad things that happened during the session. I actually received commends for the ending of Flight of Icarus during the session. I managed to hold a note for what felt like the longest time ever and nailed the final high note, which was more of a scream. Haha! I was coughing badly at the end of it! Horrible me. Hahahaha! They applauded me again during the discussion. I guess, that was my saving grace. Flight of Icarus will forever be my boon and bane. Hahahaha! When it came to my turn to contribute my input, I told them I felt a good chemistry amongst ourselves. They seemed to agree. Still, I wasn’t sure if I was in or not. Went home. Reached home.

They added me to the group chat.

Oh, okay? Looks like I’m in! 😀

I’m really happy about it. In fact, I went home feeling really overjoyed. I really enjoyed the session. Had a lot of fun. I suppose they felt the same way. I guess I will never know what they feel about me and their internal discussion about me. Hahaha!

So yup looks like it’s me and four guys. It feels like I’m a tomboy all over again! Hahahaha! Hopefully, we’ll have loads of opportunities to play together and deep down I sincerely hope we can have opportunities to perform on stage. I think that would be neat but for now, we are sticking to casual jamming and growing together as a band.

Me in a band… wow… I have dreamt of it for the longest time ever. Since we were all busy with our life commitments, we bonded over conversations in the group chat. Good fun. I feel at home with them to be honest because I feel safe and happy and I can be myself.

Band name? I’m assuming it’s Dry Magnum. Hahaha! Well they never explicitly mentioned it but one of them dropped that name on his YouTube channel. By the way guys, really, save your ears from my voice but if you wanna ruin them anyway, go here and here to check out our videos. 🙂 They play well. I unfortunately, sang less well. Nevermind, motivation for me to improve.

I will be busier at work now. Just had a new responsibility fall into my lap. Sighs. Just like that happy days can be over. But I shall trod on… looking forward to the next jamming session after Hari Raya. They want to wear baju kurung. They want me to wear baju kebaya. I told them I will wear jubah instead and they are okay with it but I will surprise them anyway with my kebaya. Haha!

Also they have been throwing ideas for a music video and band photoshoot hahaha! The suggested timings are unearthly. So yeah… this is why I want to have no curfew… I don’t want my band activities to be limited… I am willing to compromise my dating life for my band life even.

Please, Ma, please, please, never mind if I can’t date a guy until late night but please let me be with my band!!! 😀  Hahahahaha!!!

And Allah is Knower of all things. – MM